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[alienates]

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[alienates]

WOW, I AM GLAD YOU THAT STOPPED.
THERE IS ALWAYS A SILVER LINING TO EVERY SHITFEST, I GUESS.
DAVE STRIDER: ACTUALLY STOPPED DOING SOMETHING STUPID AT HIS OWN VOLITION FOR ONCE.
GLAD TO KNOW THAT SOME THINGS CHANGE.

I HATE YOU SO MUCH.

[parodeity]

you can join a club for that i think

anyway
im gonna ask rose to help me

[alienates]

IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH.
YOU'LL ACTUALLY TRY, RIGHT?
AND NOT JUST SAY THAT YOU'RE TRYING WITHOUT ACTUALLY MEANING IT?
AGAIN.

[parodeity]

i was trying
but i dont think i can manage this alone

[alienates]

YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING IT ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I KEEP TELLING YOU, AND I'M SURE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TOO, THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY ALONE ANYMORE, DUDE.
AND WHILE DIRK IS PROBABLY AS EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AS YOU ARE AT LEAST HE'S BEEN GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR HELP ON THIS MATTER.
I KNOW THAT "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER" IS CLICHE AND ALSO YOU PROBABLY FELL ASLEEP DURING THOSE MOVIES TOO?
I LOST TRACK OF ALL THE ONES YOU ACTUALLY MANAGED TO REMAIN CONSCIOUS FOR.
BUT ANYWAY I'M GLAD THAT YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO TAP INTO THE BEST RESOURCE YOU HAVE IMO.
PROBABLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN KNOCK EVEN A LITTLE SENSE INTO THAT THINK PAN OF YOURS.

[parodeity]

shes not the only person or the best resource
you exist too
but in this case
i think
i actually might need what rose has been trying to sell me for half our goddamn lives

[alienates]

LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES.
OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT I'M NOT THAT MUCH OF A DICK TO DEMAND THAT.
BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK IT HELPED AFTERWARD?

[parodeity]

ill text you as soon as were done
so far not so good even though she hasnt shown up yet
but i might have thrown up a little from nerves or something

ill tell you eventually
if i dont fuck this one up
and also dont immediately kill myself after

[alienates]

YOU CAN'T KILL YOURSELF.
I ALREADY PLANNED OUT THAT I'M DYING FIRST AND AM LEAVING YOU MY ALL OF MY FIVE BELONGINGS.
INCLUDING THIS REALLY COOL CRAB THING I FOUND IN THE OCEAN RECENTLY. IT'S FUCKING AWESOME.

[ it's a giant crab plushie. ]

BUT OK.
TRY NOT TO VOMIT AGAIN?

[parodeity]

dude you cant die before you propose

also i want to hug that

[alienates]

I CAN DIE WHENEVER I WANT, YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME.
ALSO I NEED TO WAIT FOR THINGS TO CALM DOWN BEFORE PROPOSING?
THAT IS STILL A THING THAT'S HAPPENING EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

YOU CAN GET ONE HUG IF YOU COME BACK AND HAVEN'T BEEN MAIMED BY YOUR FRIENDS.

[parodeity]

you cant even hold my hand in public
kinda hard to buy the proposal angle dude

k
also idk how long the strilonde talk will take but if were gonna be gone for the night ill let you know via text

[alienates]

I DON'T HAVE TO PROPOSE TO YOU IN PUBLIC, DAVE.

UGH OK.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE GONE FOR THAT LONG REMEMBER TO GODDAMN EAT YOU IMBECILE.

[parodeity]

yeah but a secret engagement would make us into one of rose and kanayas bookclub books
do you really want that
wait shit of course you do

i brought snacks for rose chill

[alienates]

DON'T PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH, STRIDER.
I DID NOT AGREE TO THAT BEING A THING THAT I WANT.
WHEN DID I GIVE THAT IMPRESSION?

DO YOU MEAN YOU BROUGHT IT SPECIFICALLY FOR HER OR FOR YOUR TIME WITH HER?

[parodeity]

im pretty sure you read the same books as them babe

obviously the former but if i feel less nauseous later i promise to eat something

[alienates]

DON'T BE FUCKING RIDICULOUS.
I HAVE BETTER TASTE THAN THEM?
ALSO ROSE READS THOSE OTHER BOOKS. YOU KNOW THE ONES.
THE REALLY WEIRD ONES.

YOU FUCKING BETTER.
ALTHOUGH I FEEL LIKE ROSE WOULD FORCE YOU TO DO SO EITHER WAY, SO I'M NOT TOO CONCERNED ABOUT THAT.