Sure, should we meet up in some sketchy alleyway? I'll bring a trench coat if we want to have that perfectly illicit, "We are doing something suspicious" vibe. Make sure to have an unmarked paper bag on you. Or we can meet at the library.
Brilliant! Perhaps ill don a disguise for it. Or maybe not. It doesnt feel like it suits me. Anyhoo ill be there around 4 then! I promise to make it worth your while.
Just so you know I am very goddamn hard to impress. So don't make promises you will not be able to keep, or else you are going to feel very stupid later on. Anyway fine. Four. See you.
[Rude Karkat?? But Jake is pretty happy waiting for him at the library and he has a big bag next to him which is sadly not a suspicious brown paper bag. But he did write the word "suspicious goods" on it, so.]
[Jake takes the bag and sets it in front of Karkat, pushing it forward.]
Here. Your graduation present. I'm sure you wouldn't consider us chums or real pals but... Well, I appreciated your help last month and you're fun to talk to, so! I thought you might appreciate this.
[Inside is a well-padded box containing a fancy beaded belt and matching tiara, along with a small framed document of authenticity that these are the original props from The Princess Bride.]
[Jake is loaded so he just did not think about things like money limits.]
Oh! Oh, golly, wow, I'm really tickled pink you like it so much! I debated between a few things but I thought, well, who doesn't love The Princess Bride?
[ listen he worked very hard to get that role, because it meant he would get a shit ton of scholarships, but also because he wanted to beat everyone else. i wish his reasoning was more noble, like a love for learning, but no. ]
It works even better since my birthday's in two days.
Ah, you've reached manhood! Finally ready to get some hair on your chest, eh? [Do trolls get hair on their chests though and do we really want to know.] Any plans for celebration?
No? [ why would he make plans, gosh. he has a feeling that anya might end up doing something for him though but he's not entirely sure about that so he won't say anything. ]
Well... That's up to you. But I think you should go out with a friend at least! It's not that eighteen is really any different but spending your birthday on your lonesome is never fun.
[Honestly this just makes Jake think of Karkat as like a kid you took to Burger King who put on one of the paper crowns and it's fucking adorable to him.]
They were a big to-do when I was a tyke. As I got older, I appreciated just doing a special day for myself or with a friend or two, though. Sort of a day to just relax and enjoy myself.
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I'll bring a trench coat if we want to have that perfectly illicit, "We are doing something suspicious" vibe.
Make sure to have an unmarked paper bag on you.
Or we can meet at the library.
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Or maybe not.
It doesnt feel like it suits me.
Anyhoo ill be there around 4 then! I promise to make it worth your while.
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So don't make promises you will not be able to keep, or else you are going to feel very stupid later on.
Anyway fine. Four. See you.
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but karkat will sit down next to him, look both ways, and then lean in to whisper, ]
This is stupid.
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I had to honour your suggestion.
[Jake takes the bag and sets it in front of Karkat, pushing it forward.]
Here. Your graduation present. I'm sure you wouldn't consider us chums or real pals but... Well, I appreciated your help last month and you're fun to talk to, so! I thought you might appreciate this.
[Inside is a well-padded box containing a fancy beaded belt and matching tiara, along with a small framed document of authenticity that these are the original props from The Princess Bride.]
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and then just stares at jake
and then he stares back at the gift
and back at jake
then back at the gift.
karkat. karkat may be crying a little?? his eyes are watering?? ]
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Oh, um— Gosh, are you okay?
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[ which is a little sad considering that he and jake aren't even close friends but. WHATEVER. ]
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Oh! Oh, golly, wow, I'm really tickled pink you like it so much! I debated between a few things but I thought, well, who doesn't love The Princess Bride?
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[ WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING RICH ]
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Um, Karkat? Was that too much to spend?
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[ he's breathing again at least, and he shouted that part.
he immediately hugs the bag though. ]
I'm not giving it back though by the way.
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Good, I wouldn't accept it! It's yours. I heard you got valedictorian, too, so you especially earned it.
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It works even better since my birthday's in two days.
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[ OFFICIALLY AN ADULT except he still cannot drink. not that he probably would cause he's a baby but, still. ]
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No? [ why would he make plans, gosh. he has a feeling that anya might end up doing something for him though but he's not entirely sure about that so he won't say anything. ]
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They weren't really a big deal to me growing up to be honest.
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They were a big to-do when I was a tyke. As I got older, I appreciated just doing a special day for myself or with a friend or two, though. Sort of a day to just relax and enjoy myself.
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This is a very important question, but did you ever receive a pony for your birthday?
[ since he's rich. ]
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