[ the only time karkat has been to luke's bar, they just talked about nonsense the entire time and karkat didn't realize until after her left that he never actually got a drink? sure it would have been something virgin since he's underaged but. not even a water damn. ]
Hell, maybe you could even do a special between your stores.
[Sometimes you just get stuck with really chatty individuals who eat up whole chunks of time and get nothing of value accomplished. Not that Kashuu is like that at all, of course...]
Right? I think I've said that before, too. I mean, coffee and liquor go together pretty well, yeah? People love that stuff. We could probably do a syrup swap for the underage crowd too, since we make our own and I think Luke might make his.
[ karkat would not know if coffee and liquor go well together because he has never had alcohol in his life, but he is going to take kashuu's word for it. ]
[He's an expert and he is 100% ready to prove it okay.]
Duh! We even have Irish whiskey-flavored syrup for people who like the taste a lot but don't wanna get drunk before they go in to work or whatever. Coffee and stuff like Bailey's is super popular, too.
[A PAUSE... And then he's back to work again, mixing up something else?! This time he uses a sample cup, at least, since it's just a shot of Irish whiskey syrup, a splash of cream, and a little drip coffee in the pot from the back counter.]
Well, you know what they say about alcohol, right? Every glass has different notes when you get to different points, so a good taste-testing would definitely have to be a whole drink.
[It's amazing how easily and smoothly he just pulls bullshit out of thin air... Clearly his time in both the customer service industry and school has done him well.]
[ the problem here is that kashuu has gotten him? karkat knows this sounds like bullshit, but as someone who knows fuck all about alcohol and what people say about it, he can't confidently refute this since, for all he knows, this might be a real thing. goddammit. ]
This sounds very wrong but I don't care enough to argue with you about it, but just know that I am onto you and your lies.
[ he points at his eyes and then he points at kashuu's. dramatically. ]
It's why I was forced to take the convenience store job too. Sometimes you have to work three extremely different and fucking absurd jobs to make a living.
[ wait. ]
How much money do you think exorcists actually make?
[Is he actually giving this some serious thought? He might actually be giving this some serious thought.]
Well, it's not like there's a flood of exorcists out there, right? You'd totally have a monopoly on the market! In that kinda situation, you could charge however much you wanted and really boost your reputation up until people just think that's what your services are really worth.
Ooh, true, true. You'd have to find a way to fend 'em off! Or brand yourself so uniquely that no one would be able to copy you. ...Or maybe even want to copy you.
[He, too, is apparently down for talking like this is a Real Problem that Karkat is Really Having (or might really have someday), so here they are.]
Good one! Everyone wants to ride on the tailcoats of success as long as they're easy, but if they gotta work? I'm sure you'd lose like, three quarters of the competition right there.
[The competition in this grueling supernatural market... This is going to come back to haunt him when he realizes he was in fact the spirit all along.]
[ it's fine, karkat used to make alien jokes all the time and now he's like OOPS ]</small?
Fucking exactly. And for everyone else, you just have to be better than them, right?
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[ the only time karkat has been to luke's bar, they just talked about nonsense the entire time and karkat didn't realize until after her left that he never actually got a drink? sure it would have been something virgin since he's underaged but. not even a water damn. ]
Hell, maybe you could even do a special between your stores.
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Right? I think I've said that before, too. I mean, coffee and liquor go together pretty well, yeah? People love that stuff. We could probably do a syrup swap for the underage crowd too, since we make our own and I think Luke might make his.
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Do they go well together?
[ jk he did not take his word for it. ]
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Duh! We even have Irish whiskey-flavored syrup for people who like the taste a lot but don't wanna get drunk before they go in to work or whatever. Coffee and stuff like Bailey's is super popular, too.
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still just. nodding his head. ]
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Here, give that a try.
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he glances at the drink, not sure what to expect since he doesn't even know what real whiskey takes like. he takes a sip and makes a face. ]
Is that what whiskey takes like?
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A watered down version, more or less. The real alcohol has a kick to it that you can't really capture with syrup flavors.
[The real one's even worse.]
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Wait. How fucking old are you again?
[ karkat asks this because he realizes he has no clue how old kashuu is, but he doesn't think that he's of drinking age? ]
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Also Karkat is 100% correct.]
Twenty! But when you work with drinks it's important to know what flavors go best together, so a little taste-testing is fine.
[That is entirely bullshit and his punkass expression says he knows it.]
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[ karkat does not actually care enough to judge him or anything. if anything, he's amused? ]
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[It's amazing how easily and smoothly he just pulls bullshit out of thin air... Clearly his time in both the customer service industry and school has done him well.]
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This sounds very wrong but I don't care enough to argue with you about it, but just know that I am onto you and your lies.
[ he points at his eyes and then he points at kashuu's. dramatically. ]
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Eh? So you're an anti-ghost hunter and a detective?
[His tone is light and teasing, though, even as he brings up their trainwreck shitpost. Incredible.]
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I'm a man of many talents. Do you think I can make a living just by thwarting exorcists in this economy? Fuck no.
[ he'd probably be a terrible detective. ]
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Hm... I guess even the ghost economy's got its ups and downs then, huh? That's too bad, scraping by on commissions must be hard.
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[ wait. ]
How much money do you think exorcists actually make?
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Well, it's not like there's a flood of exorcists out there, right? You'd totally have a monopoly on the market! In that kinda situation, you could charge however much you wanted and really boost your reputation up until people just think that's what your services are really worth.
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[ this a completely fake hypothetical situation and yet karkat sounds like this is an actual, viable career choice for them. ]
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[He, too, is apparently down for talking like this is a Real Problem that Karkat is Really Having (or might really have someday), so here they are.]
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[ he isn't sure how to do that. he can probably bullshit it fairly well though. ]
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[The competition in this grueling supernatural market... This is going to come back to haunt him when he realizes he was in fact the spirit all along.]
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Bingo! And half of being better than them is up to your PR team and not your actual skill, anyway.
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[ karkat you don't really need a pr team.
he wonders if he can google this. ]
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