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[alienates]

KARKAT VANTAS

I probably do not give a fuck.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

Backdated to 2/28 Drunk Text-Misfire

[true_noir]

Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

[Who the hell had that been intended for anyway? There was a solid chance she'd been trying to text either Emilie or Arlene, but god only knew. Either way, whether because she'd been drunk on Mardi Gras or thanks to the app, this was now Karkat's little problem.

Enjoy.]

[alienates]

[ karkat spends a solid five minutes just staring at this text because like

what ]

Well that's disgusting. Thanks for the info?

[true_noir]

[Chloe spends a solid five seconds before gleefully responding, not having paid enough attention to the fact that she was talking to the wrong person. Being drunk had its advantages, depending on who you asked.]

Maybe a little. Don' worry though. No innocents were hurt in the course of learning this.

[alienates]

Please tell me you vomited on yourself and not a random bystander.
Unless the "innocents" are random bystanders.

[true_noir]

Nope, not random bystander, but definitely had it comin. Don' feel bad at all about this.

[No such luck there, Karkat. Someone definitely got hit with this that wasn't her, but hey, at least she's not saying there was any fist fights, right?]

[alienates]

Jesus Christ on a fucking pogo stick
Alright. I'm going to bite.
Exactly why did they have it coming?
Enlighten me. You have caught my attention and now I am unfortunately in for this ride.

[true_noir]

[Excuse her. It takes a full minute to reply. She's too busy laughing drunkenly at the image of a bobble-headed Jesus like the one she'd seen in a taxi cab today bouncing up and down on a pogo stick. Karkat may have broken drunk Chloe slightly, though she does eventually manage to reply.]

Oh, the usual drunk guy reasons. Not taking a hint that he's not my type. You should know how they are, right?

Did you really see Jesus on a pogo stick?

[alienates]

[ at first karkat thought she just texted him because she's drunk, but the "you should know how they are right" comment now has him thinking that she just. texted the wrong person in general here. ]

Jesus has to get around somehow.
The economy isn't what it used to be and who can afford the higher bus fare these days?

[true_noir]

[If he asked tomorrow, she probably wouldn't even remember the conversation, much less whether it was a misfire or intentional. Alcohol was never a good help, though a good indicator that this was a misfire was what she said next.]

Saves on gas! Hah. You need to come out clubbing with me again, damnit! Much easier when I'm playing your wing girl.

[alienates]

I am just going to stop you right there because there are multiple problems with those words that you just typed at me.
Let's start with clubbing.
No.

[true_noir]

What do you mean? We went out just the other day, silly. I didn't screw up at the club that night too much did I?

[Yep, definitely a misfire on some level.]

[alienates]

Oh man, you don't remember that night?
It was such a mess!
I'm honestly surprised you were even able to go out again so soon after that fiasco.

[true_noir]

I don't remember anything! I hope I wasn't inappropriate. Good dance partners are hard to find! Forgive me?

[alienates]

Hmmmmm
You may have to make it up for me this time.

[true_noir]

I ABSOLUTELY WILL! WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?

[Oh god, Karkat... she found the caps lock, or she hit it on accident and wasn't thinking much.]

[alienates]

Are you still at
Wherever???

[true_noir]

The Club? Nah, had to get out of there. Y?

[Oh thank god, she found the caps log again, and wasn't doing that thing that she'd been doing.]

Waitin on a cab to get back to my place actually.

[alienates]

[ if she kept capslocking him then it would have triggered a regain for him (no that's a lie) ]

I wanted to know how noisy it would have been.
Alright so, this is what you're going to do.
Call me.

[true_noir]

[It would have been ironic, at least.]

Ok, sure. Uh, I never programmed your number into my phone. I think that's why we always have trouble meeting up. What is it?

[alienates]

[ he just sends it to her

and waits :) ]

[true_noir]

[Ring, ring. Ring ring. Yep, there was Chloe calling, right as quick as could be imagined. When the phone picked up, she piped up before Karkat would have a chance to speak. When she did, the french accent was much thicker than usual, and the drunkenness was pretty apparent.]

Hello there. I have your number now! I'm going to have to save it.

[alienates]

Just make sure you know it's with a K and not a C.

[ his tone is completely dry. if chloe knew him well enough (or was less drunk) she would be able to tell that he's trying not to laugh, but alas. ]

[true_noir]

Eh? Wait... Monsieur Karkat? But I was trying to call Arlene?!? Did I type in the number wrong?

[She hadn't quite caught on just yet. Nope, booze wasn't good at helping there.]

[alienates]

Well, you definitely typed in the wrong something.

[ god. this is still funny though. ]

Are you even old enough to be drinking?

[true_noir]

I am afraid that I do not understand? [She didn't hang up though, laughing because ok. She could call Arlene later?] And of course I am. You Americans are so odd about this. The drinking age is sixteen in France.

[And that was her excuse, and she was sticking to it. She was smart enough to ride in a cab, after all! See! Mature!]