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[alienates]

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[alienates]

IT'S JUNE 12TH, APPARENTLY.
WE DID THE MATH WHILE ON THE METEOR.
IT TOOK A VERY LONG TIME TO FIGURE THAT OUT.

[gnasher]

got it.

is there anything in particular trolls do on their birthday?

[gnasher]

or you do, i guess, that's kind of the wrong question.

[alienates]

NOT REALLY?
MY LAST BIRTHDAY I PLAYED A BULLSHIT GAME.
AND THEN I ARRIVED HERE IN... JULY...? AND KIND OF JUST, COMPLETELY SKIPPED OVER MY BIRTHDAY, I GUESS.
TIME SHENANIGANS.
THE POINT IS WE DON'T REALLY CELEBRATE IT IN THE SAME SENSE THAT YOU HUMANS DO.

[gnasher]

why not?

[alienates]

I DON'T KNOW.
IT JUST WASN'T A THING?
WE AREN'T RAISED THE SAME WAYS SO I GUESS WE JUST HAD DIFFERENT VALUES OR SOMETHING.

[gnasher]

seriously? what a waste of a summer birthday. birthdays are kind of good in general, but those are the best ones.

[alienates]

OUR SEASONS AREN'T REALLY THE SAME AS YOURS.
SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A "SUMMER BIRTHDAY" IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER ONES?
YOU HAVE TO ELABORATE HERE, MATSUOKA.

[gnasher]

what are your seasons like?

summer on earth is hot and you can swim and go to the beach and play sports outside. everything's really green, and the ocean water gets warmer. there's lots of festivals in japan during the summer, stuff like fireworks and food stalls and games. the days are longer and there's no school. it's lot of fun.

my birthday's during the end of winter, when it's cold and wet and shitty out.

[alienates]

IT DOESN'T REALLY CHANGE THAT MUCH?
AND WE DEFINITELY DON'T DO SHIT LIKE FESTIVALS OR FIREWORKS.
ALSO WE DON'T GO TO SCHOOL. THERE AREN'T ANY ADULTS ON ALTERNIA TO TEACH US.
OR WEREN'T I GUESS.
IT'S NOT LIKE ANY OF THIS REALLY MATTERS ANYMORE.

[gnasher]

[alternia sounds like it]

[fucking sucks??? like even more than here?]

would you wanna do shit like festivals and fireworks? not school, you're already smart.

[alienates]

I MEAN, I GUESS?
ALL I REALLY HAVE TO GO OFF ON IS SHIT I'VE SEEN IN MOVIES.
AND I HAVE NO IDEA IF THOSE FESTIVALS ARE THE SAME KIND THAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?\
EARTH IS WEIRD.

[ he doesn't comment on the "you're already smart" thing ugh. don't embarrass him. ]

[gnasher]

you probably haven't been exposed to a ton of japanese movies. japanese festivals are a bit different than things like western parades or picnics.

but fireworks are fireworks everywhere. i bet the gasopod bombs could be altered to explode into cool colours.

[alienates]

FIRST OF ALL, YOU ALL HAVE A WEIRD OBSESSION WITH USING THOSE BOMBS.
THERE IS NO SECOND POINT.

BUT ANYWAY, NOT REALLY.
DAVE IS FROM TEXAS AND I HAVE NO CLUE WHERE THE FUCK THE OTHER DWEEBS LIVE.
JUST THAT IT WAS ALL IN AMERICA WHICH IS WHERE TEXAS IS.

[gnasher]

just because i'm driven doesn't mean i like explosions less than any other teenage guy.

i'll find some movies for us to watch so you can get a feel of japan.

[they will be romantic]

[alienates]

UGH.
OF COURSE YOU'D BE INTO THAT. TYPICAL.

WILL THEY BE GOOD MOVIES?

[gnasher]

there's nothing wrong with being typical about things that go boom.

have i steered you wrong yet? huh?

[alienates]

IT'S SO CLICHE.

NO.
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU WON'T.
I HAVE BEEN BURNT IN THE PAST, RIN.

[gnasher]

even for an alien from another planet, you're the second most cliche guy i know. so that means nothing coming from you.

let yourself trust again. things don't have to be like they were.

[alienates]

FUCK OFF, I AM THE OPPOSITE OF CLICHE.
NO ONE IS LESS CLICHE THAN I AM.
I AM THE ANTITHESIS OF CLICHE.

HMMMM.
I CONSIDERED WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, AND I DECIDED TO DISREGARD IT.

[gnasher]

protesting how you're not cliche is pretty cliche...

we're going to watch a movie about sakamoto ryouma and oryo, the most famous couple in japanese history. he's a former samurai turned revolutionary on the run from groups trying to assassinate him, and she's a fearless maid servant who saves his life while naked.

[alienates]

NOW YOU ARE JUST MAKING UP WHAT'S CLICHE.
WHICH IS CLICHE.

WAIT.
WHAT?
WHY THE FUCK IS SHE NAKED?

[gnasher]

i think we can agree you're cliche and leave it at that.

she's taking a bath when some assassins arrive to kill sakamoto. they stab a spear through the wall and she grabs it, and tells them to fuck off, she's taking a bath. and then she runs naked to warn the revolutionaries upstairs to escape. it's a pretty famous scene.

[alienates]

UH.
IS SHE NAKED IN THE MOVIE?
SHE PUTS ON A TOWEL IN THE MOVIE, RIGHT?

[gnasher]

i think there's a robe involved? i forget. i just remember the way she stands up to the assassins.

[#justextremelyhomosexualthings]

i'm not showing you porn if that's what you're asking.