I GUESS IF THEY KILL YOU THAT'LL SOLVE A LOT OF PROBLEMS. I WOULDN'T REALLY APPRECIATE THEM TAKING AWAY MY CHANGE OF WRINGING YOUR NECK INSTEAD BUT WHATEVER. GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID.
WOW, THANKS FOR THE VOTE OF CONFIDENCE. I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WAS IN A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION LATELY AND I DID NOT DIE. IN FACT, I SAVED SOMEONE'S LIFE. SO I'M SURE I CAN HANDLE YOU NEW BEST FRIENDS PERFECTLY FINE.
what dangerous situation were you in but yeah i know you can handle yourself man its just that my new friends are a little different so id prefer not to risk it since shockingly enough i prefer you to be in one piece and entirely well i cant bring myself to deprive the world of all your shouting
YOU ARE NOT REALLY EASING MY CONCERNS HERE. IN FACT YOU SEEM TO BE DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT? CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT THESE FRIENDS ARE SO I CAN ATTEMPT TO PICTURE WHAT IS GOING TO CAUSE YOUR UPCOMING DEMISE. IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO.
WOW, OK. YOU JUST COMPLETELY CONVINCED ME TO JUST GO ALONG WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. PACK UP YOUR BAGS, DAVE, YOU JUST WON A FREE TRIP TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT! TELL YOUR WEIRD BUDDIES THAT I SAY HI AND CAN'T WAIT FOR MY LETTER THAT WILL SURELY DETAIL ALL OF YOUR WACKY SHENANIGANS.
OH MY GOD!!!! LITERALLY NOTHING YOU JUST SAID INDICATES THAT YOU "GOT IT UNDER CONTROL"!!! DO THOSE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT ON EARTH THAN THEY DO ON ATERNIA? I WILL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT FOR ABOUT TWO SECONDS AND PLAY ALONG. AW GEE! YOU DEFINITELY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING! ONE. TWO. MOMENT OVER. NOW SPILL.
EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAY IS JUST MAKING ME GROW MORE AND MORE CONCERNED. YOU ENORMOUS COCKBITE JUST TELL ME ALREADY. BEFORE I DO SOMETHING VERY DRAMATIC TO GET YOUR ATTENTION AGAIN.
dude no i dont want to talk about them until im sure its all right you can be as dramatic as you want im not going to budge on this im not telling them about you guys either so its a two way street of secrecy no offense but youre terrible at keeping secrets partly because you cant keep to an inside voice
I AM KEEPING A FUCK TON OF SECRETS RIGHT NOW FYI. SO I AM DISPROVING YOUR TERRIBLE AT KEEPING SECRETS THEORY AS WE SPEAK. AND WHAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES BEING SURE? IS IT WHEN YOU'RE ONLY 80% SURE THEY WON'T EAT YOU? YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
when im 100% sure they wont hurt you guys and you wont hurt them anyway technically i actually cant tell you about it anyway since it might inspire you to do something and no one does anything about it for a pretty long period of time so i do have reasons other than secrecy for safety here i cant fuck with the timeline bro its all already happened slash is happening
no man its not again its just what i was doing while shit was happening with dirk i stopped doing them because its gotten to the point i already have a headache on my hands for a while now and also yeah
WOW, I AM GLAD YOU THAT STOPPED. THERE IS ALWAYS A SILVER LINING TO EVERY SHITFEST, I GUESS. DAVE STRIDER: ACTUALLY STOPPED DOING SOMETHING STUPID AT HIS OWN VOLITION FOR ONCE. GLAD TO KNOW THAT SOME THINGS CHANGE.
YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE BEEN ATTEMPTING IT ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I KEEP TELLING YOU, AND I'M SURE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TOO, THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY ALONE ANYMORE, DUDE. AND WHILE DIRK IS PROBABLY AS EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AS YOU ARE AT LEAST HE'S BEEN GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR HELP ON THIS MATTER. I KNOW THAT "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER" IS CLICHE AND ALSO YOU PROBABLY FELL ASLEEP DURING THOSE MOVIES TOO? I LOST TRACK OF ALL THE ONES YOU ACTUALLY MANAGED TO REMAIN CONSCIOUS FOR. BUT ANYWAY I'M GLAD THAT YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO TAP INTO THE BEST RESOURCE YOU HAVE IMO. PROBABLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN KNOCK EVEN A LITTLE SENSE INTO THAT THINK PAN OF YOURS.
shes not the only person or the best resource you exist too but in this case i think i actually might need what rose has been trying to sell me for half our goddamn lives
LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT I'M NOT THAT MUCH OF A DICK TO DEMAND THAT. BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK IT HELPED AFTERWARD?
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or like
sixty
[ don't tell rose or dirk?????????? ]
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I WOULDN'T REALLY APPRECIATE THEM TAKING AWAY MY CHANGE OF WRINGING YOUR NECK INSTEAD BUT WHATEVER.
GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID.
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thats why im talking to rose
but anyway thats why you cant meet my friends
i am only sixty percent sure they wont kill me but im like zero percent sure re you
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I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WAS IN A VERY DANGEROUS SITUATION LATELY AND I DID NOT DIE.
IN FACT, I SAVED SOMEONE'S LIFE.
SO I'M SURE I CAN HANDLE YOU NEW BEST FRIENDS PERFECTLY FINE.
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but yeah i know you can handle yourself man
its just that my new friends are a little different
so
id prefer not to risk it since shockingly enough i prefer you to be in one piece and entirely well
i cant bring myself to deprive the world of all your shouting
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IN FACT YOU SEEM TO BE DOING THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT?
CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT THESE FRIENDS ARE SO I CAN ATTEMPT TO PICTURE WHAT IS GOING TO CAUSE YOUR UPCOMING DEMISE.
IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO.
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YOU JUST COMPLETELY CONVINCED ME TO JUST GO ALONG WITH WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
PACK UP YOUR BAGS, DAVE, YOU JUST WON A FREE TRIP TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT!
TELL YOUR WEIRD BUDDIES THAT I SAY HI AND CAN'T WAIT FOR MY LETTER THAT WILL SURELY DETAIL ALL OF YOUR WACKY SHENANIGANS.
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WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY, STRIDER?
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dont tell dirk or rose
ive got it under control
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LITERALLY NOTHING YOU JUST SAID INDICATES THAT YOU "GOT IT UNDER CONTROL"!!!
DO THOSE WORDS MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT ON EARTH THAN THEY DO ON ATERNIA?
I WILL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT FOR ABOUT TWO SECONDS AND PLAY ALONG.
AW GEE! YOU DEFINITELY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
ONE.
TWO.
MOMENT OVER.
NOW SPILL.
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i may not be totally sure im forever sacrosanct re attacking but theyre still my friends
and i dont want anyone to attack them
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YOU ENORMOUS COCKBITE JUST TELL ME ALREADY.
BEFORE I DO SOMETHING VERY DRAMATIC TO GET YOUR ATTENTION AGAIN.
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i dont want to talk about them until im sure its all right
you can be as dramatic as you want im not going to budge on this
im not telling them about you guys either so its a two way street of secrecy
no offense but youre terrible at keeping secrets partly because you cant keep to an inside voice
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SO I AM DISPROVING YOUR TERRIBLE AT KEEPING SECRETS THEORY AS WE SPEAK.
AND WHAT EXACTLY CONSTITUTES BEING SURE?
IS IT WHEN YOU'RE ONLY 80% SURE THEY WON'T EAT YOU?
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
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anyway
technically i actually cant tell you about it anyway since it might inspire you to do something
and no one does anything about it for a pretty long period of time
so i do have reasons other than secrecy for safety here
i cant fuck with the timeline bro
its all already happened slash is happening
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HOW LONG IS IT THIS TIME?
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what i was doing while shit was happening with dirk
i stopped doing them because its gotten to the point i already have a headache on my hands for a while now
and also
yeah
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THERE IS ALWAYS A SILVER LINING TO EVERY SHITFEST, I GUESS.
DAVE STRIDER: ACTUALLY STOPPED DOING SOMETHING STUPID AT HIS OWN VOLITION FOR ONCE.
GLAD TO KNOW THAT SOME THINGS CHANGE.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH.
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anyway
im gonna ask rose to help me
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YOU'LL ACTUALLY TRY, RIGHT?
AND NOT JUST SAY THAT YOU'RE TRYING WITHOUT ACTUALLY MEANING IT?
AGAIN.
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but i dont think i can manage this alone
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I KEEP TELLING YOU, AND I'M SURE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TOO, THAT YOU'RE NOT REALLY ALONE ANYMORE, DUDE.
AND WHILE DIRK IS PROBABLY AS EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AS YOU ARE AT LEAST HE'S BEEN GOING TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR HELP ON THIS MATTER.
I KNOW THAT "WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER" IS CLICHE AND ALSO YOU PROBABLY FELL ASLEEP DURING THOSE MOVIES TOO?
I LOST TRACK OF ALL THE ONES YOU ACTUALLY MANAGED TO REMAIN CONSCIOUS FOR.
BUT ANYWAY I'M GLAD THAT YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO TAP INTO THE BEST RESOURCE YOU HAVE IMO.
PROBABLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN KNOCK EVEN A LITTLE SENSE INTO THAT THINK PAN OF YOURS.
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you exist too
but in this case
i think
i actually might need what rose has been trying to sell me for half our goddamn lives
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OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT I'M NOT THAT MUCH OF A DICK TO DEMAND THAT.
BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK IT HELPED AFTERWARD?
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