Simone broke up with me and I really don't quite know what to do right now. I mean, 'going on with life' isn't difficult. I was just dating her, even long distance, for several years.
The reason she gave me is that we've been growing apart. I don't think she ever handled stress in a relationship well. And, well, I think you know why we've all been very stressed lately.
That damned pocket watch tipped the scale for me. I was freaking out.
You know that when you mention shit and then proceed to give me zero context for it, I have no idea how the hell to give you advice, right? What pocket watch??
[Her reply took a short minute before it came. Congratulations, Karkat, and welcome to her own brand of insanity.]
Right, sorry. I'm not thinking 100% straight, Karkat.
The pocket watch was mailed to me by Retrospec. It didn't work, until one day I was talking to a friend and it opened, started playing music. I had a flashback to myself seeing an eight year old girl I've never actually met but am apparently in love with murder a nice french couple and their little boy with a 22 caliber pistol as their pocketwatch played this song. And I know for a fact because of another of these damned hallucinomemories that those were the parents of the blonde girl that the little girl would be hanging out with, all the time. You know, the one who pulled a gun on me during the tea-time for insane people vision I had at your house?
So, I was kind of freaking out. A lot. And, of course I didn't actually tell Simone any of this. She's in France, doesn't have the app and has no clue what I'm talking about, but it was just one more time I was really stressed and needed to hear her voice. I think it's been getting to be too much for her. She was always an emotionally distant lover.
Today has not been what I'd call a good day, Karkat.
[ it takes karkat a moment to respond to this because what the fuck. why can't anyone remember adopting puppies or something? ]
Ok uh That sure is something. ......... Chloe I am going to say something and it's probably not really what you want to hear? But I'm saying it anyway so fuck it. It's probably for the best that you broke up. I don't know you well at fucking all, but whenever we've talked you seemed more stressed about your relationships than the weird memory stuff that's happening. It's just less to worry about now.
[Hey, her first memory was just a vacation to Corsica! that she totally didn't remember tormenting that same blonde girl about her dead parents during after several more deaths.
She sighed when he sent that, raking her hand through her hair and looking away from the screen. She didn't reply for a good ten minutes. She had to think about this. She had to think about it a lot. When she did, she was grateful this was text.]
I think that you are right, on both counts. One, I don't really want to hear what you said, but not wanting something to be true doesn't suddenly make it wrong.
The distance. The fact that she doesn't see these hallucinations. How bad they are. My mother is my mother. She can stand with me, but in the end, it was too much for Simone. Maybe she was right, and it was time for both of us to make a fresh start.
And if I try this again, and I'm not sure I should, I think it has to be someone who at least understands what we're going through. Trying outside? It's just too much stress. It adds on top of itself, doesn't it?
You know, sometimes I think the worst part of all this is that it's making it almost goddamn impossible to talk to anyone who doesn't have the app. So not only do we have no clue what's going on with our own lives it's fucking destroying our relationships with other people. So Sorry about Simone? I know she was important and it's bullshit that this happened to you.
Blood is blood, but everyone else has become very difficult. I can barely speak to former classmates that are not on the app anymore. It really has shattered our contact with others, though it has forced us to grow closer.
Thank you, and I promise. I will survive. I just need some time. Maybe me time. Maybe rebound. I don't know.
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Simone broke up with me and I really don't quite know what to do right now. I mean, 'going on with life' isn't difficult. I was just dating her, even long distance, for several years.
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Why the hell did she break up with you?
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That damned pocket watch tipped the scale for me. I was freaking out.
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What pocket watch??
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Right, sorry. I'm not thinking 100% straight, Karkat.
The pocket watch was mailed to me by Retrospec. It didn't work, until one day I was talking to a friend and it opened, started playing music. I had a flashback to myself seeing an eight year old girl I've never actually met but am apparently in love with murder a nice french couple and their little boy with a 22 caliber pistol as their pocketwatch played this song. And I know for a fact because of another of these damned hallucinomemories that those were the parents of the blonde girl that the little girl would be hanging out with, all the time. You know, the one who pulled a gun on me during the tea-time for insane people vision I had at your house?
So, I was kind of freaking out. A lot. And, of course I didn't actually tell Simone any of this. She's in France, doesn't have the app and has no clue what I'm talking about, but it was just one more time I was really stressed and needed to hear her voice. I think it's been getting to be too much for her. She was always an emotionally distant lover.
Today has not been what I'd call a good day, Karkat.
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Ok uh
That sure is something.
.........
Chloe I am going to say something and it's probably not really what you want to hear? But I'm saying it anyway so fuck it.
It's probably for the best that you broke up.
I don't know you well at fucking all, but whenever we've talked you seemed more stressed about your relationships than the weird memory stuff that's happening.
It's just less to worry about now.
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that she totally didn't remember tormenting that same blonde girl about her dead parents during after several more deaths.She sighed when he sent that, raking her hand through her hair and looking away from the screen. She didn't reply for a good ten minutes. She had to think about this. She had to think about it a lot. When she did, she was grateful this was text.]
I think that you are right, on both counts. One, I don't really want to hear what you said, but not wanting something to be true doesn't suddenly make it wrong.
The distance. The fact that she doesn't see these hallucinations. How bad they are. My mother is my mother. She can stand with me, but in the end, it was too much for Simone. Maybe she was right, and it was time for both of us to make a fresh start.
And if I try this again, and I'm not sure I should, I think it has to be someone who at least understands what we're going through. Trying outside? It's just too much stress. It adds on top of itself, doesn't it?
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So not only do we have no clue what's going on with our own lives it's fucking destroying our relationships with other people.
So
Sorry about Simone? I know she was important and it's bullshit that this happened to you.
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Thank you, and I promise. I will survive. I just need some time. Maybe me time. Maybe rebound. I don't know.