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[alienates]

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[alienates]

[ ]

[gnasher]

is that the one you got?

[alienates]

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON WHO FITS THAT DESCRIPTION.
AND IT IS YOU.

[gnasher]

[wherever Karkat is, a drone whizzes up to him, delivering a medal for Karkat to have, all his own]

[]

[alienates]

[ karkat angrily shoves it into his mouth, chews on it for a bit... that's a lot of chewing... oh god, it's making him gag. he spits it out.

so spitefully eating it did not work out. ]

NICE AWARE YOU HAVE THERE.
YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO PROUD OF IT THOUGH, TO BE SHOWING IT OFF LIKE THIS.
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT BEING HUMBLE?

[gnasher]

you never answered me on the swimming thing.

[alienates]

FINE I GUESS.
SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY WANT MY ATTENTION SO BADLY.
I SHOULD BE KIND ENOUG TO GIVE IT TO MY ADORING PUBLIC.

[gnasher]

i was joking. what do you think i do, swim all day? seriously? jeez, you want to hang out that bad?

[alienates]

*PLEASE.*
YOU HAVE BASICALLY IMPRINTED ON ME, RIN.
DON'T TRY TO TURN THIS THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

[gnasher]

[trolling has turned to him being embarrassed, like it typically does]

humans don't imprint, baby ducklings do. and maybe baby trolls, looks like.

[alienates]

I THOUGHT WE ALREADY REACHED THE CONCLUSION THAT YOU'RE LIKE.
HALF TROLL, SOMEHOW.
AND APPARENTLY HALF BABY DUCKLING I GUESS.

[gnasher]

what? wait, shut up, i can't tell if you're joking on text. i'm not half troll?

[gnasher]

and you can't have three halves what the fuck

[alienates]

WELL GUESS WHAT?
NOW YOU CAN.
WE'RE ON A NEW PLANET, THEY DON'T HAVE A SET SYSTEM OF MEASUREMENT HERE YET.
AND I JUST DECIDED THAT FROM NOW ON, THERE ARE THREE HALVES.
WHO'S GONNA STOP ME? A FUCKING REAPER?

[gnasher]

maybe they think math is important and you'll get eaten next time you go out spewing shitty fractions across the ocean

[alienates]

REAPERS DO NOT EVEN HAVE ARMS.
HOW WILL THEY DO THEIR CALCULATIONS WHEN THEY CAN'T EVEN HOLD A PENCIL.

[gnasher]

MENTAL MATH

I'M NOT HALF TROLL

[alienates]

WAIT.
IS THERE A PROBLEM WITH BEING HALF TROLL?

[gnasher]

is there a problem if i'm just a human

[a h]

[alienates]

HEY, I'M THE ONE WITH A LOT OF HUMAN FRIENDS.
AND YOU KNOW LIKE, WHAT?
TWO TROLLS?
I DUNNO, THAT SEEMS KIND OF SUSPECT.

[gnasher]

don't pull that 'a lot of my friends are humans' thing

[gnasher]

if you're only talking to me cuz you think i'm half troll for whatever reason, i'm calling you out on it.

[alienates]

IF I ONLY SPOKE TO YOU BECAUSE OF THAT THEN I'D LITERALLY ONLY BE TALKING TO LIKE, WHAT?
TWO OTHER PEOPLE ON BASE.
I HOPE YOUR OPINION OF ME REALLY ISN'T *THAT* LOW.
I MEAN, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF IT WAS SINCE EVERYONE'S IS BUT STILL.

[gnasher]

[is this self esteem limbo]

what? no. no one has a low opinion of you, either, that i've seen.

[alienates]

[ listen. karkat is either complimenting himself or insulting himself, there is never any middle ground ever. ]

HA.
HA HA HA.
THAT'S A GOOD ONE.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ALSO A COMEDIAN ON TOP OF THAT WHOLE SWIMMING DEAL?