Well it can leave me the fuck alone because I have dealt with enough of that. I think I deserve a pass, excusing me from any and all bullshit from here on out.
Fucking exactly! Give me my nice things, you holographic frog. I have helped create literally two universe so I think at this point i should at the very least receive a medal to celebrate my good deeds.
[ dirk may hear something that sounds like a hybrid of a choking noise and an indignant squawk. ]
Who said anything about me being self-conscious? Now you're just assuming shit, Strider. I am the least self-conscious person on this entire base. Wait, hold on a sec.
[ a few more seconds pass and then
tada. a selfie.
it figures that the way to get karkat to do something he doesn't want to is by pointing out that he doesn't want to do it. ]
[ dirk you are going to have to tell dave no eventually. stop this. ]
You are giving him a lot of power over me right now. He already cheats at everything and I do not appreciate this unfair advantage that you are handing to him on a silver platter.
[ karkat has an entire internal debate with himself on whether he should proceed with this line of conversation or just hang up because like, even though dirk officially knows about them dating, karkat still likes to pretend that he does not. it makes him feel better. ]
That's because you only know him as Dave, your ectobiological bro who you apparently spoil the ever loving fuck out of. I, however, know him as Dave, the annoying douche who always ends up in dumb competitions with me for some reason neither of us don't understand. It just happens, and this selfie may start another one that I refuse to lose, Dirk.
[ it is always karkat's fault but that's not the fucking point, dirk!!! ]
Why do you automatically assume that I'm the instigator? This is blatant favoritism at work and I will not tolerate such a biased viewpoint. I know that it's difficult to see through all of that tacky eyewear, but if you stopped looking through Dave tinted glasses for two seconds that maybe you'd be able to comprehend that he is just as guilty as I am for starting shit. Perhaps even more guilty, with that smug little face of his.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[Because P. Space has a nasty sense of humour.]
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[ that things will happen: not that ]
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[And definitely won't get it.]
"that things will happen" i can't belieb i didn't mess up on that jake tag but i fuck this up
[ dirk make him a medal. ]
THIS IS HOW IT GOES
[Wiz is coming to find Karkat.
Wiz has 3D printed a "GOOD DEEDS" medal. It's gold and has ponies.]
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karkat immediately puts it on. ]
This is stupid.
[ he is never going to take it off. ]
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[Monotone but really, he just wants a selfie okay.]
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[ it looks great on him. ]
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Fair enough. Sorry for the burden, Vantas.
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You are not actually sorry.
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No, you're right, dude.
I shouldn't push someone who's self-conscious about his appearance.
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Who said anything about me being self-conscious? Now you're just assuming shit, Strider. I am the least self-conscious person on this entire base. Wait, hold on a sec.
[ a few more seconds pass and then
tada. a selfie.
it figures that the way to get karkat to do something he doesn't want to is by pointing out that he doesn't want to do it. ]
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Thanks.
[He promptly forwards the picture to Dave.]
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[ wait a sec. ] You didn't send that to Dave did you.
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[would not even deny]
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[ not like dave would care BUT KARKAT CARES?? ]
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[Calm down Karkat.]
I can always delete it from his device and replace it with another one if you want.
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What if he's seen it already? Then he would have two selfies and I am not entirely sure he deserves that honor.
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['Would' is the important word here because Dirk wouldn't delete the other one. He would just give Dave every single selfie ever.
Someone stop Dirk Strider from spoiling his family.]
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You are giving him a lot of power over me right now. He already cheats at everything and I do not appreciate this unfair advantage that you are handing to him on a silver platter.
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A cute picture of his boyfriend isn't generally considered competition material in human culture.
[...That might not be true, Dirk honestly doesn't know.]
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That's because you only know him as Dave, your ectobiological bro who you apparently spoil the ever loving fuck out of. I, however, know him as Dave, the annoying douche who always ends up in dumb competitions with me for some reason neither of us don't understand. It just happens, and this selfie may start another one that I refuse to lose, Dirk.
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[He just assumes it's always Karkat's fault honestly.]
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Why do you automatically assume that I'm the instigator? This is blatant favoritism at work and I will not tolerate such a biased viewpoint. I know that it's difficult to see through all of that tacky eyewear, but if you stopped looking through Dave tinted glasses for two seconds that maybe you'd be able to comprehend that he is just as guilty as I am for starting shit. Perhaps even more guilty, with that smug little face of his.
[ that smug little kissable face. ]
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My little Davey would never.
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