Like some big firewall we don't even know about? I'd believe it. Maybe they've put filters on all our stuff that replace things like "help me Retrospec is ruining my life" with "top ten workout routines that'll blow your mind!" or whatever.
[They're really unraveling the mysteries of Retrospec here. Jim's gonna come down out of the sky at any second to arrest them for being too smart.]
They'd probably make the routines really fucking stupid so not only will we get no help, but whoever reads the post will think we're the worst clickbait they have ever seen.
There's something extra evil about guys who won't even let us get away without small annoyances too, you know? Like how I'm sure Janet's probably the most evil person on staff but I hate Jim more just 'cause he's so annoying.
[Why... Why is he this way. At least he's honest, for what little that's worth??]
Honestly? Goddamn same. Janet could be the damn mastermind but as long as her personality is even a little better than Jim's she's still better than he is.
[ this is very backwards logic, but yeah. at least they're not hiding it? ]
[THIS IS THE WORST LOGIC Jim's probably either judging them, laughing, or both at the same time.]
They'd do a lot better if they actually hired a decent PR team. Like, just imagine if they had someone working there who didn't talk down at us like we're a bunch of idiots.
[Fair on Jim's part though honestly because they are a bunch of idiots.]
People would probably hate them slightly less. I mean, just slightly. I'd still hate them even if they had Betty White as their spokesperson, but I wouldn't have this burning need to punch Betty like I do with Jim.
[ ... maybe.
he doesn't think he'd punch betty white but it's hard to tell when you are not in that exact situation. ]
I could appreciate it if it wasn't being used to ruin our damn lives. If they want a pay on their backs then can bend their damn arms themselves to do it.
[ he's like || this close to writing retrospec an angry letter. ]
I wonder why the guy ended up with 'em, in that case. Who'd be that desperate?
[Then again, party satan himself offered to intern just to 1) cause chaos and 2) wreak havoc while info-digging, so he knows there are people out there.]
Yeah, that topic does kinda give people headaches, can confirm.
[He looked at Yamato's textbook once and almost died on the spot.
BUT now that he's thinking of his dingus roommate--]
I should probably get back home so I can introduce Yasu to our new friend, anyway. Thanks again, by the way - I promise I'll take good care of him.
[He'll also definitely end up keeping the kitty instead of fostering him and giving him back, because that was his plan all along and Yamato is Weak™.]
Yeah, see you. And you know you can bother me with any eventual cat questions that I know for a fact that you will have since, haha, fucking cats.
[ he'll also pack up some toys?? since he has A Lot, and also some cat food and stuff so kashuu won't have to run around screaming trying to figure this shit out right away. KARKAT IS SO KIND also he just likes cats. ]
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[They're really unraveling the mysteries of Retrospec here. Jim's gonna come down out of the sky at any second to arrest them for being too smart.]
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[ which seems like the worst part of it all. ]
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Like the big evils they stick us with aren't bad enough...
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[ you don't even know if they're actually doing these things that you're claiming they are. god. ]
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[Why... Why is he this way. At least he's honest, for what little that's worth??]
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[ this is very backwards logic, but yeah. at least they're not hiding it? ]
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They'd do a lot better if they actually hired a decent PR team. Like, just imagine if they had someone working there who didn't talk down at us like we're a bunch of idiots.
[Fair on Jim's part though honestly because they are a bunch of idiots.]
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[ ... maybe.
he doesn't think he'd punch betty white but it's hard to tell when you are not in that exact situation. ]
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Maybe they put Jim there on purpose, then... Looking at it like that, he takes the heat for literally everyone else.
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[ which would be brilliant if true... yet still annoying.
they're probably making this Too Deep. ]
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I hate to say it, but that in and of itself is a pretty solid PR technique. I mean, it's still a shitty one, but it's one that more or less works.
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[ he's like || this close to writing retrospec an angry letter. ]
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They probably pay their intern to cover stuff like that for them. ...Actually, assuming he gets paid is probably too much, huh.
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[ in all honesty, karkat is doubtful that they pay the employees? ]
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[Then again, party satan himself offered to intern just to 1) cause chaos and 2) wreak havoc while info-digging, so he knows there are people out there.]
—Well, whatever. Their choice.
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[ karkat would agree to intern for that. it means less classes he has to pay for?
... look, he's broke, he needs to penny pinch when he can. ]
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[Karkat please don't join an evil corporation to save some bucks DON'T BE MAURICE.]
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[ it's that one. ]
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[He only says this because Yamato is majoring in it...]
I guess that'd make sense?
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[ he has never taken a philosophy class in his life but it just seems like he kind of thing that he would end up despising. ]
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[He looked at Yamato's textbook once and almost died on the spot.
BUT now that he's thinking of his dingus roommate--]
I should probably get back home so I can introduce Yasu to our new friend, anyway. Thanks again, by the way - I promise I'll take good care of him.
[He'll also definitely end up keeping the kitty instead of fostering him and giving him back, because that was his plan all along and Yamato is Weak™.]
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[ he'll also pack up some toys?? since he has A Lot, and also some cat food and stuff so kashuu won't have to run around screaming trying to figure this shit out right away. KARKAT IS SO KIND also he just likes cats. ]