[ he still doesn't say anything to her, instead focusing on the back and forth conversation. he eventually slams the phone down on the table with all the grace of someone who is most definitely not a sore loser at all. karkat will accept this defeat humbly??
[She giggled.] I'm not about to tell you how I managed to get through the first trial, Karkat, no matter how hard you try. You'll have to get that from Yu.
[This was better than a day-time soap opera. She was enjoying every moment of this thoroughly. Taking another sip, she watched his reactions and grinned across the cup at him, like a cat with the cream. Getting flipped off just ... fit.]
Besides, it isn't as if we set rules, now is it? I believe you even gave me no timer for the first labour. Come now, Eurystheus, I believe the reward for this is my next task, yes? I certainly don't expect much more than that quite yet. Who will take the place of the Lernean Hydra in my quest to earn your favor?
[Yeah, this was going to go swimmingly. She was expecting a petty barb and an even pettier, harder task in 3... 2...]
[ okay, he can deal with this. he can handle it. just because SOME PEOPLE GODDAMN BETRAYED HIM doesn't mean that karkat cannot move on from this and regain ground here. he takes a deep breath
and then another
and is calm. this is fine? this is completely okay??? ignore the fact that he's twitching slightly. ]
Your next task is to get Kashuu Kiyomitsu to wear a certain hat. I'll send it to you later since I don't have it on me right now.
Naturally. That will give me time to make sure I know who this person is.
[She didn't, which meant that outright bribery or forcibly putting it on his head to snap a picture would almost certainly be involved in this particular prank. She was unphased, though. This sounded, on the surface, easier than the first task.
She suspected it wasn't. Grinning at him, she set down the cup and leaned back to steeple her fingers.]
I wonder what will happen if I ever accomplish the gargantuan task of completing all twelve of your labours, Karkat.
You won't ever find out because it's never going to goddamn happen, Chloe.
[ in all honesty, he was beginning to even forget this was a thing. karkat loves competition, but if he's waiting on other people to make the moves in it then he's more likely to get distracted by other shit. he probably shouldn't have said there's no time limit. ]
When you fail I accept apologies in the currency of kissing my dirt ass boots.
[On the upside, she was going to be a touch more aggressive this time. She was considering outright bribery to pull off the feat, once she had the hat.]
Oh, you are droll, aren't you? You really want a poor little florist groveling at your feet that badly, do you? [She winked.] Ah, but let me get you that cup of coffee. We wouldn't want to forget that, would we?
[She winked at him and got up, moving towards the counter and waiting for him. Such a surly boy he could be, but there was a certain amusement to it, honestly.]
[Free drink acquired and she smiled over at him while he placed the order, leaning against the counter and seemingly just in general amused.] You are far too entertaining for your own good, you know.
[She giggled at him, her lips pulled back in a bemused grin.] One of these days, you will realize that all my friends entertain me, in their own ways. You're fun to put up with, now and again.
[Though she was honest enough to admit that she couldn't take his headaches every single day.]
[She was having trouble not falling into laughter too.] Anyone who could manage to have such wonderful feline friends as you is not always so surly, Karkat. [She winked.] I am simply an acquired taste, that is all. Like the sprouts from brussels.
Everyone does at first. There's a wonderful special by Alton Brown on making them quite palatable. [...seriously, though, why did he do that? Why couldn't that man have left well enough alone.]
Huh. I figured you'd be more of the type to watch a lot of those really terribly acted action films where they punch holes through helicopters and shit with bad CGI.
[ don't ask how karkat reached this conclusion because he's not entirely sure either. ]
When I watch movies, they're usually spy thrillers actually. I watch cooking shows and the occasional spy show or cop drama. Those are always fun. [She chuckled.] Oh, and alien conspiracy shows. Blame Ryoga for that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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no he flips chloe off. ]
You cheated somehow. I know you did.
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[This was better than a day-time soap opera. She was enjoying every moment of this thoroughly. Taking another sip, she watched his reactions and grinned across the cup at him, like a cat with the cream. Getting flipped off just ... fit.]
Besides, it isn't as if we set rules, now is it? I believe you even gave me no timer for the first labour. Come now, Eurystheus, I believe the reward for this is my next task, yes? I certainly don't expect much more than that quite yet. Who will take the place of the Lernean Hydra in my quest to earn your favor?
[Yeah, this was going to go swimmingly. She was expecting a petty barb and an even pettier, harder task in 3... 2...]
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and then another
and is calm. this is fine? this is completely okay??? ignore the fact that he's twitching slightly. ]
Your next task is to get Kashuu Kiyomitsu to wear a certain hat. I'll send it to you later since I don't have it on me right now.
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[She didn't, which meant that outright bribery or forcibly putting it on his head to snap a picture would almost certainly be involved in this particular prank. She was unphased, though. This sounded, on the surface, easier than the first task.
She suspected it wasn't. Grinning at him, she set down the cup and leaned back to steeple her fingers.]
I wonder what will happen if I ever accomplish the gargantuan task of completing all twelve of your labours, Karkat.
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[ in all honesty, he was beginning to even forget this was a thing. karkat loves competition, but if he's waiting on other people to make the moves in it then he's more likely to get distracted by other shit. he probably shouldn't have said there's no time limit. ]
When you fail I accept apologies in the currency of kissing my dirt ass boots.
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Oh, you are droll, aren't you? You really want a poor little florist groveling at your feet that badly, do you? [She winked.] Ah, but let me get you that cup of coffee. We wouldn't want to forget that, would we?
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[ ignore the fact that they're here because of the bet that karkat willingly made. ]
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[She winked at him and got up, moving towards the counter and waiting for him. Such a surly boy he could be, but there was a certain amusement to it, honestly.]
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he lets her wait
because he's petty.
but, of course, karkat does eventually get up, since he cannot say no to a free drink. ]
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[ the poor barista. ]
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[Though she was honest enough to admit that she couldn't take his headaches every single day.]
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[ you can practically reach out and touch the sarcasm. ]
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[Ca-ching. There went the bill getting paid, and someone was about to have a fresh pot of joe.]
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[ yeah the person behind the register just had to pretend to sneeze in order to hide their laughter. ]
This is literally my personality.
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[ he doesn't eat vegetables in general. he's one of Those People. ]
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[ he should just drop the conversation, and yet, ]
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[It wasn't bad, at least. No teasing this time.]
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[ don't ask how karkat reached this conclusion because he's not entirely sure either. ]
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Ryoga was that weirdo who went on about punching walls right?
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The one with the cryptid fascination, yes. He has been off of the app for a while, but we used to talk sometimes, when he wasn't ranting too much.
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[ THE STORY OF KARKAT'S LIFE: everyone either hates him or finds him amusing. ]
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