[ honestly... this actually was a lot easier to talk about when they aren't in person. at least then when there is a delay in his responses he can come up with excuses?? that luxury is not here now though. ]
I am slightly worried that you-- Dave, I mean. That you actually do want to no longer be a thing but you don't want to hurt my feelings so you're just going along with this relationship? Since it'll be less painful than just ending it, I guess.
[ rose be biased towards dave not against him...he...knows that's probably not gonna happen, fuck. dave...does not move to take off his shades, and continues to hold the glass of juice. right. ]
Idk if I would call that less painful? Than just ending it. But I already said I don't want to break up.
[ he opens his mouth, closes it, and then. just repeats the process a few times, apparently uncertain of what to say...next.
he glances at rose like she'll have an answer, but. ]
We just can't make ourselves want shit we don't want? That's...all. Why the hell is this opinion getting an intervention, oh my god.
[ technically rose's main bias is wanting dave to be happy, but she's also. technically on karkat's side? but isn't. so she's clearly, completely neutral, clearly, ]
This isn't an intervention. If it were, it'd be about your apple juice addiction.
[ that's all she adds to that KEEP TALKING, BOYS. ]
[ karkat agrees that does indeed deserve an intervention... probably at a later time. ]
Okay but like I said before I have no idea what you actually want because you get all. Dave about literally every topic that might lead into an actual serious argument?
I do not have an aj problem. [ TO ROSE, BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT.
...
so is the other part, but dave is. still not sure what the fuck to say. ]
I want to drop the topic? I... [ hate talking about shit and he's still edging closer to rose like she isn't going to just distance herself to play mediator again. after a second he stops attempting that and hunches his shoulders forward as he continues not wanting to talk.
he captchas the juice and crosses his arms instead, uneasy, and settles his gaze somewhere on the floor. rose's shoes. her absurd blue godtier shoes. ]
I don't think this argument has an endin' either of us is willin' to entertain and a deadlock's the best we're gettin'. Okay? I'm not happy, whatever, but I'll be less happy with literally every proposed solution we've come up with. Whatever perfect sunshiney happiness I assume y'all are considerin' "issue settled" is not actually an option in this equation, so can we stop discussin' it? I can deal with my bullshit feelings but I cannot deal with constantly talkin' about 'em.
Issue settled doesn't mean "perfect sunshiney happiness", necessarily, it means issue settled. Which it clearly isn't, since you're being obstinate about it, Dave. Sweeping an issue under the rug only prolongs your own torture of it being repeatedly brought up, it does not make it fine or settled or solved.
[ okay that was a little more attack-y than she meant to get but she wants the best for dave (and heck, the best for karkat too), and the best is not an unhappy stalemate, no matter what dave claims.
and as a further meddling sidenote, ]
And frankly, we know you can't just "deal" with your "bullshit" feelings-- which aren't bullshit, by the way. Feelings aren't bullshit.
[ karkat opens his mouth to argue that feelings can indeed be bullshit
and then shuts it when he realizes he would be.... ARGUING AGAINST HIS CASE THERE.... he will let this one go. ]
Also I have offered to entertain it? I was completely ready to start pulling out those long eared mammals out of hats while whistling show tunes for it. [ rabbits. he means rabbits. ] But you said no. Again. Like fucking always.
[ he's starting to wonder if going to rose was a bad idea even though technically rose came to him. but if rose flat out meddling (sorry, mediating) doesn't work then karkat isn't sure if anything will? and dave literally just flat out admitted he isn't happy!! which is something he has implied before but then danced around when called out on it, so. that's progress, or something but.
why. ]
I don't want to keep talking about this subject forever and I doubt Rose wants to keep hearing about our incredibly embarrassing relationship issues. At least, I hope not? Anyway. It's not like I enjoy beating this deceased hoofbeast over and over again. I am ready to give the damn thing a corpse party but... [ he glances at rose then back at dave. ] I feel like this is going to explode violently in our faces if we don't deal with it.
[ and be uncomfortable and unhappy and just do it for dave and he's done so many things for bro he kind of hates the notion. his shoulders hunch more and dave considers what to say but it's always easier to run and if he can't run -
he can give in. that's an option still. his mouth's in a thin line and he's still looking at the floor, but. okay. absconding never worked with bro, its not gonna work here, so the next best thing is to shut up and take it and this is probably not an analogy he should be using in any situation, but - okay. ]
Fine. [ public or not, secret or not. the problem kind of is that he genuinely doesn't want what karkat's offering and he knows he can't actually be offered what he wants, which is...dropping it or magically not wanting anything but what has. but okay. right. surrender is an option. ] Pull rabbits out of hats if you want to.
[ he forces a smile, but it's directed at. the floor. ]
You both think this is the best option.
[ okay, look up, but don't look at rose. dave uncrosses his arms and jams his hands in his pockets, raising an eyebrow. ]
[ karkat glances between rose and dave, frowning. because... dave's whole demeanor is Wrong, from his posture to his tone and karkat can only really tell because of that grossly sappy intimate way a person would know someone they're dating. ]
Or are you agreeing to... [ what is he agreeing to. karkat scratches his head, not sure how to proceed here since he wasn't actually expecting dave to say anything but no?? ] If I say I want to go public, you'll just go with it?
[ the smile becomes more genuine in an entirely false way as he forces it Better. he is still not looking at rose because he has absolutely no desire to try to out bullshit rose lalonde so he is just. banking on her being confused. and believing him because this is more or less what he implied he wanted since he didn't even actually explain it to her. oops. ]
Yeah. If that's what you want, we'll do that.
[ he will in no way be happy about it but that's okay since he wasn't happy...anyway...and is willing to be. even less happy. the issue is that he isn't happy and every solution makes him Progressively Less Happy but he's been absolutely terrible at conveying that to the point where he's starting to think maybe this is part of the being fucked up by bro and not understanding something normal people are ok with thing or something so we're just going with it. all his "can we not do x" requests are too stubborn so he should just. do x. ]
rose is just. confused. since when does dave just accept things?? since when is anything easy. this sounds illegal. does she just accept this or. squints. intense squinting. would dave just agree to something that easily? she expected they'd be here a lot longer.
she does notice he isn't looking at her even with his last statement, though, but isn't sure if making a big deal out of it would be her over-psychoanalyzing or. ]
No. [ said slowly, drawn out. ] If that settlement pleases both parties, then as a mediator I would be bound to accept it.
[ karkat is currently having the same problem as rose... as in, he can't tell if he is currently being a #worrywart or not? damn you dave, and actually... being a good fucking actor, what the hell. but as he does not know what is being said in rose's meta text, he can only believe that she thinks dave is being legit? since she didn't call him out on anything??? ]
I... guess?
[ he sounds confused because what just happened. ]
[ he continues to focus solely on karkat because he doesn't want to look at rose she's extremely good at reading him and that "no" was a little too long. for a moment he feels like they're thirteen again and she's making comments about bro or puppets or something and he's playing her off like he did. every single day back then. rose lalonde always wins but it took him sixteen years to admit she was right and she hadn't been able to confirm whether or not he was lying until then.
...which. actually makes him hesitate for a split second because he'd told her everything except the details of what he's feeling about all of this in exact terms, and that's why he's getting away with it. if he actually commits to this lie, he'll be committing to not telling rose the truth again. he actually kind of liked telling her the truth about shit? it wasn't easy but it was...nice. after a lifetime of lying to her face.
would she be disappointed or mad or sad or what? it's hard to predict. this time he does slant his gaze over towards rose though it's. hard to tell with shades.
lie or don't lie? ]
...Soooo are we gonna like. Hammer out details further or something, or is it okay to go and actually do the farming shit I'm supposed to do today?
[ it's a sour twist in his stomach but his posture straightens out and he offers rose a smirk as he makes a split-second decision to undo everything he'd done with her previously. it was nice while it lasted and lying to rose is like riding a bike. probably. ]
Oh, shit. I think I'm supposed to do something re: skeletons, too. But I can put that stuff off until whenever if need be, since time shit.
[ his tone is perfectly casual and he thinks he probably shouldn't be allowed to talk to rose but he'll deal with that never. lying to karkat in order to keep him from freaking out was one thing, but rose has always been another thing entirely. if he's lucky, she'd still deign to hold his hand if they were about to die.
[ that's just it. rose has gotten used to dave telling her the truth, and telling her how he feels. he told her about bro, so she's begun to expect him to not... do this, right here, what he is doing. she expects him to be honest with her, at the least, or at least not lie to her face. even if he avoided talking to karkat thus far, he always told her about his feelings and this... settled those feelings, right? his issue was that he wanted to be public with karkat, karkat agreed to be public, dave agreed to accept that? that's what she thinks has ocurred here, and that sounds like a job well done.
so even if she's a bit unsure, suspicious, she decides to trust dave. even if this was way too easy, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. later she might realize why, possibly while in a pumpkin patch with karkat. but for now she looks between dave and karkat again, waiting to see if something suddenly implodes like it feels it should. when it doesn't, rose nods resolutely. ]
No, I suppose that's it. You two can work out any details yourselves without my meddle-- mediating, yes? Is there anything else needing discussion?
[ that question is directed at karkat, since he isn't the discussion avoider in the room. ]
Uh no, I think we can handle it from here. [ a pause, before he turns his attention fully to rose. ] Thanks.
[ KARKAT SINCERELY THANKING SOMEONE and not doing it in a weird, roundabout way that negates the gesture? alert the presses and file this under things that probably won't happen again any time soon.
he still has... no idea at all how to feel about this, since he is also very caught off guard by how easy that was. he literally spent weeks and weeks arguing with dave on this subject, but... well. rose has always been the person who knows dave best. it would make sense that dave would be willing to try something after she stepped in? probably. maybe?
karkat hopes so.
he glances back at dave. ] We can talk about it later? I think I'm going to go to bed.
[ another plot twist: karkat actually deciding to sleep for once. but this day has been fucking exhausting and he isn't sure that he wants to talk to dave right away once rose leaves? which is weird but. yeah. ]
[ he actually takes his hands out of his pockets to take a few haphazard steps towards...rose. she gets a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek before he steps back to wait for her to like, unlock the doors. ]
And obviously love you, sis. [ he is not 100% sure she will accept such signs of affection if she figures out he lied to her later so. he'll just. do it now as a last chance measure. ]
I have to get goin' for the whole. [ vague hand gestures ] Skeleton thing so yeah we can talk about it later.
[ nah this of course ended in the best possible way with every party equally as happy?? nothing went wrong.
karkat is going to wait for both of them to leave first though so he can bang his head against the wall since even though this worked out (lol) he still went behind dave's back to set this up after they both agreed to not bring it up again and he feels bad for doing something sneaky and dishonest (lmao).
so he is just going to awkwardly wave them both off..... usually he expects at least one [1] hand hold from dave since that is a thing that happens even when they fight but karkat will not risk getting purposely denied that so. bye losers. ]
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no subject
Yes, you want to talk about this. In person, maybe. Perhaps discuss what your previous answers were and each other's feelings about them?
[ she's trying to just. gently prod forward the discussion without getting in the way and it's Hard. ]
no subject
I am slightly worried that you-- Dave, I mean. That you actually do want to no longer be a thing but you don't want to hurt my feelings so you're just going along with this relationship? Since it'll be less painful than just ending it, I guess.
[ oh god it sounds worse out loud. ]
no subject
Idk if I would call that less painful? Than just ending it. But I already said I don't want to break up.
[ he opens his mouth, closes it, and then. just repeats the process a few times, apparently uncertain of what to say...next.
he glances at rose like she'll have an answer, but. ]
We just can't make ourselves want shit we don't want? That's...all. Why the hell is this opinion getting an intervention, oh my god.
no subject
This isn't an intervention. If it were, it'd be about your apple juice addiction.
[ that's all she adds to that KEEP TALKING, BOYS. ]
no subject
Okay but like I said before I have no idea what you actually want because you get all. Dave about literally every topic that might lead into an actual serious argument?
no subject
...
so is the other part, but dave is. still not sure what the fuck to say. ]
I want to drop the topic? I... [ hate talking about shit and he's still edging closer to rose like she isn't going to just distance herself to play mediator again. after a second he stops attempting that and hunches his shoulders forward as he continues not wanting to talk.
he captchas the juice and crosses his arms instead, uneasy, and settles his gaze somewhere on the floor. rose's shoes. her absurd blue godtier shoes. ]
I don't think this argument has an endin' either of us is willin' to entertain and a deadlock's the best we're gettin'. Okay? I'm not happy, whatever, but I'll be less happy with literally every proposed solution we've come up with. Whatever perfect sunshiney happiness I assume y'all are considerin' "issue settled" is not actually an option in this equation, so can we stop discussin' it? I can deal with my bullshit feelings but I cannot deal with constantly talkin' about 'em.
no subject
[ okay that was a little more attack-y than she meant to get but she wants the best for dave (and heck, the best for karkat too), and the best is not an unhappy stalemate, no matter what dave claims.
and as a further meddling sidenote, ]
And frankly, we know you can't just "deal" with your "bullshit" feelings-- which aren't bullshit, by the way. Feelings aren't bullshit.
no subject
and then shuts it when he realizes he would be.... ARGUING AGAINST HIS CASE THERE.... he will let this one go. ]
Also I have offered to entertain it? I was completely ready to start pulling out those long eared mammals out of hats while whistling show tunes for it. [ rabbits. he means rabbits. ] But you said no. Again. Like fucking always.
[ he's starting to wonder if going to rose was a bad idea even though technically rose came to him. but if rose flat out meddling (sorry, mediating) doesn't work then karkat isn't sure if anything will? and dave literally just flat out admitted he isn't happy!! which is something he has implied before but then danced around when called out on it, so. that's progress, or something but.
why. ]
I don't want to keep talking about this subject forever and I doubt Rose wants to keep hearing about our incredibly embarrassing relationship issues. At least, I hope not? Anyway. It's not like I enjoy beating this deceased hoofbeast over and over again. I am ready to give the damn thing a corpse party but... [ he glances at rose then back at dave. ] I feel like this is going to explode violently in our faces if we don't deal with it.
no subject
[ and be uncomfortable and unhappy and just do it for dave and he's done so many things for bro he kind of hates the notion. his shoulders hunch more and dave considers what to say but it's always easier to run and if he can't run -
he can give in. that's an option still. his mouth's in a thin line and he's still looking at the floor, but. okay. absconding never worked with bro, its not gonna work here, so the next best thing is to shut up and take it and this is probably not an analogy he should be using in any situation, but - okay. ]
Fine. [ public or not, secret or not. the problem kind of is that he genuinely doesn't want what karkat's offering and he knows he can't actually be offered what he wants, which is...dropping it or magically not wanting anything but what has. but okay. right. surrender is an option. ] Pull rabbits out of hats if you want to.
[ he forces a smile, but it's directed at. the floor. ]
You both think this is the best option.
[ okay, look up, but don't look at rose. dave uncrosses his arms and jams his hands in his pockets, raising an eyebrow. ]
You're probably right. You can't both be wrong.
no subject
and no she doesn't want to hear about your relationship issues forever. being awoken at 2am for them was the breaking point really. ]
So, you're agreeing to... discuss the issue? Are we now discussing the issue? That would be good.
no subject
Or are you agreeing to... [ what is he agreeing to. karkat scratches his head, not sure how to proceed here since he wasn't actually expecting dave to say anything but no?? ] If I say I want to go public, you'll just go with it?
[ is that... what he means...... ]
no subject
Yeah. If that's what you want, we'll do that.
[ he will in no way be happy about it but that's okay since he wasn't happy...anyway...and is willing to be. even less happy. the issue is that he isn't happy and every solution makes him Progressively Less Happy but he's been absolutely terrible at conveying that to the point where he's starting to think maybe this is part of the being fucked up by bro and not understanding something normal people are ok with thing or something so we're just going with it. all his "can we not do x" requests are too stubborn so he should just. do x. ]
Got an issue with that settlement, Lalonde?
no subject
rose is just. confused. since when does dave just accept things?? since when is anything easy. this sounds illegal. does she just accept this or. squints. intense squinting. would dave just agree to something that easily? she expected they'd be here a lot longer.
she does notice he isn't looking at her even with his last statement, though, but isn't sure if making a big deal out of it would be her over-psychoanalyzing or. ]
No. [ said slowly, drawn out. ] If that settlement pleases both parties, then as a mediator I would be bound to accept it.
[ looks at karkat. are you pleased, karkat. ]
no subject
I... guess?
[ he sounds confused because what just happened. ]
no subject
...which. actually makes him hesitate for a split second because he'd told her everything except the details of what he's feeling about all of this in exact terms, and that's why he's getting away with it. if he actually commits to this lie, he'll be committing to not telling rose the truth again. he actually kind of liked telling her the truth about shit? it wasn't easy but it was...nice. after a lifetime of lying to her face.
would she be disappointed or mad or sad or what? it's hard to predict. this time he does slant his gaze over towards rose though it's. hard to tell with shades.
lie or don't lie? ]
...Soooo are we gonna like. Hammer out details further or something, or is it okay to go and actually do the farming shit I'm supposed to do today?
[ it's a sour twist in his stomach but his posture straightens out and he offers rose a smirk as he makes a split-second decision to undo everything he'd done with her previously. it was nice while it lasted and lying to rose is like riding a bike. probably. ]
Oh, shit. I think I'm supposed to do something re: skeletons, too. But I can put that stuff off until whenever if need be, since time shit.
[ his tone is perfectly casual and he thinks he probably shouldn't be allowed to talk to rose but he'll deal with that never. lying to karkat in order to keep him from freaking out was one thing, but rose has always been another thing entirely. if he's lucky, she'd still deign to hold his hand if they were about to die.
if not, well, serves him right? ok. ]
no subject
so even if she's a bit unsure, suspicious, she decides to trust dave. even if this was way too easy, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. later she might realize why, possibly while in a pumpkin patch with karkat. but for now she looks between dave and karkat again, waiting to see if something suddenly implodes like it feels it should. when it doesn't, rose nods resolutely. ]
No, I suppose that's it. You two can work out any details yourselves without my meddle-- mediating, yes? Is there anything else needing discussion?
[ that question is directed at karkat, since he isn't the discussion avoider in the room. ]
no subject
[ KARKAT SINCERELY THANKING SOMEONE and not doing it in a weird, roundabout way that negates the gesture? alert the presses and file this under things that probably won't happen again any time soon.
he still has... no idea at all how to feel about this, since he is also very caught off guard by how easy that was. he literally spent weeks and weeks arguing with dave on this subject, but... well. rose has always been the person who knows dave best. it would make sense that dave would be willing to try something after she stepped in? probably. maybe?
karkat hopes so.
he glances back at dave. ] We can talk about it later? I think I'm going to go to bed.
[ another plot twist: karkat actually deciding to sleep for once. but this day has been fucking exhausting and he isn't sure that he wants to talk to dave right away once rose leaves? which is weird but. yeah. ]
no subject
[ he actually takes his hands out of his pockets to take a few haphazard steps towards...rose. she gets a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek before he steps back to wait for her to like, unlock the doors. ]
And obviously love you, sis. [ he is not 100% sure she will accept such signs of affection if she figures out he lied to her later so. he'll just. do it now as a last chance measure. ]
I have to get goin' for the whole. [ vague hand gestures ] Skeleton thing so yeah we can talk about it later.
no subject
[ AND NOW THAT THAT SAPPY TRASH IS OUT OF THE WAY ]
All right, then. Consider this mediation over.
[ and she moves to unlock the door and release the hounds. this will in no way come back to bite them in the ass, ever. ]
no subject
karkat is going to wait for both of them to leave first though so he can bang his head against the wall since even though this worked out (lol) he still went behind dave's back to set this up after they both agreed to not bring it up again and he feels bad for doing something sneaky and dishonest (lmao).
so he is just going to awkwardly wave them both off..... usually he expects at least one [1] hand hold from dave since that is a thing that happens even when they fight but karkat will not risk getting purposely denied that so. bye losers. ]
See you guys later or whatever.