[ karkat has an entire internal debate with himself on whether he should proceed with this line of conversation or just hang up because like, even though dirk officially knows about them dating, karkat still likes to pretend that he does not. it makes him feel better. ]

That's because you only know him as Dave, your ectobiological bro who you apparently spoil the ever loving fuck out of. I, however, know him as Dave, the annoying douche who always ends up in dumb competitions with me for some reason neither of us don't understand. It just happens, and this selfie may start another one that I refuse to lose, Dirk.