[Rude Karkat?? But Jake is pretty happy waiting for him at the library and he has a big bag next to him which is sadly not a suspicious brown paper bag. But he did write the word "suspicious goods" on it, so.]
[Jake takes the bag and sets it in front of Karkat, pushing it forward.]
Here. Your graduation present. I'm sure you wouldn't consider us chums or real pals but... Well, I appreciated your help last month and you're fun to talk to, so! I thought you might appreciate this.
[Inside is a well-padded box containing a fancy beaded belt and matching tiara, along with a small framed document of authenticity that these are the original props from The Princess Bride.]
[Jake is loaded so he just did not think about things like money limits.]
Oh! Oh, golly, wow, I'm really tickled pink you like it so much! I debated between a few things but I thought, well, who doesn't love The Princess Bride?
[ listen he worked very hard to get that role, because it meant he would get a shit ton of scholarships, but also because he wanted to beat everyone else. i wish his reasoning was more noble, like a love for learning, but no. ]
It works even better since my birthday's in two days.
Ah, you've reached manhood! Finally ready to get some hair on your chest, eh? [Do trolls get hair on their chests though and do we really want to know.] Any plans for celebration?
No? [ why would he make plans, gosh. he has a feeling that anya might end up doing something for him though but he's not entirely sure about that so he won't say anything. ]
Well... That's up to you. But I think you should go out with a friend at least! It's not that eighteen is really any different but spending your birthday on your lonesome is never fun.
[Honestly this just makes Jake think of Karkat as like a kid you took to Burger King who put on one of the paper crowns and it's fucking adorable to him.]
They were a big to-do when I was a tyke. As I got older, I appreciated just doing a special day for myself or with a friend or two, though. Sort of a day to just relax and enjoy myself.
Oh, no. Horses are all right but I prefer dogs. I think the biggest present I received was... a rather famous chocolatier and vintner creating a special chocolate cake and wine pair for me using grapes harvested the year I was born. It was an incredible. My old man always said the rich don't buy items, they buy experiences. Um, that's actually why I chose what I did for you! It's hard to experience movies beyond watching them. But having a piece of them feels like it to me.
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but karkat will sit down next to him, look both ways, and then lean in to whisper, ]
This is stupid.
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I had to honour your suggestion.
[Jake takes the bag and sets it in front of Karkat, pushing it forward.]
Here. Your graduation present. I'm sure you wouldn't consider us chums or real pals but... Well, I appreciated your help last month and you're fun to talk to, so! I thought you might appreciate this.
[Inside is a well-padded box containing a fancy beaded belt and matching tiara, along with a small framed document of authenticity that these are the original props from The Princess Bride.]
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and then just stares at jake
and then he stares back at the gift
and back at jake
then back at the gift.
karkat. karkat may be crying a little?? his eyes are watering?? ]
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Oh, um— Gosh, are you okay?
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[ which is a little sad considering that he and jake aren't even close friends but. WHATEVER. ]
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Oh! Oh, golly, wow, I'm really tickled pink you like it so much! I debated between a few things but I thought, well, who doesn't love The Princess Bride?
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[ WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING RICH ]
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Um, Karkat? Was that too much to spend?
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[ he's breathing again at least, and he shouted that part.
he immediately hugs the bag though. ]
I'm not giving it back though by the way.
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Good, I wouldn't accept it! It's yours. I heard you got valedictorian, too, so you especially earned it.
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It works even better since my birthday's in two days.
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[ OFFICIALLY AN ADULT except he still cannot drink. not that he probably would cause he's a baby but, still. ]
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No? [ why would he make plans, gosh. he has a feeling that anya might end up doing something for him though but he's not entirely sure about that so he won't say anything. ]
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They weren't really a big deal to me growing up to be honest.
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They were a big to-do when I was a tyke. As I got older, I appreciated just doing a special day for myself or with a friend or two, though. Sort of a day to just relax and enjoy myself.
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This is a very important question, but did you ever receive a pony for your birthday?
[ since he's rich. ]
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Well. You also buy items.
[ karkat will fist fight jake's dad. ]