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I am willing to do anything to get him to like me again. If I have to stand twenty feet from him at all times and send messages via notes taped to Pele, then fucking sure, hand me a pen and a ruler that somehow extends twenty feet.
[ he doubts dave would ever actually require any of that but the point still stands. ]
[ he doubts dave would ever actually require any of that but the point still stands. ]
Pushing him is gonna push him away. He needs to sort his shit out and decide what he's able to do, and if he's able to do it without hurting you. I told you that weeks ago.
[and he's starting to think]
You need to sort your shit out, too. And figure out what you need, not just what you want or what you lost.
[it's clear Karkat wants Dave, with all the romantic notions both Karkat and Rin take as misinformed gospel; he thinks Dave is starting to understand what he himself needs, but Karkat's still flailing]
[and he's starting to think]
You need to sort your shit out, too. And figure out what you need, not just what you want or what you lost.
[it's clear Karkat wants Dave, with all the romantic notions both Karkat and Rin take as misinformed gospel; he thinks Dave is starting to understand what he himself needs, but Karkat's still flailing]
[ dave told karkat the same thing before, when they broke up, and again in their most recent conversation. one of the (many) problems with karkat though is that once he fixates on a particular thing, it's very, very difficult to get him to stop. he made the decision to give dave some space, but he's still so focused on fixing his relationship with the other teen that he isn't giving himself any. ]
I am sorting it out! Again, I am doing it right now.
I am sorting it out! Again, I am doing it right now.
No, you're re-reading texts from your ex-boyfriend trying to figure out where you fucked up, even though you didn't actually fuck up. That's the opposite of sorting your shit out. That's recycling your shit and reliving it, over and over.
[911 this is the bullshit police]
[911 this is the bullshit police]
Yeah. Next door neighbours -- they grew up together, from practically babies. I was the annoying transfer kid, when we were about 10.
[Rin shakes his head, not really sure why -- he feels uncomfortable. probably because the way Makoto and Haru work as friends is still kind of a mystery to him; he also doesn't quite know what Makoto needs. it seems like he's managing better than Rin, but who the hell knows?]
Makoto's different than me. He doesn't -- [cry] -- express what he's feeling, all that much. Plus I think he's more optimistic about what might have happened.
[Rin shakes his head, not really sure why -- he feels uncomfortable. probably because the way Makoto and Haru work as friends is still kind of a mystery to him; he also doesn't quite know what Makoto needs. it seems like he's managing better than Rin, but who the hell knows?]
Makoto's different than me. He doesn't -- [cry] -- express what he's feeling, all that much. Plus I think he's more optimistic about what might have happened.
Oh.
[ yeah karkat can't even begin to guess about this. almost all of his interactions with makoto have at least a hint of hostility in it, even if it's over something dumb like the tv remote. so thinking of the guy being genuinely upset like this is... hard... ]
Maybe he feels better because he has you? [ that's gay ]
[ yeah karkat can't even begin to guess about this. almost all of his interactions with makoto have at least a hint of hostility in it, even if it's over something dumb like the tv remote. so thinking of the guy being genuinely upset like this is... hard... ]
Maybe he feels better because he has you? [ that's gay ]
Karkat, you got dumped.
[this feels cruel, but also necessary]
There is no "this shit." You need to step back and give yourself time. Be with your friends. Take long fucking walks. Stop trying to change things about yourself make him happy, because what's going on with him is not your fault, and make your fucking self a priority.
[this feels cruel, but also necessary]
There is no "this shit." You need to step back and give yourself time. Be with your friends. Take long fucking walks. Stop trying to change things about yourself make him happy, because what's going on with him is not your fault, and make your fucking self a priority.
I just told you I spent the first couple days sneaking off to stare at the ocean and break down in front of our mutual friends. I don't know how much of a stellar job I'm doing.
[a huff of a sigh, and Rin leans back in the blankets. okay, he's starting to understand the physical aspect of this a little -- it is pretty cozy, sitting in all this fleece and fluff, if he ignores the stupid cover of New Moon near his left hand]
What's your deal with him, anyway?
[a huff of a sigh, and Rin leans back in the blankets. okay, he's starting to understand the physical aspect of this a little -- it is pretty cozy, sitting in all this fleece and fluff, if he ignores the stupid cover of New Moon near his left hand]
What's your deal with him, anyway?
[ well, ouch?
it's one thing for karkat to tell people he got dumped, but hearing that said to him is something else entirely. he almost hangs up, his finger hovering over the button to end the call, but stops himself. ]
I'm not-- I haven't changed anything about myself. I agreed to those terms because I thought it was worth it, and it still is. Even when all my other friends either died or decided they would rather hang out with someone else than me, he was there. It isn't... I don't regret giving up quadrants.
[ even if he needed rin as a moirail. he can't deny this hasn't been, well, a very positive influence and kind of what he needed, but he can dance around that fact. ]
I need to fix this. It's important.
it's one thing for karkat to tell people he got dumped, but hearing that said to him is something else entirely. he almost hangs up, his finger hovering over the button to end the call, but stops himself. ]
I'm not-- I haven't changed anything about myself. I agreed to those terms because I thought it was worth it, and it still is. Even when all my other friends either died or decided they would rather hang out with someone else than me, he was there. It isn't... I don't regret giving up quadrants.
[ even if he needed rin as a moirail. he can't deny this hasn't been, well, a very positive influence and kind of what he needed, but he can dance around that fact. ]
I need to fix this. It's important.
The same deal I have with everyone else.
[ it's not that karkat has it out for makoto or that there's really anything in particular that he really dislikes? they just don't get along, and normally that would be completely fine if rin wasn't a factor here. ]
[ it's not that karkat has it out for makoto or that there's really anything in particular that he really dislikes? they just don't get along, and normally that would be completely fine if rin wasn't a factor here. ]
I'm not talking about quadrants, idiot.
[the warmth in the words matches the cold snap of the ones preceding. he's hearing that Karkat feels indebted as much as he does grateful; that's not even ground, either]
You told me -- the other day, my room -- when you lose people, you hyper-focus. That whenever you get too invested, you fuck shit up. This is that moment, this is the decision you gotta make. Whether it's gonna be the same old bullshit, or you're gonna try something new.
[the warmth in the words matches the cold snap of the ones preceding. he's hearing that Karkat feels indebted as much as he does grateful; that's not even ground, either]
You told me -- the other day, my room -- when you lose people, you hyper-focus. That whenever you get too invested, you fuck shit up. This is that moment, this is the decision you gotta make. Whether it's gonna be the same old bullshit, or you're gonna try something new.
[that startles a snort out of him, followed by some chuckles]
What's your deal with me, then?
[he grins, thinking it's -- kind of funny. he never thought Karkat was anything but a fun person, really; Rin remembers getting into a stupid bet with him on the very first day they met, over something dumb. it's a good memory, and he can't recall thinking Karkat was the mean person he always makes himself out to be]
What's your deal with me, then?
[he grins, thinking it's -- kind of funny. he never thought Karkat was anything but a fun person, really; Rin remembers getting into a stupid bet with him on the very first day they met, over something dumb. it's a good memory, and he can't recall thinking Karkat was the mean person he always makes himself out to be]
Literally anything else but obsess over this.
[and Rin's no casanova, but he sure does know a thing or two about unproductive, unhealthy, pushy obsessions]
I can help you, the rest of your friends can help you. You need to let go some, and stop twisting yourself into knots over a situation you didn't cause and can't control. We'll take brisk fucking hikes through the wilderness. Play pranks on English. Learn to lasso birddogs. Remember what you're like when you're relaxed.
You'll be able to think clearer about everything for it. I promise. If I'm wrong, you can launch my legskins into outer space to get blasted apart by the pulse.
[and Rin's no casanova, but he sure does know a thing or two about unproductive, unhealthy, pushy obsessions]
I can help you, the rest of your friends can help you. You need to let go some, and stop twisting yourself into knots over a situation you didn't cause and can't control. We'll take brisk fucking hikes through the wilderness. Play pranks on English. Learn to lasso birddogs. Remember what you're like when you're relaxed.
You'll be able to think clearer about everything for it. I promise. If I'm wrong, you can launch my legskins into outer space to get blasted apart by the pulse.
[ he almost says he has no idea what he's like when he's relaxed, but that's not entirely true. also he doesn't want that to be another argument so he shuts his mouth there. ]
Okay, all of that sounds... well not all of that sounds nice, actually, who the fuck takes hikes? [ he knows rin does but seriously that's gross ] I still need to... not upset him further though?
Okay, all of that sounds... well not all of that sounds nice, actually, who the fuck takes hikes? [ he knows rin does but seriously that's gross ] I still need to... not upset him further though?
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