[ rose figured she could just text him to bother him about what precious information URSULA divulged, but where's the fun in that? she'd rather embarrass him in person. so, next time rose sees karkat around the base-- which is not long after her conversation with URSULA-- rose waves at him with a grin that is way too wide to be anything but suspicious, and just. puts her hands on his shoulders and steers him aside without even giving him a chance to react. ]
Yo, Karkat! Just the person I wanted to see. C'mere a sec, I've gotta ask you something.
[ her good, dearest friend karkat. her pal. her amigo. rose leans in and completely invades his personal space with a leer, eyes practically sparkling. ]
So... I heard some juicy gossip. From URSULA. About you.
[ there are a lot of things wrong with literally all of this. 1) he does not trust rose's grin? he now immediately links that facial expression to trouble. 2) he is in his personal space? which is like. no? this is suspicious???? THIS IS UNSAFE??
and then she mentions goddamn URSULA and karkat knows that whatever this is about, it's bad. because he and the ai do not get along and URSULA has plenty of shit on karkat. he needs to tread carefully here, get through this situation as smoothly as possible. ]
Why the flying fuck are you talking about me with her? Also. I don't care.
[ rose thought she could draw it out, make him real antsy. instead, she ends up caving point two seconds later, and her voice is so obnoxiously loud that anyone within hearing range should be able to very clearly hear what she is saying. also, she might have just risked shattering karkat's eardrums. he'll live. ]
I had no idea you were engaged to Dave Strider! Did you send out the wedding invitations yet? Because I get one, right?
[ fortunately, she then remembers to both release his shoulders and use her indoor voice again. she's still way up in his space though. ]
It almost brings a tear to my eye, knowing that you found someone who could come to love you so deeply despite your emotional immaturity, severe anger management issues, and petite stature.
[ karkat's hands immediately shoot out and covers rose's mouth. he looks around, trying to see if they're alone or not and once he makes sure there isn't anyone who is at least obviously in the vicinity, he... still does not lower his hands. but. ]
I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Also fuck you I do not have a petite stature you harpy
[ karkat for someone who supposedly have no clue what she's talking about you sure are acting mighty suspicious right now. especially since his face is red. ]
[ oh no. rose didn't expect him to be actually sort of (unfortunately) endearing when he goes red like that, but also, she does not appreciate two alien hands stifling her like this. rose tries to bite one hand (not too hard) to get him to back off before pressing a hand to his chest and pushing him away. wow, talk about an overreaction. ]
That was a pretty lame insult, even for you. Try harder next time.
[ but rose is smiling again half a second later. ]
So, are you going to give me deets or what? I can keep a secret, I swear, but I seriously could not pass this up. You. Dating. URSULA even mentioned true love. I was all, "Sorey and Mikleo need to hurry up and figure things out already," and then she mentioned Dave and Karkat, and I was like "What?!" I think I almost fainted on the spot!
[ rose u cannot keep a secret you goddamn liar.... but as karkat is completely unaware of this fact, he just huffs. and also wipes his hand on his pants after rose bit him? gross. ]
What the fuck? Why is the idea of me dating someone so hard to believe?
[ he's insulted? and... he isn't even going to deny it at this point because a) URSULA actually has proof and he is aware she has proof and b) this is the second time someone has mentioned sorey and mikleo as an item? the first being... URSULA... so karkat did not take that too seriously. but rose is saying they are??? he is Interested. ]
Because I didn't know you had a heart? I mean, I thought there was just a gaping black hole where a heart is supposed to be.
[ she's obviously kidding, judging by her genuine smile. it's kind of sweet? she has So Many questions, and so many answers to pull out of him. this'll take awhile. ]
Alright, I'll buy the fact that you aren't engaged. URSULA seems like she can get a little too excited and go overboard in the romance department. But, hey, congrats, Karkat! If you landed a boyfriend, then you aren't as inept in the relationship department as those two, and considering it's you we're talking about here, that's a huge feat. I should have brought a medal or something.
[ hmm. well, rose isn't stupid enough to think she'll get this for free. if she wants even the slightest chance (and that is likely extremely minuscule, but hey, 1% is better than 0%) then she's going to have to bargain for it.
rose is a merchant. she's good at bargaining.
something tells her karkat is sort of oblivious to the whole sorey and mikleo thing. just a little hunch. she still doesn't know what kind of relationship karkat has with them, either-- she's never asked them, but that being said, maybe she can use that? not at their expense, of course, but it seems like almost everyone has noticed, so what's the harm? ]
... 'Kay, so. What'll it take for me to hear about this? How 'bout I'll give you deets if you give me deets! Like, you know, where you met him, when you realized you liked him, who kissed who first...
[ YES, SHE IS VERY SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO SIT AROUND AND GOSSIP ABOUT (other people's, in rose's case) BOYFRIENDS. at this rate she might as well drag him to her room, grab some nail polish and a couple of pillows, and stay up all night. okay no that'd never happen but it's still a pretty hilarious mental image. ]
C'mon, we're friends, aren't we? Buddies? Pals?
[ she almost slings an arm around his shoulder, but holds back. pissing him off more will scare away her small, angry target. ]
You really got some nerve, you know that? Do you seriously expect me to just start gossiping with you after all of that?
[ he crosses his arms over his chest, looking annoyed.
... one second passes. then two. karkat then groans, and looks around again to make sure there isn't anyone else around. ]
Are Sorey and Mikleo really a thing?
[ yeah he really can't pass up on that gossip. he isn't too keen about talking about dave with rose but that honestly has less to do with rose and more of the fact he feels awkward talking about it even with his like, best friends on the base. ]
[ she'll give him a pass and go first. chances are he isn't gonna talk, period, but rose has a hard time resisting any sort of gossip in the first place. who is she to hold back. ]
Have you ever seen how touchy-feely they are all the time? The way they occasionally zone out and look at each other like, hello, nobody else is even in the room? How into trashy romance novels Sorey is? He and Mikleo read them together, you know. It's ridiculous. Mikleo is terrible at trying to pretend it isn't endearing, but he, like, gets super into it and everything. Their favorite genre is interspecies romance.
[ rose puts her hands on her hips and leans in, insistent on making a very clear point. ]
They sleep in the same bed, Karkat. They cuddle each other to sleep, like, spooning and everything. And this is just here! Don't even get me started on everything going on back home. It was just as terrible then, too, but it looks like they've really amped it up a notch. It drives me up the wall. The other seraphim and I used to make bets on how long it'd take them to get a clue and kiss already, but nope. Still nothing.
[ phew! that was a lot. rose practically has to catch her breath. ]
I'm pretty sure they're just... two halves of a whole person, that mushy stuff you read about in all those books. They know that, too. They also have never once considered that maybe this isn't quite how friendship works.
[ she would not sleep in the same bed as sorey. she would not want to do any single one of those things, honestly, and seriously, rose loves sorey to death. ]
So, again. Congrats. You are not the most socially inept person on this base! A minimum of two people have you beat.
I think you're more socially inept than all of us to be fucking honest.
[ but.... all of that is very romantic. extremely romantic? karkat would definitely read a book about this romance. also interspecies relationships are obviously a thing for him considering that he is... in one... maybe he should ask them about this?
although if neither of them realize they like each other yet, karkat is not sure he wants to be the one to accidentally reveal it... since he is not involved... BUT HE COULD BE INVOLVED... no he must chill and not be involved.... BUT HE COULD BE... ]
... They seriously sleep in the same bed and don't find that weird?
[ rose chooses to be relatively mature for once and ignore that insult. ]
They don't just sleep in the same bed. They spoon, Karkat. They spoon!
[ she just. shakes her head in relative disbelief, like she still hasn't wrapped her head around it. was this happening back when they were staying in inns, too? has it been that long? somebody help her. somebody help them. ]
They just need a little push. That's all. Seriously, there must be some sort of way to give them a reality check. They've been here awhile, right? I'm betting on Mikleo cracking first, with the right amount of prodding. It's just a matter of when and where.
[ she puts a finger to her lips in thought before smiling again. ]
And as his second closest friend, I've gotta be Sorey's wingman. It's just my job.
[ ... are sorey and mikleo's disaster of an affair the only thing rose and karkat have ever bonded over? yes. yes it is. ]
Just sit tight. It'll happen. Trust me on that one. To be honest, I never knew you'd care about something like this, but I'll even keep you updated.
[ karkat actually genuinely likes sorey and mikleo so of course he will want them to find #TrueLove and be happy together? he won't admit to that out loud, since feelings are gross, but still. also he is very nosy and likes sticking his nose in other people's business as long as they don't do the same to him
which is happening right now.
he scowls, setting aside his mental note to poke either sorey or mikleo about this later. mostly since like... it's one thing for rose and URSULA to say this but karkat kind of wants to confirm it for himself. PEOPLE CAN BE GOSSIPY AND WRONG, OKAY!! ]
Let me guess. The condition involves a Dave Strider.
[ karkat can investigate whatever he wants as long as he knows the meaning of the word subtle. then again, chances are that asking sorey whether or not they sleep together will get him little more than a shrug and a yeah, it's just more comfortable, why do you ask so....... so yeah. ]
You know what? Fuck it, I don't have to tell you shit. Not after all of the-- [ he just gestures, choosing not to verbally elaborate on what he means there.
honestly he is still kind of stuck on her being so surprised that he's in a relationship. ]
All you need to know is that yes, we're dating. The end.
[ karkat just makes a face STOP MENTIONING THAT HE'S SHORT why is everyone like this.....
and. at least he keeps the sorey and mikleo thing a secret? even though he does mention them but... at least he keeps the them being in love thing a secret... rip ]
Let's just pretend this conversation never happened.
[ until sorey and mikleo confess to each other because then karkat will want to know. ]
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Yo, Karkat! Just the person I wanted to see. C'mere a sec, I've gotta ask you something.
[ her good, dearest friend karkat. her pal. her amigo. rose leans in and completely invades his personal space with a leer, eyes practically sparkling. ]
So... I heard some juicy gossip. From URSULA. About you.
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and then she mentions goddamn URSULA and karkat knows that whatever this is about, it's bad. because he and the ai do not get along and URSULA has plenty of shit on karkat. he needs to tread carefully here, get through this situation as smoothly as possible. ]
Why the flying fuck are you talking about me with her? Also. I don't care.
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I had no idea you were engaged to Dave Strider! Did you send out the wedding invitations yet? Because I get one, right?
[ fortunately, she then remembers to both release his shoulders and use her indoor voice again. she's still way up in his space though. ]
It almost brings a tear to my eye, knowing that you found someone who could come to love you so deeply despite your emotional immaturity, severe anger management issues, and petite stature.
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I have no fucking clue what you're talking about. Also fuck you I do not have a petite stature you harpy
[ karkat for someone who supposedly have no clue what she's talking about you sure are acting mighty suspicious right now. especially since his face is red. ]
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That was a pretty lame insult, even for you. Try harder next time.
[ but rose is smiling again half a second later. ]
So, are you going to give me deets or what? I can keep a secret, I swear, but I seriously could not pass this up. You. Dating. URSULA even mentioned true love. I was all, "Sorey and Mikleo need to hurry up and figure things out already," and then she mentioned Dave and Karkat, and I was like "What?!" I think I almost fainted on the spot!
[ that's a total exaggeration but w/e. ]
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What the fuck? Why is the idea of me dating someone so hard to believe?
[ he's insulted? and... he isn't even going to deny it at this point because a) URSULA actually has proof and he is aware she has proof and b) this is the second time someone has mentioned sorey and mikleo as an item? the first being... URSULA... so karkat did not take that too seriously. but rose is saying they are??? he is Interested. ]
1/2
[ she's obviously kidding, judging by her genuine smile. it's kind of sweet? she has So Many questions, and so many answers to pull out of him. this'll take awhile. ]
Alright, I'll buy the fact that you aren't engaged. URSULA seems like she can get a little too excited and go overboard in the romance department. But, hey, congrats, Karkat! If you landed a boyfriend, then you aren't as inept in the relationship department as those two, and considering it's you we're talking about here, that's a huge feat. I should have brought a medal or something.
2/2
rose is a merchant. she's good at bargaining.
something tells her karkat is sort of oblivious to the whole sorey and mikleo thing. just a little hunch. she still doesn't know what kind of relationship karkat has with them, either-- she's never asked them, but that being said, maybe she can use that? not at their expense, of course, but it seems like almost everyone has noticed, so what's the harm? ]
... 'Kay, so. What'll it take for me to hear about this? How 'bout I'll give you deets if you give me deets! Like, you know, where you met him, when you realized you liked him, who kissed who first...
[ YES, SHE IS VERY SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO SIT AROUND AND GOSSIP ABOUT (other people's, in rose's case) BOYFRIENDS. at this rate she might as well drag him to her room, grab some nail polish and a couple of pillows, and stay up all night. okay no that'd never happen but it's still a pretty hilarious mental image. ]
C'mon, we're friends, aren't we? Buddies? Pals?
[ she almost slings an arm around his shoulder, but holds back. pissing him off more will scare away her small, angry target. ]
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[ he crosses his arms over his chest, looking annoyed.
... one second passes. then two. karkat then groans, and looks around again to make sure there isn't anyone else around. ]
Are Sorey and Mikleo really a thing?
[ yeah he really can't pass up on that gossip. he isn't too keen about talking about dave with rose but that honestly has less to do with rose and more of the fact he feels awkward talking about it even with his like, best friends on the base. ]
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Have you ever seen how touchy-feely they are all the time? The way they occasionally zone out and look at each other like, hello, nobody else is even in the room? How into trashy romance novels Sorey is? He and Mikleo read them together, you know. It's ridiculous. Mikleo is terrible at trying to pretend it isn't endearing, but he, like, gets super into it and everything. Their favorite genre is interspecies romance.
[ rose puts her hands on her hips and leans in, insistent on making a very clear point. ]
They sleep in the same bed, Karkat. They cuddle each other to sleep, like, spooning and everything. And this is just here! Don't even get me started on everything going on back home. It was just as terrible then, too, but it looks like they've really amped it up a notch. It drives me up the wall. The other seraphim and I used to make bets on how long it'd take them to get a clue and kiss already, but nope. Still nothing.
[ phew! that was a lot. rose practically has to catch her breath. ]
I'm pretty sure they're just... two halves of a whole person, that mushy stuff you read about in all those books. They know that, too. They also have never once considered that maybe this isn't quite how friendship works.
[ she would not sleep in the same bed as sorey. she would not want to do any single one of those things, honestly, and seriously, rose loves sorey to death. ]
So, again. Congrats. You are not the most socially inept person on this base! A minimum of two people have you beat.
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[ but.... all of that is very romantic. extremely romantic? karkat would definitely read a book about this romance. also interspecies relationships are obviously a thing for him considering that he is... in one... maybe he should ask them about this?
although if neither of them realize they like each other yet, karkat is not sure he wants to be the one to accidentally reveal it... since he is not involved... BUT HE COULD BE INVOLVED... no he must chill and not be involved.... BUT HE COULD BE... ]
... They seriously sleep in the same bed and don't find that weird?
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They don't just sleep in the same bed. They spoon, Karkat. They spoon!
[ she just. shakes her head in relative disbelief, like she still hasn't wrapped her head around it. was this happening back when they were staying in inns, too? has it been that long? somebody help her. somebody help them. ]
They just need a little push. That's all. Seriously, there must be some sort of way to give them a reality check. They've been here awhile, right? I'm betting on Mikleo cracking first, with the right amount of prodding. It's just a matter of when and where.
[ she puts a finger to her lips in thought before smiling again. ]
And as his second closest friend, I've gotta be Sorey's wingman. It's just my job.
[ ... are sorey and mikleo's disaster of an affair the only thing rose and karkat have ever bonded over? yes. yes it is. ]
Just sit tight. It'll happen. Trust me on that one. To be honest, I never knew you'd care about something like this, but I'll even keep you updated.
... On one condition, maybe.
[ SO HOW 'BOUT THAT STRIDER ]
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which is happening right now.
he scowls, setting aside his mental note to poke either sorey or mikleo about this later. mostly since like... it's one thing for rose and URSULA to say this but karkat kind of wants to confirm it for himself. PEOPLE CAN BE GOSSIPY AND WRONG, OKAY!! ]
Let me guess. The condition involves a Dave Strider.
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Ding ding ding! You're a good guesser.
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karkat looks embarrassed now that the line of conversation went back to him. ]
We knew each other before we came to this base, so...
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honestly he is still kind of stuck on her being so surprised that he's in a relationship. ]
All you need to know is that yes, we're dating. The end.
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Fine. I got it. Well, don't tell him about this, okay? Our little secret?
[ rose pauses before giving him a... pretty sheepish smile. maybe even a little guilty? ]
Should I apologize about all the stuff I said earlier about your petite stature? Obviously it can be endearing to some peo--
[ rose. stop. ]
You know what? O-Or I could just leave! Yeah. Good talk!
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and. at least he keeps the sorey and mikleo thing a secret? even though he does mention them but... at least he keeps the them being in love thing a secret... rip ]
Let's just pretend this conversation never happened.
[ until sorey and mikleo confess to each other because then karkat will want to know. ]
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