[a hand slams the door wider, and .2 seconds later Karkat's world is brought down to the floor and becomes full of red hair and obnoxious, huffing laughter]
Seriously? Who opens it --
[he's losing it, and also trying to get Karkat's head into the vicinity of his armpit]
ok. there is only one way karkat can turn this around, and that's by fucking cheating. and luckily for him, he is dating the biggest cheater ever so he has picked up on some tips.
so now a giant crab plushie is popping out of his sylladex and falling down right on rin's head. ]
[the sudden assault distracts him long enough for his hold on Karkat to loosen, as one hand jerks up to shield himself from the unexpected crabby plush claws]
[the gauge on Rin's life has just gone from Fairly Normal to Way Too Many Crabs; he's rolling onto his back, trying to get some distance from Crab #1, when Crab #2 attaches himself to his head]
[through a mouthful of shirt;]
Wha'thafuh --
[what is the end game here? win a wrestle through sheer confusion? well, sonny jim, you're about to be a laudable champion, if that's the case. one more trial awaits -- Rin tries to grab onto some part of Karkat, but there's only back and pants. that'll do; attempts to give Karkat a wedgie]
[(hello, he's the antagonist, of course he'd stoop there)]
karkat lets go because... wedgies are painful... he flails though, so he might have just accidentally kicked rin somewhere? hopefully not his face. that might hurt. ]
[yeah no that was right in his chin, which causes him to violently gnash down on his own bottom lip (get it? gnasher?), which -- is typically a terrible happenstance in Rin's case, overall]
Shit -- !
[releases Karkat's pants after one last wedge of that wedgie, turning his head to the side and covering his mouth with his hands. he knows what's happened is officially embarrassing, though maybe finally in his opponent's case, relatable]
[just gonna cover that blood gush with his other hand, be real casual about it. his voice is muffled and little garbled with the leaking issue happening, but it's fine. this is fine. ignore how red his face is getting]
[let's just complain]
Your knees are so pointy, it's like you're made of knives, what the hell?
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Seriously? Who opens it --
[he's losing it, and also trying to get Karkat's head into the vicinity of his armpit]
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rin now has one [1] flailing karkat in his hands. it's not his fault he is gullible, okay??? ]
Let me! The fuck! Go!
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[Rin tries to pin one of those stupid flailing arms, or at least contain them, but he's still laughing a bit too hard]
It's like you were walking -- ahaha -- around the haunted house, and heard a sound, and went alone to look --
[trying to flip him down onto the floor like a crab now]
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Rin I am going to shove my foot so far up your nook that you will have bring about a new meaning of having the runs.
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[1, 2, 3 -- attempted flip]
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karkat is going to attempt to bite him because fuck u rin ]
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Ah-ah, not today.
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[ KARKAT HOW CAN YOU BEAT RIN UP IF YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS..... ]
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[which is unlikely. enjoy a shark settling onto your lungs]
To be honest I already forgot why I was offended.
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[ ATTEMPTS TO. SHOVE RIN OFF. ]
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[seems like he's settling in for the moment, swatting at the shoving]
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[ he is now attempting to roll over.... ]
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It wouldn't surprise me if my muscles needed their own classification in troll.
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[ lmao jk karkat loves rin's muscles <3 ]
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There's no "trying" about it, the results of my hard work are evident.
[like so; puts Karkat in another headlock]
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karkat is going to attempt to... kick up... the lower half of his body.... so that his legs wrap around some part of rin that is closest.....
and probably end up breaking his back or something in the process KARKAT YOU ARE NOT A GYMNAST....................... ]
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[but this is going to get boring if he's always able to down Karkat with a single chokehold]
You're supposed to drop your head and round your shoulders, oi, then go for my ribs. Doing this just makes it easier for me to do --
[continues stretching Karkat like the gymnast he is not]
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ok. there is only one way karkat can turn this around, and that's by fucking cheating. and luckily for him, he is dating the biggest cheater ever so he has picked up on some tips.
so now a giant crab plushie is popping out of his sylladex and falling down right on rin's head. ]
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[CRAB'D]
[the sudden assault distracts him long enough for his hold on Karkat to loosen, as one hand jerks up to shield himself from the unexpected crabby plush claws]
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karkat uses this opportunity to do the smart thing, which is quickly scramble around and escape.
lol just kidding, he does the first part and then just fucking koala clings to rin's head like a facehugger from alien. ]
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[through a mouthful of shirt;]
Wha'thafuh --
[what is the end game here? win a wrestle through sheer confusion? well, sonny jim, you're about to be a laudable champion, if that's the case. one more trial awaits -- Rin tries to grab onto some part of Karkat, but there's only back and pants. that'll do; attempts to give Karkat a wedgie]
[(hello, he's the antagonist, of course he'd stoop there)]
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karkat lets go because... wedgies are painful... he flails though, so he might have just accidentally kicked rin somewhere? hopefully not his face. that might hurt. ]
You fucker!
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Shit -- !
[releases Karkat's pants after one last wedge of that wedgie, turning his head to the side and covering his mouth with his hands. he knows what's happened is officially embarrassing, though maybe finally in his opponent's case, relatable]
Hold up, time out --
[aaand there comes the blood through his fingers]
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he needs to readjust his wedgie, which is embarrassing on its own, so he doesn't notice rin is bleeding at first. ]
You stupid assh-- oh. [ yeah that is blood. karkat shifts uncomfortably. ]
Shit.
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[just gonna cover that blood gush with his other hand, be real casual about it. his voice is muffled and little garbled with the leaking issue happening, but it's fine. this is fine. ignore how red his face is getting]
[let's just complain]
Your knees are so pointy, it's like you're made of knives, what the hell?
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