FINE I will pretend to be disappointed when you turn out to let me down and were unable to actually accomplish this. I'll even send you a condolence card.
I will see you at the coffee house in, let us say an hour? I'm looking forward to the look on your face, Karkat.
[And, just as promised, she'd be there waiting for him quietly. She was feeling a little better these days, more herself. Little games certainly didn't hurt when taking her mind off of things. Besides, what was life if she didn't get to tease someone, and Karkat was so easy to tease.
Either way, she settled there in her seat, nursing a drink and waiting for him to show up so she could buy him one and show him the hard won prize.]
[ karkat does not arrive on time, mostly because he is a passive aggressive shit and arriving slightly late is his way of getting back at her. i'm sorry he's like five.
when he does arrive, he just sits across from her and leans back in the chair.
[She smiled at him with the impish smile of someone who had been waiting for him to do just what he did. She leaned back and drew a hand-written page with Yu's fine hand-writing all over it before having a look at it and grinning almost fiendishly.
An offer of the page came soon afterwards before she leaned back and set her hands behind her head.] I shall buy you the coffee in a moment. Please do inspect at your leisure. If you still do not believe, you may call Yu himself and verify. He assured me he would attest to its veracity.
[Sorry, Karkat. She was enjoying this too much to be easily annoyed.]
You know that moment, when someone sits triumphant across from you, legs crossed, a cup of coffee in their hands, cradled to enjoy the warmth through the insulated paper cup as they relish the aroma? It's that moment where they look like some cartoon villain, smugly regarding the hero on the other side of the table while waiting for them to recognize that they've won this round, and somebody was going to have to go back to the drawing board.
This was one of those moments. It was only a pity she didn't have her cat on her lap to stroke, just to make a point... since you know that cat tried to eat her once, and now she was the pet and Chloe the master.
She was having way too much fun watching the look on his face right now.]
[ he still doesn't say anything to her, instead focusing on the back and forth conversation. he eventually slams the phone down on the table with all the grace of someone who is most definitely not a sore loser at all. karkat will accept this defeat humbly??
[She giggled.] I'm not about to tell you how I managed to get through the first trial, Karkat, no matter how hard you try. You'll have to get that from Yu.
[This was better than a day-time soap opera. She was enjoying every moment of this thoroughly. Taking another sip, she watched his reactions and grinned across the cup at him, like a cat with the cream. Getting flipped off just ... fit.]
Besides, it isn't as if we set rules, now is it? I believe you even gave me no timer for the first labour. Come now, Eurystheus, I believe the reward for this is my next task, yes? I certainly don't expect much more than that quite yet. Who will take the place of the Lernean Hydra in my quest to earn your favor?
[Yeah, this was going to go swimmingly. She was expecting a petty barb and an even pettier, harder task in 3... 2...]
[ okay, he can deal with this. he can handle it. just because SOME PEOPLE GODDAMN BETRAYED HIM doesn't mean that karkat cannot move on from this and regain ground here. he takes a deep breath
and then another
and is calm. this is fine? this is completely okay??? ignore the fact that he's twitching slightly. ]
Your next task is to get Kashuu Kiyomitsu to wear a certain hat. I'll send it to you later since I don't have it on me right now.
Naturally. That will give me time to make sure I know who this person is.
[She didn't, which meant that outright bribery or forcibly putting it on his head to snap a picture would almost certainly be involved in this particular prank. She was unphased, though. This sounded, on the surface, easier than the first task.
She suspected it wasn't. Grinning at him, she set down the cup and leaned back to steeple her fingers.]
I wonder what will happen if I ever accomplish the gargantuan task of completing all twelve of your labours, Karkat.
You won't ever find out because it's never going to goddamn happen, Chloe.
[ in all honesty, he was beginning to even forget this was a thing. karkat loves competition, but if he's waiting on other people to make the moves in it then he's more likely to get distracted by other shit. he probably shouldn't have said there's no time limit. ]
When you fail I accept apologies in the currency of kissing my dirt ass boots.
[On the upside, she was going to be a touch more aggressive this time. She was considering outright bribery to pull off the feat, once she had the hat.]
Oh, you are droll, aren't you? You really want a poor little florist groveling at your feet that badly, do you? [She winked.] Ah, but let me get you that cup of coffee. We wouldn't want to forget that, would we?
[She winked at him and got up, moving towards the counter and waiting for him. Such a surly boy he could be, but there was a certain amusement to it, honestly.]
[Free drink acquired and she smiled over at him while he placed the order, leaning against the counter and seemingly just in general amused.] You are far too entertaining for your own good, you know.
[She giggled at him, her lips pulled back in a bemused grin.] One of these days, you will realize that all my friends entertain me, in their own ways. You're fun to put up with, now and again.
[Though she was honest enough to admit that she couldn't take his headaches every single day.]
[She was having trouble not falling into laughter too.] Anyone who could manage to have such wonderful feline friends as you is not always so surly, Karkat. [She winked.] I am simply an acquired taste, that is all. Like the sprouts from brussels.
Everyone does at first. There's a wonderful special by Alton Brown on making them quite palatable. [...seriously, though, why did he do that? Why couldn't that man have left well enough alone.]
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I will pretend to be disappointed when you turn out to let me down and were unable to actually accomplish this.
I'll even send you a condolence card.
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[And, just as promised, she'd be there waiting for him quietly. She was feeling a little better these days, more herself. Little games certainly didn't hurt when taking her mind off of things. Besides, what was life if she didn't get to tease someone, and Karkat was so easy to tease.
Either way, she settled there in her seat, nursing a drink and waiting for him to show up so she could buy him one and show him the hard won prize.]
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when he does arrive, he just sits across from her and leans back in the chair.
and just
stares chloe down
your move....................... ]
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[She smiled at him with the impish smile of someone who had been waiting for him to do just what he did. She leaned back and drew a hand-written page with Yu's fine hand-writing all over it before having a look at it and grinning almost fiendishly.
An offer of the page came soon afterwards before she leaned back and set her hands behind her head.] I shall buy you the coffee in a moment. Please do inspect at your leisure. If you still do not believe, you may call Yu himself and verify. He assured me he would attest to its veracity.
[Sorry, Karkat. She was enjoying this too much to be easily annoyed.]
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then rereads it again
he rereads it a third time, then takes a picture of it with his phone, and then types out a quick message.
karkat doesn't say anything yet. just... waits, but he also looks like he's about to have a fucking aneurism so there's that. ]
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You know that moment, when someone sits triumphant across from you, legs crossed, a cup of coffee in their hands, cradled to enjoy the warmth through the insulated paper cup as they relish the aroma? It's that moment where they look like some cartoon villain, smugly regarding the hero on the other side of the table while waiting for them to recognize that they've won this round, and somebody was going to have to go back to the drawing board.
This was one of those moments. It was only a pity she didn't have her cat on her lap to stroke, just to make a point... since you know that cat tried to eat her once, and now she was the pet and Chloe the master.
She was having way too much fun watching the look on his face right now.]
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no he flips chloe off. ]
You cheated somehow. I know you did.
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[This was better than a day-time soap opera. She was enjoying every moment of this thoroughly. Taking another sip, she watched his reactions and grinned across the cup at him, like a cat with the cream. Getting flipped off just ... fit.]
Besides, it isn't as if we set rules, now is it? I believe you even gave me no timer for the first labour. Come now, Eurystheus, I believe the reward for this is my next task, yes? I certainly don't expect much more than that quite yet. Who will take the place of the Lernean Hydra in my quest to earn your favor?
[Yeah, this was going to go swimmingly. She was expecting a petty barb and an even pettier, harder task in 3... 2...]
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and then another
and is calm. this is fine? this is completely okay??? ignore the fact that he's twitching slightly. ]
Your next task is to get Kashuu Kiyomitsu to wear a certain hat. I'll send it to you later since I don't have it on me right now.
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[She didn't, which meant that outright bribery or forcibly putting it on his head to snap a picture would almost certainly be involved in this particular prank. She was unphased, though. This sounded, on the surface, easier than the first task.
She suspected it wasn't. Grinning at him, she set down the cup and leaned back to steeple her fingers.]
I wonder what will happen if I ever accomplish the gargantuan task of completing all twelve of your labours, Karkat.
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[ in all honesty, he was beginning to even forget this was a thing. karkat loves competition, but if he's waiting on other people to make the moves in it then he's more likely to get distracted by other shit. he probably shouldn't have said there's no time limit. ]
When you fail I accept apologies in the currency of kissing my dirt ass boots.
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Oh, you are droll, aren't you? You really want a poor little florist groveling at your feet that badly, do you? [She winked.] Ah, but let me get you that cup of coffee. We wouldn't want to forget that, would we?
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[ ignore the fact that they're here because of the bet that karkat willingly made. ]
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[She winked at him and got up, moving towards the counter and waiting for him. Such a surly boy he could be, but there was a certain amusement to it, honestly.]
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he lets her wait
because he's petty.
but, of course, karkat does eventually get up, since he cannot say no to a free drink. ]
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[ the poor barista. ]
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[Though she was honest enough to admit that she couldn't take his headaches every single day.]
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[ you can practically reach out and touch the sarcasm. ]
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[Ca-ching. There went the bill getting paid, and someone was about to have a fresh pot of joe.]
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[ yeah the person behind the register just had to pretend to sneeze in order to hide their laughter. ]
This is literally my personality.
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[ he doesn't eat vegetables in general. he's one of Those People. ]
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[ he should just drop the conversation, and yet, ]
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