[Kashuu 100% wouldn't be surprised if they shot a gun in the woods with a chocobo and nothing came of it, but considering this is a sTOLEN CHOCOBO he also doesn't want to risk drawing attention to it...
BUT ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH like the race!!]
Go, go—!
[The race that V definitely doesn't understand because he's a dang chocobo. He's still standing at the starting line even as Kashuu starts off, but he notices quickly...]
Shut up, Kashuu, this just means that we're winning!
[ it's not really much of a win if the fastest contender hasn't even left the metaphorical gate. but karkat likes winning, even if it technically doesn't matter who wins since this is all for bingo.
We can't win fairly if he doesn't even know we're racing!
[IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL but here Kashuu is, arguing for the most idiotic part of any of this. Extra idiotic considering he's not stopping, either?! He's just kind of running backwards instead, trying to beckon V forward...]
V! Come here, I'll give you another treat!
[Well, that seems to get his attention... But it's still not a race so much as Kashuu getting bumrushed by a hungry chicken??]
[ karkat, being the loving and caring friend he is, slows down when he notices the predicament kashuu is.
lmao jk, he just starts laughing hysterically. but the laughter makes him miss a rock in his path so he ends up just tripping over it and eating dirt. ]
[Says Kashuu from the bushes, which is where he's been backed into thanks to his very hungry chocobo friend... He's also kind of half-shrieking and squirming around because BEES AND SPIDERS he hates this life.
To save himself and this square, he'll just sort of. Chuck the bar in the general direction of their finish line.]
[KARKAT PLEASE!! Though Kashuu's a little impressed by his drive to win... He, on the other hand, has apparently given up and is just carefully checking his jacket and hair for spiders after being freed from the bush.
V's made a mad dash to where the bar has landed and is currently gobbling it up SO CLOSE TO THE FINISH LINE... But because V is still hungry, he's now tromping over to check and see if Karkat has any hidden food in his hands, too.]
Holy fuck why is he coming after me now go away shoo shoo ugh jesus he's going to eat me.
[ karkat once again hastily gets to his feet, and starts running from v. who... unsurprisingly, just follows him. sadly, instead of running for the finish line, karkat is just sort of running around in circles.
[ guess who has already forgotten what they were doing due to the trauma of this event??
he snaps out of it quickly though, his head snapping towards where the bush is. right. that finish line. he change course and starts running towards it, tying his best not to get mobbed by the giant chicken on his heels.
and... finished! karkat wants to throw up that was too much running. ]
[Because V apparently lost interest to some degree in the chase and is mostly just tottering after Karkat, warking happily once he comes to a stop and fluffing up his feathers. Kashuu trots along after, not bothering to cross the line and claim bronze...]
Nice job, nice job. You look like you're gonna die though.
Just regular chocobo food! ...I think. I dunno, we kinda feed him a mix of what horses and chickens eat and he seems to like that. He likes cupcakes, too.
[It's a miracle V is still doing so well, probably... But no, they do take care of their big chicken. Amazingly.]
You made it, though! And you even won, so good work. [AT WHAT COST.] D'you need help with any other squares?
[ look, from karkat's perspective, just because he will Die For You™ does not mean he thinks it goes both ways unless told otherwise.
there's probably a lot of things regarding the memories he should actually share. it's one thing to just talk about thinking he's probably an alien, but it's another thing to discuss shit like finding the bodies of your dead friends. ]
It's all pretty boring. [ karkat you have horns how is that boring. ] But I'll keep it in mind. And uh... same... to you. [ CAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS...... ]
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[Because they'd all be Struggling otherwise...]
O-kay! To the rock! [LEADING V OVER.] We don't have a gun or anything for the race start, so let's go on three, okay?
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[ or maybe not. who knows, things have been weird lately.
after stopping at the starting line, he'll wait until everyone is settled. v probably still doesn't know what's going on but that's fine. ]
Right, so, uh... three. Two... one... go!
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BUT ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH like the race!!]
Go, go—!
[The race that V definitely doesn't understand because he's a dang chocobo. He's still standing at the starting line even as Kashuu starts off, but he notices quickly...]
Hey-- No, you come, too!
[V PLEASE.]
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[ it's not really much of a win if the fastest contender hasn't even left the metaphorical gate. but karkat likes winning, even if it technically doesn't matter who wins since this is all for bingo.
but seriously though karkat isn't stopping. ]
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[IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL but here Kashuu is, arguing for the most idiotic part of any of this. Extra idiotic considering he's not stopping, either?! He's just kind of running backwards instead, trying to beckon V forward...]
V! Come here, I'll give you another treat!
[Well, that seems to get his attention... But it's still not a race so much as Kashuu getting bumrushed by a hungry chicken??]
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lmao jk, he just starts laughing hysterically. but the laughter makes him miss a rock in his path so he ends up just tripping over it and eating dirt. ]
Fuuuuuck!
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[Says Kashuu from the bushes, which is where he's been backed into thanks to his very hungry chocobo friend... He's also kind of half-shrieking and squirming around because BEES AND SPIDERS he hates this life.
To save himself and this square, he'll just sort of. Chuck the bar in the general direction of their finish line.]
Go, V, go!
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[ he still wants to win? karkat tries to jump back to his feet, manages to run a bit, then immediately stumbles again.
is v going? is v going to win? ]
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[KARKAT PLEASE!! Though Kashuu's a little impressed by his drive to win... He, on the other hand, has apparently given up and is just carefully checking his jacket and hair for spiders after being freed from the bush.
V's made a mad dash to where the bar has landed and is currently gobbling it up SO CLOSE TO THE FINISH LINE... But because V is still hungry, he's now tromping over to check and see if Karkat has any hidden food in his hands, too.]
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[ karkat once again hastily gets to his feet, and starts running from v. who... unsurprisingly, just follows him. sadly, instead of running for the finish line, karkat is just sort of running around in circles.
this is the worst race of all time. ]
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Oh, come on--
[NOW HE'S JOINING THE CHASE but he's trying to helpfully wrangle V, at least.]
Show him your hands are empty!
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he's still running though, so this looks extra stupid. ]
So stop following me! I don't even taste good!
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Do something else—! [OH WAIT he knows how to salvage(???) this.] Go for the finish!
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[ guess who has already forgotten what they were doing due to the trauma of this event??
he snaps out of it quickly though, his head snapping towards where the bush is. right. that finish line. he change course and starts running towards it, tying his best not to get mobbed by the giant chicken on his heels.
and... finished! karkat wants to throw up that was too much running. ]
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[Because V apparently lost interest to some degree in the chase and is mostly just tottering after Karkat, warking happily once he comes to a stop and fluffing up his feathers. Kashuu trots along after, not bothering to cross the line and claim bronze...]
Nice job, nice job. You look like you're gonna die though.
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[ he places his hands on his knees and just takes a few seconds to catch his breath. ]
I hate bingo.
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[It's a miracle V is still doing so well, probably... But no, they do take care of their big chicken. Amazingly.]
You made it, though! And you even won, so good work. [AT WHAT COST.] D'you need help with any other squares?
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[ those are #awk to ask people to do with, so karkat has mostly just been avoiding them. ]
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[Hard same, Karkat. Hard same.]
I'm skipping out on the one that's on mine, but if you really wanna strike any of 'em out on yours, I could lend an ear.
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[ like... karkat is all for completing this card, but also, he has limits here. ]
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[A SOLEMN NOD... He does, he does. Though on a marginally more serious note--]
--If you do have things you need to air out, though, I can still lend an ear. Like, not just for bingo. 'Cause we're friends, y'know?
[EVEN IF APPARENTLY BOTH KARKAT AND BAREN DO NOT KNOW.]
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there's probably a lot of things regarding the memories he should actually share. it's one thing to just talk about thinking he's probably an alien, but it's another thing to discuss shit like finding the bodies of your dead friends. ]
It's all pretty boring. [ karkat you have horns how is that boring. ] But I'll keep it in mind. And uh... same... to you. [ CAUSE WE'RE FRIENDS...... ]
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Thanks! I don't wanna hold you up too much, though. Good luck finding some strangers to bingo with.
[He needs some of that luck too, good lord.]