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[alienates]

KARKAT VANTAS

I probably do not give a fuck.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[covenantal]

Well, you do now. (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Welcome to the beautiful world of kaomoji. There are apps for these things.

That was evocative. Anyway, sounds like a plan to me. This feels like the point where I should introduce myself, since I'd remember if we'd spoken before. I'm Yu Narukami.

[alienates]

凸ಠ益ಠ)凸
Hahahahahahahaha!!

Karkat Vantas.
Anyway what's with this beauty pageant?

[covenantal]

You did it. I'm proud of you, Karkat. I feel like we've both learned something today.

It's to do with a letter my brother received, from Retrospec. Apparently we're going to be holding a beauty pageant.

[alienates]

Nothing we learned will ever be of any real use, but sure.
Continue to heap praise and congratulations on me.

Uh huh.
Why is Retrospec telling people to host events??

[covenantal]

Kaomojis will always be useful. I'm sure you'll find a way to put your new knowledge to good use. Believe in yourself.

That was our question. It was pretty strange.

[alienates]

(╬ಠ益ಠ)

Ok so
Is there any reason why they'd choose you guys in particular?
Like anything that sticks out that might have caught their attention?

[covenantal]

~(=^‥^)ノ☆

We did help run the Valentine's Day blind dating event, but that was just something we simply felt like doing.

[alienates]

(ง •̀_•́)ง

Wait. Hold on, back up a few steps there.
You were a part of that?
You guys paired me up with a dude who is either so straight that chiropractors probably use him to make back braces, or someone who is in very deep denial about his sexuality and will have a crisis in the next few years.

[covenantal]

(=ↀωↀ=)✧

Yes, Souji and I organized that.

I apologize if it didn't quite work out. There were a few problems with the setup. At the time, we simply took the submissions we received. In the end, it seems like quite a few people never actually submitted themselves.

I don't remember who your date was. Still, I'm sorry if you had a rough time.

[alienates]

(☞◣д◢)☞

Some guy named Yosuke.
I didn't actually care. I didn't sign myself up, a person I know did it for me.
I only went along for it cause couples get discounts everywhere on vday so why not tae advantage of it.
Yosuke was the one who had the rough time but he seemed to enjoy the discount ice cream well enough.

1/2

[covenantal]

[covenantal]

Yosuke Hanamura?

[alienates]

Oh yeah, that's the guy.
He really wanted a cute girl and, since you don't know me, I will tell you that I am not a cute girl.

[covenantal]

.... I see.

I have a few classes with him, and my brother and I rescued him from a trash can, once. We're friends. He seemed like he could sometimes be uptight about things like that, but I didn't know it was that bad. I hope you still managed to have a good time. That was our only goal, really. Just for people to enjoy themselves, and maybe meet new friends.

[alienates]

[ RESCUED HIM FROM A TRASH CAN ONCE.... well alright. i guess. ]

Like I said, I'm just glad I got cheap ice cream out of it.
Look, I've never had any issues coming to terms with my sexuality?
Which might not be the norm idk I really do not pay much attention to anyone else's crises about whether they like dick or not. I do not care.
So I guess it was just surprising dealing with someone who cared very much about that and how people saw him.
Since he made it very very clear that it definitely was not a date in any way.
Anyway mostly I just hope the dude gets his panties out of that origami fold he's got them in and just chill out because he is seriously never going to find a girlfriend this way.
Why was he in a fucking trash can???

[covenantal]

[ these things just happen to him, you see. ]

Your view on it is roughly how I feel. It's never really bothered me, what others might think of my orientation. But I recognize that's some luck on my part, to not have to worry about it. I wonder if it's been different for Yosuke. Either way, this changes my plans to ask him out, so I'm grateful you told me, at least.

It seemed like he just managed to fall into it and got stuck there.

1/2

[alienates]

Hahaha he just got stuck in a tras

[alienates]

YOU'RE ASKING HIM OUT?

[covenantal]

Not anymore.

[alienates]

Wow. I would have never guessed in a million years that this conversation would lead us down this path.
But ok, yeah, just asking him out may not work because he will definitely need to go through a sexuality crisis first?
Or like, six of them.
Which may end with you feeling like shit about yourself even though it's not your fault that he is balls deep in the hetero agenda.
So, PERHAPS, you should just first find out how open is he really to the idea of dating a dude?
Does he know you like guys???

[covenantal]

That was meant to be more of an off-hand comment than I made it sound, I think. It's not really a big deal. It was more like something I'd been thinking about, but hadn't made up my mind to actually do yet.

He might be able to guess my orientation, but given what you've said, maybe he's taken my comments about this sort of thing in stride. I haven't told him outright that I'm not straight.

I'm really not sure how I'd ask him about it without making my intentions obvious, though.

[alienates]

[ karkat tries very hard to not appear as much of a romantic as he actually is. and normally he can manage it, since the topic of relationships does not come up very often with people who aren't like, yuuko or anya.

he ends up retyping his replace like three times because he does not want to give the impression that he is Too Invested in yu's love life even though he is now really goddamn curious. ]

If you're still on the fence about the whole thing then waiting to strike may be for the best.
Seriously, you do not want to have to sit through the whole, "But I am not a homosexual!!!" thing holy shit.
Maybe you can just learn how to very subtly flirt and see if he picks up on it and if his reaction is more negative than positive you can pretend like you weren't doing anything.

[covenantal]

[ There's something a little weird about discussing this with a stranger, despite the fact that Karkat makes a good conversational partner. It just ... feels odd, to be so open about something like this. He hadn't even mentioned his thoughts on the issue to Souji. He'd been kind of joking with that asking out comment, though also kind of not, and now here they are. Sometimes his sense of humor comes back to bite him.

Still, as far as advice goes, this is decent, and Karkat doesn't seem to have any ulterior motives. So, now that this topic is on the table, why not?

Even if it makes him feel ... strangely exposed. Talking about his feelings with ... well, anyone. ]

The whole "I am not a homosexual" ... thing. That bad?

I can give it a shot and see if I have any luck. Though, now I'm going to wonder if him responding positively is him flirting back, or not realizing I'm flirting and just responding like a friend. I don't know if I'd be any good at flirting, anyway. I can't say I've really tried before.

[alienates]

[ if karkat had not spent a day on a "date" with yosuke he probably wouldn't have even blinked at yu's comment about asking the guy out honestly.

okay he pauses at the homosexual thing. that actually occurred in one of those weird memory things, and karkat has not?? mentioned it to anyone?? since 1) it was really fucking bizarre and implied he's an alien and 2) IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING HOLY SHIT ]

Uh yeah it was.
Pretty terrible and I pray every single day to all the make believe gods that I will never sit through that ever again.

Huh.
Have you ever actually dated someone??

[covenantal]

Yikes. (⊙︿⊙✿)

No. That's kind of why I was just thinking about it, instead of actually asking him out.