UNLESS YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO ME TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH I WANT TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF FOR THE NEXT TWO HOURS IT MIGHT BE BEST TO SKIP THIS BONDING MOMENT. I'M ASSUMING YOU'RE WITH THE ORANGE STRIDER SO JUST CONTINUE DOING WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU'RE DOING WITH HIM, I GUESS.
I am pacifying him by letting him insult movies i like. But i dont mind listening to that if you wanted? Like i dont rightly know if you prefer being alone like this or having company. Text company! Since i figured you and dirk shouldnt be in the same vicinity right now. But since were friends its my solemn oath to support you as well through troubling times. And well gosh diddly darn it these sure are troubling times over a puppet.
[ see, karkat is the opposite of dave in the sense that he prefers to actually sit through arguments instead of fucking off. like, karkat will storm away in the middle of fights? but he never strays too far and will come back fairly quickly. even if it's only because he wants to continue the fight but whatever. ]
YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SPEND YOUR ENERGY ON HIM. LITERALLY ALL I AM DOING IS VIVIDLY IMAGINING ALL THE WAYS DAVE CAN DIE HORRIBLY IN "TWO HOURS." IT'S NOT TWO HOURS, BTW. FOR ALL WE KNOW HE'S ACTUALLY OUT THERE FOR A FUCKING MONTH. SINCE HE PROBABLY WON'T ADMIT THE ACTUAL TIMEFRAME WHEN HE COMES BACK!
[In fairness, Jake is the opposite but he thinks he's getting better? Well. He hasn't really had a real argument to test that on so he can only hope but he feels like he's getting better.]
Im holding his hand so it checks out. Is he being a jerk to you? That jimmies my britches something terrible. Also that seems a mite lonely. And I say this as a man who appreciates his alone time. Thats a long time to be off on your lonesome without loved ones.
OH GOD. KEEP YOUR BRITCHES UNJIMMIED. I KNEW THAT IF DIRK ACTUALLY TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT STUPID PUPPET THERE WOULD BE A CHANCE OF THIS HAPPENING. IT'S JUST HOW DAVE OPERATES. IT'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HE NEEDS TO STOP BUT IT'S NOTHING NEW.
[Oh no Karkat is not insulting his words. How sad he must be.]
Im afraid the britches are pretty jimmied but ill try to wrestle them down. Still thats no good! Everyone around here needs to man up and stop acting like ignoramuses! Im sorry it happened like this. Maybe i should have tried talking to dave after all.
NO OFFENSE BUT I DOUBT YOU WOULD HAVE CHANGED ANYTHING. I JUST WASN'T CONVINCING ENOUGH TO GET HIM TO STAY SO. IT'S ON ME, I GUESS. AND ALSO ON HIM. FUCK HIM.
Oh wait no dont blame yourself either. It sounds like he has a will of his own. Im glad youre mad at him though. It takes a lot to be right pissed at someone you care for! At least for me it does.
THAT'S MY SECRET, ENGLISH. I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS PISSED AT SOMEONE I CARE FOR. AND SINCE, FOR SOME REASON I DO NOT FULLY COMPREHEND, THE PERSON WHO TAKES THE NUMBER ONE SPOT FOR THAT IS A MISTER DAVE STRIDER, IT MEANS I SPEND A LOT OF MY FREE TIME BEING PISSED AT HIM.
[ he doesn't touch that first part about not blaming himself since that is a thing easier said than done. ]
Well golly i think dirk would appreciate if you taught me that! Since he seems to think i need to be mad at him a lot. Just kidding dont teach me that it sounds really exhausting to be that mad. But maybe teach me how to be a little mad sometimes. When i get ruffled i sort of bury it. Or maybe we're supposed to be a dynamic duo! Just like how we have matching idiots! Youre the mad one and im the... not mad one.
UGH NO. YOU HAVE TO BE MAD SOMETIMES. EVEN JADE GOT MAD SOMETIMES AND IT WAS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO PISS HER OFF. I MEAN, IT WAS ME SHE GOT MAD AT BUT WHATEVER IT WAS OUR THING.
Wait how did you manage to get under her skin thats pretty tricky! But i never get mad about anything except dirk and thats usually only high levels of irritation.
No but really howd you manage that! Shes sweeter than a sunflower in the rain.
IT IS A VERY, VERY LONG STORY THAT WOULD INCLUDE CONTEXT THAT I PREFER NEVER EXISTED. SO ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS THAT A LOT OF OUR CONVERSATIONS CONSISTED OF US JUST YELLING "FUCKASS" EACH OTHER. IT'S OUR THING, APPARENTLY. ANYWAY WE'RE COOL NOW.
[ karkat misses her although he has no idea if jade actually missed him. the only time they had to interact at all after the three years on the meteor was the short timespan between everyone finishing their respective fights and john opening the door... which lead them here.
but again, that type of worry isn't something jake really needs to know. ]
IT'S DEFINITELY A FRIENDSHIP I GUESS. BUT THE POINT IS THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT TOO OR ELSE WHEN YOU DO LIKE, TRULY BLOW UP IT WILL BE MESSY AS FUCK AND NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT. I MEAN, I MIGHT, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'D BE HILARIOUS. BUT EVERYONE ELSE MAY NOT SHARE THAT SENTIMENT.
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I'M ASSUMING YOU'RE WITH THE ORANGE STRIDER SO JUST CONTINUE DOING
WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS YOU'RE DOING WITH HIM, I GUESS.
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But i dont mind listening to that if you wanted?
Like i dont rightly know if you prefer being alone like this or having company.
Text company! Since i figured you and dirk shouldnt be in the same vicinity right now.
But since were friends its my solemn oath to support you as well through troubling times.
And well gosh diddly darn it these sure are troubling times over a puppet.
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YOU SHOULD PROBABLY SPEND YOUR ENERGY ON HIM.
LITERALLY ALL I AM DOING IS VIVIDLY IMAGINING ALL THE WAYS DAVE CAN DIE HORRIBLY IN "TWO HOURS."
IT'S NOT TWO HOURS, BTW.
FOR ALL WE KNOW HE'S ACTUALLY OUT THERE FOR A FUCKING MONTH.
SINCE HE PROBABLY WON'T ADMIT THE ACTUAL TIMEFRAME WHEN HE COMES BACK!
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Im holding his hand so it checks out.
Is he being a jerk to you? That jimmies my britches something terrible.
Also that seems a mite lonely.
And I say this as a man who appreciates his alone time. Thats a long time to be off on your lonesome without loved ones.
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KEEP YOUR BRITCHES UNJIMMIED.
I KNEW THAT IF DIRK ACTUALLY TOLD HIM ABOUT THAT STUPID PUPPET THERE WOULD BE A CHANCE OF THIS HAPPENING.
IT'S JUST HOW DAVE OPERATES.
IT'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HE NEEDS TO STOP BUT IT'S NOTHING NEW.
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Im afraid the britches are pretty jimmied but ill try to wrestle them down.
Still thats no good! Everyone around here needs to man up and stop acting like ignoramuses!
Im sorry it happened like this.
Maybe i should have tried talking to dave after all.
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I JUST WASN'T CONVINCING ENOUGH TO GET HIM TO STAY SO.
IT'S ON ME, I GUESS.
AND ALSO ON HIM. FUCK HIM.
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It sounds like he has a will of his own.
Im glad youre mad at him though. It takes a lot to be right pissed at someone you care for! At least for me it does.
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I AM LITERALLY ALWAYS PISSED AT SOMEONE I CARE FOR.
AND SINCE, FOR SOME REASON I DO NOT FULLY COMPREHEND, THE PERSON WHO TAKES THE NUMBER ONE SPOT FOR THAT IS A MISTER DAVE STRIDER, IT MEANS I SPEND A LOT OF MY FREE TIME BEING PISSED AT HIM.
[ he doesn't touch that first part about not blaming himself since that is a thing easier said than done. ]
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Just kidding dont teach me that it sounds really exhausting to be that mad.
But maybe teach me how to be a little mad sometimes.
When i get ruffled i sort of bury it.
Or maybe we're supposed to be a dynamic duo! Just like how we have matching idiots! Youre the mad one and im the... not mad one.
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YOU HAVE TO BE MAD SOMETIMES.
EVEN JADE GOT MAD SOMETIMES AND IT WAS ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO PISS HER OFF.
I MEAN, IT WAS ME SHE GOT MAD AT BUT WHATEVER IT WAS OUR THING.
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But i never get mad about anything except dirk and thats usually only high levels of irritation.
No but really howd you manage that! Shes sweeter than a sunflower in the rain.
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SO ALL YOU HAVE TO KNOW IS THAT A LOT OF OUR CONVERSATIONS CONSISTED OF US JUST YELLING "FUCKASS" EACH OTHER.
IT'S OUR THING, APPARENTLY.
ANYWAY WE'RE COOL NOW.
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It sounds like a sweet friendship.
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but again, that type of worry isn't something jake really needs to know. ]
IT'S DEFINITELY A FRIENDSHIP I GUESS.
BUT THE POINT IS THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY DO THAT TOO OR ELSE WHEN YOU DO LIKE, TRULY BLOW UP IT WILL BE MESSY AS FUCK AND NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THAT.
I MEAN, I MIGHT, BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE IT'D BE HILARIOUS.
BUT EVERYONE ELSE MAY NOT SHARE THAT SENTIMENT.