[ Look. She is, she's super buff. She could punch a bear but that would be mean. ]
Nope. I was training in the forest with a cat! I think. Or we were there to talk to someone I knew who was training in the forest, but there was definitely a talking cat!
[ karkat has literally no room to judge here. his own memories are fucking stupid and, thus, he cannot think someone else's are without looking like a hypocrite.
and yet. ]
I see. [ he can't do this. ] And the talking cat, or the person who is acquaintances with this cat, trained you to go rescue this other person.
[ there really isn't one. he would say "see you later" but he is, again, already plotting to NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN so he won't have to relive how embarrassing this has been. he very clearly succeeds. this is their last ever conversation. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'm not going to hit you! Besides, I'm a lot stronger than I look, so I could do some serious damage.
[ She looks super buff, right? ]
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Are you.
[ he doesn't believe. ]
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[ She pumps her fists like a martial expert.
The kind you'd see in movies. ]
I saw myself training to rescue someone in my memories, too!
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What, were you weight lifting?
[ now he's just staring at her arms, as if the muscles he currently do not see will suddenly spring into life. ]
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Nope. I was training in the forest with a cat! I think. Or we were there to talk to someone I knew who was training in the forest, but there was definitely a talking cat!
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and yet. ]
I see. [ he can't do this. ] And the talking cat, or the person who is acquaintances with this cat, trained you to go rescue this other person.
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[ Sadly she's not entirely wrong even if she doesn't fully understand it. ]
I think it was the cat. But the point is I can be very scary and strong, you know!
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[ not for the same reasons she is implying, but he can't deny that. karkat lost like a year off his life from this conversation alone. ]
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[ Well, one of the reasons. The main one is she doesn't think he deserves it, but that's clearly not as convincing. ]
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Okay. Why don't we shake hands and you can squeeze mine a little harder than usual.
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...Um...will that make you feel better?
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It'll make me feel like things are even. So, sure.
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Okay.
[ Well, a hand shake isn't so bad. And she can show off her amazing strength. (Haha.) So she holds her hand out. ]
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and he will take her hand in his for this very important handshake. they probably look pretty ridiculous to anyone else nearby at this point. ]
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That one bat is still watching intently, though. Does that count?
But once he takes her hand, Orihime squeezes. SEE? BUFF! ]
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[ with his free hand, he just... points at the bat. ]
Orihime. It's still fucking there.
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[ Orihime looks up and--
--the bat just chirps. ]
Oh...
[ She'll let go of Karkat's hand so she can pull a little on her own hair. ]
Um, can I have this back, please?
[ The bat looks a little dejected, but does finally release that tendril. ]
Thank you!
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[ he sounds both impressed and bewildered. why the fuck does mistletoe like to chew on hair, it doesn't make any sense.
not like any of this does. ]
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Well! It looks like they'll make it out of this with some of their dignity still intact. ]
Is your hand okay?
[ Because, you know. So strong. ]
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You managed not to break it. I am so gracious of your gentle care.
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[ No injuries here, not on her watch. ]
I guess I should get back to shopping.
[ There's no not awkward way to end this, is there? ]
...It was nice meeting you!
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[ there really isn't one. he would say "see you later" but he is, again, already plotting to NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN so he won't have to relive how embarrassing this has been. he very clearly succeeds. this is their last ever conversation. ]