[ that sounds horrifying, but karkat doesn't want to seem like he is terrified of a chocobo? that's lame and also it'll be hard to race something that you're convinced is going to peck out your eyeballs. ]
Sure but if he bites my finger off we're fighting.
I'll let you chop off one of my fingers to be even. Fair?
[Clearly he doesn't believe this is an actual threat... Just look at V! He's got those big ol' funky chocobo eyes full of wonder and no murderous intent!
After a little rummaging, Kashuu pulls a banana and a bar of oats from his bag.]
[That seems to be a trademark move of Karkat's... He'll helpfully hold the banana out to drop into his hands, though.]
Then you can go second! Bananas are the dessert, he's gotta eat his oats first.
[To be fair, V seems very okay with this arrangement and immediately swipes the bar from his hand as soon as he even vaguely turns toward V. A HUNGRY CHOCOBO.]
Hey! Don't be mean to V, his feelings are very delicate.
[V looks like he doesn't give a shit. Possibly because he's too busy eying the banana in Karkat's hand... At least he's polite enough to wait and see if it's offered to him instead of immediately bowling Karkat down to get at it!]
Anyway V is immediately darting over to bite the top half of that banana right out of Karkat's hands. He warks happily! And doesn't even nab any fingers!! What a good chocobo.]
[Kashuu seems vaguely proud, somehow... He'll pat V's neck, too, as if to say "your appetite is truly impressive and I'm glad we stole you from that rando's backyard."]
But V seems happy for the extra attention, if nothing else. He has soft plumage, too! Despite living in the forest, Baren and Kashuu do take very good care of him.]
[ everything is a competition if you try hard enough.
but he will give v a few more pats before pulling away, still not entirely convinced that he's not going to have the most embarrassing death of all time. ]
[Baren texted him at ass o'clock screaming, they had a real crisis...
THAT SAID:]
Yep! He's had a snack so he's good to go, right? [Asking V as if V understands... V seems to be in a great mood! He doesn't know what's going on at any given time, probably, but at least he's good-spirited about it.]
Foot race first, then? We'll need to pick a starting line... [...] Actually, we should probably find a clearing so we don't trip over some branches and die or something. There's one out that way just a little--
[POINTING and then gesturing for this wayward team to follow. V happily does! Good thing Kashuu knows where he's going and they'll actually come across a clearing in a few moments.]
[Kashuu 100% wouldn't be surprised if they shot a gun in the woods with a chocobo and nothing came of it, but considering this is a sTOLEN CHOCOBO he also doesn't want to risk drawing attention to it...
BUT ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH like the race!!]
Go, go—!
[The race that V definitely doesn't understand because he's a dang chocobo. He's still standing at the starting line even as Kashuu starts off, but he notices quickly...]
Shut up, Kashuu, this just means that we're winning!
[ it's not really much of a win if the fastest contender hasn't even left the metaphorical gate. but karkat likes winning, even if it technically doesn't matter who wins since this is all for bingo.
We can't win fairly if he doesn't even know we're racing!
[IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL but here Kashuu is, arguing for the most idiotic part of any of this. Extra idiotic considering he's not stopping, either?! He's just kind of running backwards instead, trying to beckon V forward...]
V! Come here, I'll give you another treat!
[Well, that seems to get his attention... But it's still not a race so much as Kashuu getting bumrushed by a hungry chicken??]
[ karkat, being the loving and caring friend he is, slows down when he notices the predicament kashuu is.
lmao jk, he just starts laughing hysterically. but the laughter makes him miss a rock in his path so he ends up just tripping over it and eating dirt. ]
[Says Kashuu from the bushes, which is where he's been backed into thanks to his very hungry chocobo friend... He's also kind of half-shrieking and squirming around because BEES AND SPIDERS he hates this life.
To save himself and this square, he'll just sort of. Chuck the bar in the general direction of their finish line.]
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Sure but if he bites my finger off we're fighting.
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[Clearly he doesn't believe this is an actual threat... Just look at V! He's got those big ol' funky chocobo eyes full of wonder and no murderous intent!
After a little rummaging, Kashuu pulls a banana and a bar of oats from his bag.]
Here, take your pick.
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[ he means that he can hold it further from his body than he can the oats but it came out stupid. ]
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Then you can go second! Bananas are the dessert, he's gotta eat his oats first.
[To be fair, V seems very okay with this arrangement and immediately swipes the bar from his hand as soon as he even vaguely turns toward V. A HUNGRY CHOCOBO.]
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he watches v eat... appreciating all the various uses he has for all ten of his fingers... ]
Your bird has terrible table manners.
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Hey! Don't be mean to V, his feelings are very delicate.
[V looks like he doesn't give a shit. Possibly because he's too busy eying the banana in Karkat's hand... At least he's polite enough to wait and see if it's offered to him instead of immediately bowling Karkat down to get at it!]
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[ karkat has no problems with pointing that out.
he will... unpeel the banana, and then slowly... hold his hand out. so very slowly. ]
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[No, Kashuu, no...
Anyway V is immediately darting over to bite the top half of that banana right out of Karkat's hands. He warks happily! And doesn't even nab any fingers!! What a good chocobo.]
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[ HE ATE THAT SO QUICKLY?? karkat is shooketh. ]
Does he always eat that fast?
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[Kashuu seems vaguely proud, somehow... He'll pat V's neck, too, as if to say "your appetite is truly impressive and I'm glad we stole you from that rando's backyard."]
You wanna pet him before we get to the race?
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so he sucks it up and... carefully... pat. pat pat pat. ]
Ohhh my god.
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But V seems happy for the extra attention, if nothing else. He has soft plumage, too! Despite living in the forest, Baren and Kashuu do take very good care of him.]
Not so bad, right?
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but he will give v a few more pats before pulling away, still not entirely convinced that he's not going to have the most embarrassing death of all time. ]
He's fine. [ TSUN ]
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You should've seen him when we first got him! He's basically the color of a peacock. Pretty, right?
[Patting poor V...]
It's okay though, you're still pretty now.
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[ he did expect v to look flashier, after all. ]
Is he ready for racing?
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[Baren texted him at ass o'clock screaming, they had a real crisis...
THAT SAID:]
Yep! He's had a snack so he's good to go, right? [Asking V as if V understands... V seems to be in a great mood! He doesn't know what's going on at any given time, probably, but at least he's good-spirited about it.]
Foot race first, then? We'll need to pick a starting line... [...] Actually, we should probably find a clearing so we don't trip over some branches and die or something. There's one out that way just a little--
[POINTING and then gesturing for this wayward team to follow. V happily does! Good thing Kashuu knows where he's going and they'll actually come across a clearing in a few moments.]
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he'll look around the clearing, before finding a spot where a somewhat large rock is. karkat points to it. ]
This can be where we start. So we just need... [ he scans the area again. there's a fern bush across the way. ] There. Finish line.
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[Because they'd all be Struggling otherwise...]
O-kay! To the rock! [LEADING V OVER.] We don't have a gun or anything for the race start, so let's go on three, okay?
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[ or maybe not. who knows, things have been weird lately.
after stopping at the starting line, he'll wait until everyone is settled. v probably still doesn't know what's going on but that's fine. ]
Right, so, uh... three. Two... one... go!
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BUT ANYWAY, MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH like the race!!]
Go, go—!
[The race that V definitely doesn't understand because he's a dang chocobo. He's still standing at the starting line even as Kashuu starts off, but he notices quickly...]
Hey-- No, you come, too!
[V PLEASE.]
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[ it's not really much of a win if the fastest contender hasn't even left the metaphorical gate. but karkat likes winning, even if it technically doesn't matter who wins since this is all for bingo.
but seriously though karkat isn't stopping. ]
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[IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL but here Kashuu is, arguing for the most idiotic part of any of this. Extra idiotic considering he's not stopping, either?! He's just kind of running backwards instead, trying to beckon V forward...]
V! Come here, I'll give you another treat!
[Well, that seems to get his attention... But it's still not a race so much as Kashuu getting bumrushed by a hungry chicken??]
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lmao jk, he just starts laughing hysterically. but the laughter makes him miss a rock in his path so he ends up just tripping over it and eating dirt. ]
Fuuuuuck!
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[Says Kashuu from the bushes, which is where he's been backed into thanks to his very hungry chocobo friend... He's also kind of half-shrieking and squirming around because BEES AND SPIDERS he hates this life.
To save himself and this square, he'll just sort of. Chuck the bar in the general direction of their finish line.]
Go, V, go!
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[ he still wants to win? karkat tries to jump back to his feet, manages to run a bit, then immediately stumbles again.
is v going? is v going to win? ]
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