alienates | (no subject)

THE QUADRANT SYSTEM
AN EXPLANATION BY KARKAT VANTAS

UNFORTUNATELY, THE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ON THIS BASE ARE HUMAN. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT, OF COURSE, SINCE YOU PROBABLY DID NOT CHOOSE FOR THIS SETBACK TO HAPPEN TO YOU. HOWEVER, BECAUSE OF THIS YOU ALL ARE UNDER THE WRONG IMPRESSION ABOUT YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THE THING CALLED ROMANCE.

WHAT IS ROMANCE? YOU, WHO ARE PROBABLY HUMAN OR AT LEAST USED TO HUMAN CUSTOMS, WOULD PROBABLY ANSWER SOMETHING BASIC LIKE WHEN YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER PERSON AND EXPERIENCE CERTAIN TYPES OF FEELINGS FOR THEM. THESE FEELINGS ARE TYPICALLY ALL POSITIVE, USUALLY CONNECTED TO THE EMOTION KNOWN AS LOVE. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THAT'S BULLSHIT AND YOU ARE SEVERELY LIMITING YOURSELF IN THE ROMANTIC SPECTRUM.

THIS IS WHERE THE QUADRANT SYSTEM COME IN. ON MY PLANET, TROLLS ARE FAR MORE ADVANCED WHEN IT COMES TO DATING. WE DON'T LIMIT OURSELVES TO MATESPRITSHIP, WHICH IS MORE OR LESS EQUIVALENT TO THE HUMAN DEFINITION OF LOVE. WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE NOT FUCKING STUPID, THAT'S WHY. AS THIS IS AN ABRIDGED EXPLANATION OF THE QUADRANT SYSTEM, I AM JUST GOING TO DO A VERY QUICK RUNDOWN OF THE FOUR TYPES. I AM SURE THIS WILL LEAVE SOME OF YOU WITH SOME QUESTIONS AND I WILL EXPLAIN IN MORE DETAIL IF YOU NEED HELP UNDERSTANDING THIS VERY BASIC CONCEPT.

THERE ARE A FEW WAYS TO DIVIDE THE QUADRANTS. THERE ARE RED FEELINGS, WHICH MATESPRITSHIP AND MOIRALLEGIANCE BOTH FALL UNDER. THEY ARE BASED OFF OF POSITIVE FEELINGS. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM, KISMESISSITUDE AND AUSPISTICISM ARE BLACK AND ARE MORE NEGATIVE IN NATURE. MATESPRITSHIP AND KISMESISSITUDE ARE CONCUPISCENT WHILE THE OTHER TWO ARE PLATONIC. THE BOUNDARIES BETWEEN ALL FOUR OF THESE ARE RATHER BLURRED AND IT IS QUITE COMMON FOR RELATIONSHIPS TO VACILLATE BETWEEN QUADRANTS. NOW LET'S MOVE ON.

1. MATESPRITSHIP, ALSO KNOWN AS THE FLUSHED QUADRANT. LIKE STATED ABOVE, THIS QUADRANT IS WHAT MOST CLOSELY RESEMBLES THE HUMAN FORM OF ROMANCE. I ASSUME THAT YOU ARE NOT A COMPLETE IDIOT AND ARE SOMEWHAT AWARE OF WHAT THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP ENTAILS SO I WON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME ON THIS ONE.

2. MOIRALLEGIANCE, THE PALE QUADRANT. THIS IS A PARTNERSHIP THAT REVOLVES AROUND BALANCE. PALEMATES KEEP EACH OTHER BALANCED. TYPICALLY, IT'S USUALLY ONE MEMBER OF THE RELATIONSHIP KEEPING THE OTHER IN LINE. THEY MAKE SURE THEIR PARTNER DOES NOT SUCCUMB TO THEIR BAD HABITS, SUCH AS BEING AN ANNOYING SHIT STAIN TO COMMITTING MASS MURDER. BECAUSE OF THE NATURE OF THIS TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP, SOMETIMES IT CAN BECOME VERY OVERWHELMING TO THE PERSON WHO IS DOING MORE OF THE WORKLOAD. IF THIS BECOMES TOO MUCH, THEY MAY DECIDE TO STOP BEING THE OTHER'S MORAIL. THINK OF IT AS A TYPE OF GUARDIANSHIP THAT IS BASED ON BOTH GENUINE AFFECTION FOR THE OTHER PERSON AND WANTING TO HELP THEM AND JUST PITYING THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. WHATEVER THE REASON, IT IS A VERY IMPORTANT ROLE.

3. KISMESISSITUDE, AKA THE CALIGINOUS QUADRANT. THIS IS THE ONE THAT FOR SOME FUCKING REASON HUMANS HAVE TROUBLE WRAPPING THEIR THINK PANS AROUND. IT IS A FORM OF ROMANCE THAT IS FOUNDED ON HATE. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN REALLY ANNOYED BY SOMEONE'S ENTIRE EXISTENCE, YET AT THE SAME TIME YOU WANT TO HAVE SLOPPY MAKEOUTS WITH THEM? CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, YOU HAVE A CALIGINOUS CRUSH ON SOME POOR BASTARD! SEE? IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND. OF COURSE, THE FEELINGS OF HATRED CAN RANGE FROM MILD TO EXTREME, IT DEPENDS ON THE RELATIONSHIP IN QUESTION. IT'S VERY COMMON FOR A PERSON'S RELATIONSHIP TO FLUCTUATE BETWEEN A KISMESISSITUDE AND A MATESPRITSHIP, BUT TYPICALLY IT MOSTLY STAYS IN ONE QUADRANT. IF IT'S CONSTANTLY JUMPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THEM THEN YOU MAY HAVE A PROBLEM AND NEED TO EITHER GET THE FUCK OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP OR. I DON'T KNOW. SUFFER, PROBABLY. IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT JUST HATING SOMEONE DOES NOT MAKE THEM YOUR KISMESIS. YOU *HAVE* TO ALSO ACTUALLY BE ATTRACTED TO THEM.

4. AUSPISTICISM, OR THE ASHEN QUADRANT. THIS ONE IS DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS IN THE SENSE THAT IT'S A THREEWAY THING, BUT ONLY ONE PERSON IN THE GROUP IS THE AUSPISTICE. A KISMESISSITUDE, AS YOU MIGHT HAVE NOTICED, HAS THE POTENTIAL OF GETTING REALLY UGLY REALLY FAST IF NOT PROPERLY CARED TO. AS IT IS A RELATIONSHIP BASED ON HATE, THERE IS THE EVER PRESENT DANGER OF THE HATRED OVERPOWERING THE ATTRACTION, WHICH MAY END IN DRAMA OR MURDER. AN AUSPISTICE IS A, FOR LACK OF BETTER TERM, THIRD WHEEL. THEY ARE THERE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE COUPLE IN THE KISMESISSITUDE CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND DON'T SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL. THIS IS, OBVIOUSLY, A VERY DIFFICULT QUADRANT TO MAINTAIN AND IT'S FAIRLY COMMON THAT THE AUSPISTICE WILL END UP HAVING NEGATIVE FEELINGS THEMSELVES TOWARDS THE OTHER TWO. IF THIS HAPPENS, THEY MAY END UP GIVING UP THE QUADRANT OR EVEN VACILLATING TO HAVING CALIGINOUS FEELINGS INSTEAD OF ASHEN.

LIKE I SAID, THIS IS JUST A VERY QUICK SUMMARY ON HOW IT ALL WORKS. HOPEFULLY WITH THIS KNOWLEDGE, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO OPEN YOURSELVES UP TO OTHER FORM OF ROMANCES SO YOUR LIVES WILL BE LESS SHITTY AND BORING. IT'S NORMAL FOR TROLLS TO HAVE EACH MULTIPLE QUADRANTS FILLED, SO THEY MAY BE IN FOUR RELATIONSHIPS AT ONCE. I HAVE BEEN MADE AWARE THAT HUMANS ARE REALLY INTO THIS MADE UP TERM KNOWN AS "MONOGAMY" BUT OK. WHATEVER YOU SAY, I GUESS.