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[alienates]

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[parodeity]

Asking me not to tease you is cruel and unnatural.

[ and also he refuses? ]

[alienates]

Oh come the fuck on, you say that as if you don't find a million other ways to do that? It's not like you are lacking in material here.

[ dave is such a cruel boysprit??? ]

[parodeity]

When you stop being cute when flustered I will stop teasin' you but until then? No dice.

[ most people don't find getting yelled at "cute" Dave ]

[alienates]

What the fuck! You can't just suddenly call people cute like that, it isn't allowed?

[ karkat is covering his face, and even though dave cannot see it he can probably guess that is. what he's doing. ]

[parodeity]

Oh, I'm sorry, do you have a different weirdo troll term you'd prefer, Kitkat? Should I break out a thesaurus?

] yep mission accomplished

Wait

Dave is pretty sure he had a different mission here uh ]

[alienates]

[ yeah weren't they discussing something actually

serious ]

If you do please feel free to look up all the different ways you can say the worst. Because that's what you fucking are, the literal worst and I hate you.

[parodeity]

I love you, too, babe.

[ he is pretty sure karkat is unable to resist saying it back even if it directly contradicts what he just said. ]

[alienates]

[ uh no? karkat can totally not say it back? he is strong and can resist this sappy lovey dovey bullshit that dave is subjecting him to??



he lasts about ten seconds ]

Godfuckingdammit. I love you, dickhead.

[parodeity]

You nearly lasted eleven seconds that time.

[ the benefits (?) of dating the god of time: his annoying as shit commentary on how long things take. ]

[alienates]

[ that is the opposite of a benefit if anything that is the potential cause of a breakup ]

You are an embarrassing sack of shit.

[parodeity]

[ well it hasn't caused karkat to break up with him yet ]

Yeah but you like sappy shit like that?

[alienates]

[ well that's because karkat never plans to break up with him that but that doesn't mean he can't be overdramatic anyway ]

Uh no. You are definitely the one who is all about the sap. I am just being dragged along for the ride as you continuously embarrass yourself by being needlessly mushy.

[parodeity]

Ok but let's acknowledge I'm not the one who is diehard into chick flicks and rom coms. You? he biggest sap in this relationship.

[ maybe ]

[alienates]

My taste in movies has nothing to do with my love life, Dave. Also you said I love you first there which means that you're the biggest sap. Whoever brings it up is logically the most hopeless romantic.

[ that doesn't seem like it's a scientifically proven fact but karkat says it like it is ]

[parodeity]

Says the guy who can't stop himself from sayin' it back no matter how pissy he's bein' at any given time.

[ dave's unbothered by this accusation tbh ]

[alienates]

I do not say it back every time. You are definitely exaggerating there.

[ this conversation is so embarrassing

he definitely says it back every time

BUT STILL ]

[parodeity]

I love you.

[ counts down the seconds. ]

[alienates]

I love you too.

[ it's almost immediate, like he wasn't even thinking about it when he responded. which. karkat was not. ]

Wait fuck no you tricked me.

[parodeity]

Didn't even require me to get sneaky, man.

[ that can't really be called trickery can it ]

[alienates]

You caught me off guard!

[ how can he be caught off guard by something they were literally just discussing?? who knows ]

I am pretty fucking sure if I said it first then you wouldn't be able to not say it back either.

[parodeity]

Yeah, so? I like saying it.

[ SHRUGS. ]

[alienates]

How can you be so casual about this? I know that the human romantic spectrum is not as fleshed out as my species', but love is still a complex emotion no matter what. I mean, isn't being in love fucking terrifying? Yet here you are, stating it like it's the simplest shit in the world.

[ and here karkat is, overcomplicating things like usual ]

[parodeity]

It is simple. You're overcomplicatin' it. It's not like a thing being terrifying is goin' to stop it bein' a thing.

[alienates]

Ughhh, I know. It's just. Nevermind.


[ wait a sec. ] Why did you call me again didn't this have something to do with Egbert?

[parodeity]

No, no, wait.

[ forget about john for a second actually. ]

Is this a thing we should like. Talk about?

[





yeah. dave just. suggested they. talk about something. granted his voice sounds strangled a little but. feel special since this is the only time so far his haphazard attempts at doing the Talking Thing with dirk have carried over to anyone else at all. it's not at all going to be a regular thing, although he's offered to talk about other shit with karkat before - just. usually karkat's shit instead of shit that is relevant to both of them or related to solely dave. ]