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[alienates]

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[alienates]

JEGUS FUCK.
OK!!
BABE.
B A B E.
FUCKING BABE.
WOW BABE IS SUCH A GREAT NAME???

[parodeity]

wait i take it back
i like calling you the other things too
darling and sweetheart or whatever
ive decided i dont need your permission

[alienates]

THAT WASN'T THE DEAL, STRIDER!
WHAT IF I STARTED CALLING YOU THOSE THINGS?
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT??

[parodeity]

id be ok with it

[alienates]

YOU ARE SO FUCKING EMBARRASSING?
OH MY GOD.
I CAN'T JUST CALL YOU... DARLING?

[parodeity]

yeah i know
but like
idk

if you ever wanted to its ok with me
and if you ever want us to like
stop skulking around that is also ok
but its also ok if we keep doing this and you call me asshole instead
i know you love me despite the constant insults

[alienates]

I'LL CALL YOU AN ASSHOLE NO MATTER WHAT.
IT'S WHAT YOU ARE?
ALSO WE DO NOT SKULK AROUND.
I JUST
I MEAN, YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU RIGHT?
I'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU OR ANYTHING.
EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE CONSIDERING YOU HAVE SHITTY AS FUCK TASTE?
YET I FORGIVE THAT ABOUT YOU ANYWAY.

[parodeity]

babe chill
i know you love me and i know its not a shame thing
i know why its a thing that is a thing
and i can outwait you on it

[alienates]

I'M JUST MAKING SURE.
BUT OK HOW'S THIS?
YOU CAN... HOLD MY HAND.
OUTSIDE OF MY ROOM.

[parodeity]

uh wait
you mean like around other people
dude you cant make that offer unless you are willing to make the offer we know you dont wanna make yet

[alienates]

OK BUT MAYBE WE CAN LIKE
HOLD HANDS UNDER A TABLE OR SOMETHING?
I AM TRYING TO COMPROMISE HERE?
I KNOW YOU WANT TO DO IT.
I CAN SEE IT IN YOUR SHADES.

[parodeity]

kitkat
its seriously ok
we dont need to compromise on it because i am legitimately fine with waiting on this
youve waited for me on heavier shit than being ok with telling people were dating
it goes both ways

[alienates]

OK BUT GET THIS FOR EXAMPLE
WHAT IF SOMEONE CAME UP TO YOU ALL, "HEY DAVE, I WANT TO DATE YOU AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH BEING OUT IN THE OPEN ABOUT IT AND WITH HAND HOLDING."
THAT SEEMS LIKE A VERY TEMPTING OFFER THAT I AM SURE A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD TAKE?

[parodeity]

are you in your room
if not get to your room

[alienates]

UH.
ALRIGHT I'M GOING TO MY ROOM THEN?

[parodeity]

k ill meet you there
this seems like a conversation we should have in person

[alienates]

[ and a few minutes later after somehow surviving the base's hallways, he will be entering his room. [

[parodeity]

[ since karkat was apparently unwise enough to give dave access to his room via handprint, dave's already sitting on the bed that. probably exists. i guess. ]

Ok so first things first my obvious response to the hey Dave I want to date you thing would be I am already dating someone?

[ may as well LEAP INTO IT ]

[alienates]

Oh. Well, I guess that could be a possible outcome of that hypothetical scenario I brought up.

[ this was a lot easier through text tbh. ]

But what if... this person was really cute?

[parodeity]

[ ok. he will reach out to grab karkat around the waist and drag him down to flop on the bed with him? ]

Karkat. I'm not going to dump you for someone else? But like, I get you don't believe that and like I said, I can outwait you on this 'till you do.

[ surely eventually karkat will notice the dumping has still not occurred? ]

You're cute? I love you. So, like, I'm not going to call it quits.

[alienates]

Ugh, okay? I guess.

[ he will not fight getting dragged onto the bed and will just. shift to be more comfortable. ]

But like, if you ever decide to make sure to tell me first? And not like, disappear to hang out with some new species of alien fish or whatever.

[parodeity]

I would tell you. [ but he doesn't...want to? like. he can't picture breaking up
with karkat. it's not a thing he actually wants to do. even when they're arguing, it's rarely serious. ]

But someday you're going to have to accept that I'm not going to disappear on you permanently, or pick someone else, or whatever else. And then we can actually, like, tell people, presumably.

[alienates]

I did offer to let you hold my hand, jackass.

[ under the cover of darkness, but.

he does not actually respond to actual things dave said though, and instead just kisses him on the cheek. ]

i mean dave would have had to crack a joke so

[parodeity]

[ dave didn't really expect him to respond to that shit. one of his arms is still slung around karkat's waist, but he reaches up with his other hand to thumb karkat's cheek, kind of frowning. ]

I know you did. But I'll wait? You've waited on a lot of shit from me. I can wait for this.

i can't believe i pulled a shits over to dave

[alienates]

[ there is a long pause before karkat says anything, but then he sort of mumbles (which is, you know, still audible since karkat but), ]

I told URSULA we were getting married because I didn't want her shipping you with someone else if I denied we were a thing?

[ he sounds pretty mortified to be admitting it. ]