The order in which you listed the options in your letter.
[ dave strider's special move: remembering he forgot to actually specify what he wanted to do and deciding the perfect time to bring it up is in the middle of something completely unrelated.
We only do that if you're sure you won't go enemy of the state, and if you do I can like, ditch you at whatever we're doing and go do something else?
[ wait that sounded bad. he clarifies. ]
Like, not always and I don't mean dump you, I mean. But I think it'd be better if I could just, uh, leave instead of building shit up again? And Rose has pointed out I can like, ask people if they are ok with me leaving a situation I don't want to be in instead of just sticking around and making shit worse for everyone although she did not word it like that because she sounds like a goddamn dictionary with walking legs and pantyhose. Well I actually don't know if she wears pantyhose? Probably not. Or maybe? It's more a Kanaya thing but maybe Kanaya makes her wear them, idk. What's the difference between pantyhose and like tights anyway or are they the same thing?
Sure, ask me, because I am definitely the expert on intricate issues surrounding the world of pantyhose and tights? Let me start up a memo on this subject that I am the number one expert on. I will bring out a guest speaker, Kanaya, and she can fill us in on her methods of forcing your sister into these seemingly uncomfortable fancy socks.
[ karkat stop. focusing on the least important parts of dave's longwinded speeches. ]
But... I guess? I just don't want to force you into another situation that you don't want to be in.
[ he lifts their hands up to his mouth again, although this time he just gives dave's hand a normal kiss without. potentially detaching his wrist. ]
Are they just fancy socks? Don't they stop being socks when they're connected. Are pantyhose just not connected? I should text Rose.
[ DAVE YOU LEGITIMATELY TEXTED KARKAT BECAUSE YOU ACKNOWLEDGED TEXTING ROSE AT LIKE 3AM ONE MORE TIME THIS MONTH WOULD SPELL YOUR OWN DEATH how has rose lalonde not fucking murdered him yet.
please help he's actually fumbling with his free hand for his communicator. IT IS STUPID EARLY LET ROSE SLEEP???????? for the sake of rose's sanity i'll assume karkat is kind enough to stop dave from texting his sister. ]
Ok but also, ditto that? Like opposite ways not me ways just. I already...said...shit I shouldn't have said - yes I know you disagree but just let me, like, say it - and basically all I mean is I would like to. Have it be ok if I can skip out on a situation that is potentially not...painless? Is that, like. Ok?
[ he either runs away too much or sticks around and puts up with stuff he should probably step out on there's literally no inbetween. ]
But uh this doesn't even fuckin' matter if it's all a one-way public thing 'cause I don't actually want to do...that. Where I am the one who has to tell everyone because you freak out? So if you can't handle that I'd prefer option one? And we can shelve the rest 'till Will Smith ain't your muse I guess? Idk.
[ none of this sounds very firm or certain because dave is crap at defining boundaries or what the fuck ever on his own and prefers to let rose or other people take over but they. can't. can they. so. ]
[ karkat definitely does stop dave from messaging his sister because he would like dave to be alive long enough for them to finish literally any of these 12 different conversations that has started in the course of this thread. ]
It's... alright. As long as you don't try skipping out every single time? Since there will probably reach a point where we will eventually have to discuss things even if it's not [ he gestures between them ] in person?
[ there is a pause before he continues talking. ] I want to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel. It actually wasn't a romcom, but it was mentioned in one of the books that Chihiro got for me? I figured since I can't be your date to the dance that it would... be nice... to get to do something like that...
[ oh okay that explains why karkat got pissed the hell off earlier. ]
Oh. Uh, we can do that? I just mean. When you do the flinching freaking out thing. Sometimes it's a lot? And it'll be worse in scenario two. So sometimes I will want to like, go hang with Rose for a bit? Or the Magister or Dirk or, y'know, whatever. Usually I just say something stupid and pretend I didn't notice but like, it occurs to me because Rose literally beat me over the fucking head with it that maybe. My revelations would be less explosive if instead of waiting until the party line doesn't work I like, did something else first?
[ like
acknowledge things he has an issue with
this is a distressingly tiny step in emotional intelligence. please save rose from her brother. ]
And she says it would be normal to go and like...do something else? Tbh I usually just stick around whenever 'cause absconding was not really an option but then it turned out it actually works on everyone except him, what the fuck. [ don't mutter, dave. ]
No that's... fair? But I also had a point with the ferris wheel thing. Because I do want to do stupid couple shit with you that doesn't involve us pretending to be annoying flap creatures who are confused about fake sexualities in the rec room at... shit, what time is it anyway?
[ how long have they been in here. they are never going to watch that movie. ]
And like I said before, that whole thing really was a dick move on my part? So you wanting to step away is. Fair. We can go back to the whole pretending that we aren't a thing at people who don't already know but also like. The world didn't really end for me when like... Rin or anyone else found out? And it's nice when other people call you my boyfriend...
[ he just sounds extremely sappy now and isn't even sure of what he's saying anymore help...... ]
[ no they're watching it dave is just not sleeping again rip. he will not even complain about his fake sexuality again even though he would if he thought karkat didn't actually get that it was sort of a serious issue for humans. but he thinks karkat gets that so he doesn't bother to chase the argument. ]
I'm not...saying we have to do that although we never actually stopped doing that even though we agreed because tbh I knew you wouldn't actually introduce me as your boyfriend even if we were "public" unless people accidentally found out, but like. I'm...down for that option if like, it's both ways and I can step away. And you can step away too? Although uh you do not usually want to step away when you get hurt you usually just yell at me which I guess is probably a fair option too though we'd have to check with Rose to see what you rank on her emotional maturity scale thing I am sure she has written down somewhere?
[ he's sort of on topic still but he's...rambling... ]
Like. I think you and Rose are wrong about certain things you both recently said to me [ re: he's dead sure he's a terrible person ] but it's not like those things weren't always factual and I am...ok with that? So like. I have no idea what I'm saying here. Basically those were the conditions to option two. I get to step away if I need to and vice versa and, uh, I'm not the only one telling people we're dating and it doesn't always come out only by accident or guesstimate. You actually have to refer to me as your boyfriend?
[ it is a good thing dave did not say what they are apparently wrong about out loud because this conversation would have had another topic change lmao....
he considers the two options. the first is obviously the easiest but after this wild ass ride on a rollercoaster that would not pass any safety inspections it. would kind of seem a little weird to just go back to the whole secret dating thing? not a step backwards, exactly, but a step in a direction that would probably lead them towards some weird path they'd get lost in before eventually reaching their destination. ]
I told you already, I am extremely mature and do not need Rose ranking me? So shut the fuck up. Also. I'll... do it. [ a pause. ] I mean, I don't really like it when you tell me that I'm never going to do insert thing here. It kind of puts me in a box and if I try to break out of it, the assumption is that I am just trying to be contrary for the sake of it? But sure.
Ok, but did you actually tell anyone we were dating while we were supposedly public dating?
[ dave stop..........arguing................. ]
I wouldn't assume that in this situation because, like...I'm asking you if you think that's ok and we can do that and I'm not challenging you? Like, I do not actually want to take actual steps in this based on dumb challenges because that works to get you to do some shit that's stupid and doesn't matter but we can't actually do that for things that....do matter?
[ that is why he haphazardly put the brakes on the dumb discussion/challenge earlier...thanks dave. I GUESS? ]
And this isn't that. Idk. Does that even make sense.
No but also the way that whole thing ended was weird enough that it still didn't seem... resolved? So.
[ like. karkat did fall for dave's lie, but he (and rose) still were way too confused by how easily dave agreed to the terms? so even though, from his pov, it seemed like it was Over... it still didn't feel like it was Over. ]
Iiii kind of just want that, the next time you throw some dumb party for some Earth exclusive holiday, you ask me to be your date instead of someone else? That sounds really stupid, but it's just a thing I really want? And it won't happen if we keep hiding.
[ oh okay that's. fair. dave isn't convinced it would have been a thing even so but like. GUESS HE'LL SEE. ]
I mean, you could ask me, too. Technically. Y'all don't even do gender roles, babe. And also I agreed they were stupid at some point in the past three years who the fuck even knows when. Oh shit. Four years? God.
No you have to ask me on my first dance date. [ HE SOUNDS VERY FIRM ON THIS?? ] I already asked you for the ferris wheel date. [ technically karkat did not do this. he just said he wanted to do it. ]
Also we are... both the same gender? What the fuck are you even talking about?
In the interest of full disclosure can I like. Not...accept that as a date request and also retroactively take back the whole "yeah ok marriage" thing because actually. I would like to be asked on either thing if they are to count towards you actually asking me for something? Like. Properly.
[ throws up hands apparently he's admitting to that one now too ]
You don't get to insist I have to ask you to shit if you're gonna half-ass it on my end.
[ that is very alienist of you dave maybe trolls propose without rings hdu
karkat still looks deeply offended because wow?? he was prepared to be mr. karkat strider??? jk he would force dave to tae his name. dave strider-vantas. he probably doesn't even know about the whole changing your surname part of marriage so this is a useless point.
what he does do, however, is crawl onto dave's lap because he's a shit and also fuck u dave. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ he repeats, because he has no idea what the fuck option one means.
be less vague????? ]
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[ no????????????????????????????????????????? ]
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[ WHAT??? ARE THE OPTIONS??? ]
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[ dave strider's special move: remembering he forgot to actually specify what he wanted to do and deciding the perfect time to bring it up is in the middle of something completely unrelated.
idk why people talk to him ]
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[ at least he is used to these abrupt topic changes by now. ]
What conditions?
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[ wait that sounded bad. he clarifies. ]
Like, not always and I don't mean dump you, I mean. But I think it'd be better if I could just, uh, leave instead of building shit up again? And Rose has pointed out I can like, ask people if they are ok with me leaving a situation I don't want to be in instead of just sticking around and making shit worse for everyone although she did not word it like that because she sounds like a goddamn dictionary with walking legs and pantyhose. Well I actually don't know if she wears pantyhose? Probably not. Or maybe? It's more a Kanaya thing but maybe Kanaya makes her wear them, idk. What's the difference between pantyhose and like tights anyway or are they the same thing?
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[ karkat stop. focusing on the least important parts of dave's longwinded speeches. ]
But... I guess? I just don't want to force you into another situation that you don't want to be in.
[ he lifts their hands up to his mouth again, although this time he just gives dave's hand a normal kiss without. potentially detaching his wrist. ]
So. What do you want to do?
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[ DAVE YOU LEGITIMATELY TEXTED KARKAT BECAUSE YOU ACKNOWLEDGED TEXTING ROSE AT LIKE 3AM ONE MORE TIME THIS MONTH WOULD SPELL YOUR OWN DEATH how has rose lalonde not fucking murdered him yet.
please help he's actually fumbling with his free hand for his communicator. IT IS STUPID EARLY LET ROSE SLEEP???????? for the sake of rose's sanity i'll assume karkat is kind enough to stop dave from texting his sister. ]
Ok but also, ditto that? Like opposite ways not me ways just. I already...said...shit I shouldn't have said - yes I know you disagree but just let me, like, say it - and basically all I mean is I would like to. Have it be ok if I can skip out on a situation that is potentially not...painless? Is that, like. Ok?
[ he either runs away too much or sticks around and puts up with stuff he should probably step out on there's literally no inbetween. ]
But uh this doesn't even fuckin' matter if it's all a one-way public thing 'cause I don't actually want to do...that. Where I am the one who has to tell everyone because you freak out? So if you can't handle that I'd prefer option one? And we can shelve the rest 'till Will Smith ain't your muse I guess? Idk.
[ none of this sounds very firm or certain because dave is crap at defining boundaries or what the fuck ever on his own and prefers to let rose or other people take over but they. can't. can they. so. ]
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It's... alright. As long as you don't try skipping out every single time? Since there will probably reach a point where we will eventually have to discuss things even if it's not [ he gestures between them ] in person?
[ there is a pause before he continues talking. ] I want to kiss at the top of the ferris wheel. It actually wasn't a romcom, but it was mentioned in one of the books that Chihiro got for me? I figured since I can't be your date to the dance that it would... be nice... to get to do something like that...
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Oh. Uh, we can do that? I just mean. When you do the flinching freaking out thing. Sometimes it's a lot? And it'll be worse in scenario two. So sometimes I will want to like, go hang with Rose for a bit? Or the Magister or Dirk or, y'know, whatever. Usually I just say something stupid and pretend I didn't notice but like, it occurs to me because Rose literally beat me over the fucking head with it that maybe. My revelations would be less explosive if instead of waiting until the party line doesn't work I like, did something else first?
[ like
acknowledge things he has an issue with
this is a distressingly tiny step in emotional intelligence. please save rose from her brother. ]
And she says it would be normal to go and like...do something else? Tbh I usually just stick around whenever 'cause absconding was not really an option but then it turned out it actually works on everyone except him, what the fuck. [ don't mutter, dave. ]
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[ how long have they been in here. they are never going to watch that movie. ]
And like I said before, that whole thing really was a dick move on my part? So you wanting to step away is. Fair. We can go back to the whole pretending that we aren't a thing at people who don't already know but also like. The world didn't really end for me when like... Rin or anyone else found out? And it's nice when other people call you my boyfriend...
[ he just sounds extremely sappy now and isn't even sure of what he's saying anymore help...... ]
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[ no they're watching it dave is just not sleeping again rip. he will not even complain about his fake sexuality again even though he would if he thought karkat didn't actually get that it was sort of a serious issue for humans. but he thinks karkat gets that so he doesn't bother to chase the argument. ]
I'm not...saying we have to do that although we never actually stopped doing that even though we agreed because tbh I knew you wouldn't actually introduce me as your boyfriend even if we were "public" unless people accidentally found out, but like. I'm...down for that option if like, it's both ways and I can step away. And you can step away too? Although uh you do not usually want to step away when you get hurt you usually just yell at me which I guess is probably a fair option too though we'd have to check with Rose to see what you rank on her emotional maturity scale thing I am sure she has written down somewhere?
[ he's sort of on topic still but he's...rambling... ]
Like. I think you and Rose are wrong about certain things you both recently said to me [ re: he's dead sure he's a terrible person ] but it's not like those things weren't always factual and I am...ok with that? So like. I have no idea what I'm saying here. Basically those were the conditions to option two. I get to step away if I need to and vice versa and, uh, I'm not the only one telling people we're dating and it doesn't always come out only by accident or guesstimate. You actually have to refer to me as your boyfriend?
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he considers the two options. the first is obviously the easiest but after this wild ass ride on a rollercoaster that would not pass any safety inspections it. would kind of seem a little weird to just go back to the whole secret dating thing? not a step backwards, exactly, but a step in a direction that would probably lead them towards some weird path they'd get lost in before eventually reaching their destination. ]
I told you already, I am extremely mature and do not need Rose ranking me? So shut the fuck up. Also. I'll... do it. [ a pause. ] I mean, I don't really like it when you tell me that I'm never going to do insert thing here. It kind of puts me in a box and if I try to break out of it, the assumption is that I am just trying to be contrary for the sake of it? But sure.
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[ dave stop..........arguing................. ]
I wouldn't assume that in this situation because, like...I'm asking you if you think that's ok and we can do that and I'm not challenging you? Like, I do not actually want to take actual steps in this based on dumb challenges because that works to get you to do some shit that's stupid and doesn't matter but we can't actually do that for things that....do matter?
[ that is why he haphazardly put the brakes on the dumb discussion/challenge earlier...thanks dave. I GUESS? ]
And this isn't that. Idk. Does that even make sense.
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[ like. karkat did fall for dave's lie, but he (and rose) still were way too confused by how easily dave agreed to the terms? so even though, from his pov, it seemed like it was Over... it still didn't feel like it was Over. ]
Iiii kind of just want that, the next time you throw some dumb party for some Earth exclusive holiday, you ask me to be your date instead of someone else? That sounds really stupid, but it's just a thing I really want? And it won't happen if we keep hiding.
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I mean, you could ask me, too. Technically. Y'all don't even do gender roles, babe. And also I agreed they were stupid at some point in the past three years who the fuck even knows when. Oh shit. Four years? God.
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Also we are... both the same gender? What the fuck are you even talking about?
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[ ok he actually frowns. ]
In the interest of full disclosure can I like. Not...accept that as a date request and also retroactively take back the whole "yeah ok marriage" thing because actually. I would like to be asked on either thing if they are to count towards you actually asking me for something? Like. Properly.
[ throws up hands apparently he's admitting to that one now too ]
You don't get to insist I have to ask you to shit if you're gonna half-ass it on my end.
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[ give him a moment.
he actually gets up on his knees and like... crawls so that he is now sitting in front of dave instead of next to him. karkat looks scandalized? ]
We're not getting married?
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[ like he joked about a big proposal but apparently he at least wants a ring and the usual thing???? wow???? ]
And also I think maybe that should like, chronologically come after other shit? I dunno.
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karkat still looks deeply offended because wow?? he was prepared to be mr. karkat strider??? jk he would force dave to tae his name. dave strider-vantas. he probably doesn't even know about the whole changing your surname part of marriage so this is a useless point.
what he does do, however, is crawl onto dave's lap because he's a shit and also fuck u dave. ]
Want to kiss me on the ferris wheel?
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dave doesn't actually protest the whole lap situation but just lets his hands go to either side of karkat's waist, absently steadying him.
he's actually quiet for a moment or two before answering. ]
Not really a request for a date still, but yeah, obviously.
[ dave is an asshole sometimes, news at eleven. his lips just barely tilt upwards into smile mode. ]
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karkat rolls his eyes at dave's reply. he kind of did see that coming and yet he still allowed himself to walk into it. ]
Fine. Would you like to go on a date with me where we will, presumably, kiss on a ferris wheel?
[ the ferris wheel isn't even a thing yet why ]
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Ok. But I'm not lettin' you get handsy with me up there, because I'm a proper lady.
[ is karkat really sure he wants to go on a date with dave. ]
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You were talking about wanting to do explicit sexual activities with me earlier. How fucking ladylike.
[ yeah he hasn't forgotten that conversation!!!!!! ]
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