alienates | ic inbox

Are you sure? How many people actually pay attention to the person who puts the line out?

[ karkat clearly does not know how vicious the fashion community can be, and how fast they will turn on a designer. ]

[He wishes he could live in blissful ignorance like that... OH DOES HE WISH.]

So many. So many. I mean, the general public usually just oohs and ahhs over designers who put out flashy stuff, but word gets around reeeally fast in the industry if people have a bone to pick with you or don't like how you conduct yourself. It's the worst!

[TOO CUTTHROAT. He'd launch into another series of complaints because boy does he love to complain, except the bell rings and another customer comes in and Kashuu has to smack his customer service smile back on.]

Hey, welcome! I'll be right with you.

[ for a moment there karkat had legitimately forgotten that kashuu is, technically, working, so when he goes back into character for Capitalism, karkat is actually caught off guard.

... he should probably work on his own customer service smile, really, but also, he refuses. ]

Is it usually this quiet here or is it just slow right now?

[ he's not even sure how long they've been talking. ]

[He is a freer man for it... Kashuu needs Insta-Charm for many different situations though, so customer service is just practice for the big gigs.]

It's pretty slow right now... Kinda weird, actually? Normally we're pretty busy. [THE MAGIC OF RP TIMING.

He slides pretty easily into taking this NPC's order after that, though, and fortunately the guy seems more interested in his phone than making small talk so Kashuu's free to turn his attention back while he works.]

Expressive might've rolled out a special today.

[Squinting into the distance with a very Dinkleberg expression...]

[ karkat looks in the direction kashuu is squinting at, as if expecting to see something there but. no. alright.

he recognizes the name expressive though. ]

That's that one coffee place, right?

[ as someone who also works in retail, karkat is well aware of the competitiveness between chains. karkat has no real attachment to his store though, since it's just recolle walgreens tbh, so he just shrugs it off usually. ]

Maybe you should do a better special.

[He's staring at the imagined projection of his MORTAL ENEMY!!

Mortal enemy is probably a little too harsh though, even if he's literally actively stolen customers straight out of Expressive's waiting line before...]

Yeah, they're pretty good but not as good as us. [A PAUSE.] That's not a bad idea, though. Maybe I'll ask Luke for some pointers, that guy just made a whole custom drink menu for his bar.

Did he?

[ the only time karkat has been to luke's bar, they just talked about nonsense the entire time and karkat didn't realize until after her left that he never actually got a drink? sure it would have been something virgin since he's underaged but. not even a water damn. ]

Hell, maybe you could even do a special between your stores.

[Sometimes you just get stuck with really chatty individuals who eat up whole chunks of time and get nothing of value accomplished. Not that Kashuu is like that at all, of course...]

Right? I think I've said that before, too. I mean, coffee and liquor go together pretty well, yeah? People love that stuff. We could probably do a syrup swap for the underage crowd too, since we make our own and I think Luke might make his.

[ karkat would not know if coffee and liquor go well together because he has never had alcohol in his life, but he is going to take kashuu's word for it. ]

Do they go well together?

[ jk he did not take his word for it. ]

[He's an expert and he is 100% ready to prove it okay.]

Duh! We even have Irish whiskey-flavored syrup for people who like the taste a lot but don't wanna get drunk before they go in to work or whatever. Coffee and stuff like Bailey's is super popular, too.

[ karkat is just nodding his head, as he definitely knows what bailey is.

still just. nodding his head. ]

[A PAUSE... And then he's back to work again, mixing up something else?! This time he uses a sample cup, at least, since it's just a shot of Irish whiskey syrup, a splash of cream, and a little drip coffee in the pot from the back counter.]

Here, give that a try.

[ this is the most coffee karkat has ever had in his entire life at this point. he is going to be so wired.

he glances at the drink, not sure what to expect since he doesn't even know what real whiskey takes like. he takes a sip and makes a face. ]

Is that what whiskey takes like?

[Blame him for any damages that occur because of Karkat's Big Day With Caffeine.]

A watered down version, more or less. The real alcohol has a kick to it that you can't really capture with syrup flavors.

[The real one's even worse.]

[ he is going to be awake for two days. ]

Wait. How fucking old are you again?

[ karkat asks this because he realizes he has no clue how old kashuu is, but he doesn't think that he's of drinking age? ]

[rip in rest...

Also Karkat is 100% correct.]

Twenty! But when you work with drinks it's important to know what flavors go best together, so a little taste-testing is fine.

[That is entirely bullshit and his punkass expression says he knows it.]

And when you say a little taste-testing, do you mean a sip or a whole drink?

[ karkat does not actually care enough to judge him or anything. if anything, he's amused? ]

Well, you know what they say about alcohol, right? Every glass has different notes when you get to different points, so a good taste-testing would definitely have to be a whole drink.

[It's amazing how easily and smoothly he just pulls bullshit out of thin air... Clearly his time in both the customer service industry and school has done him well.]

[ the problem here is that kashuu has gotten him? karkat knows this sounds like bullshit, but as someone who knows fuck all about alcohol and what people say about it, he can't confidently refute this since, for all he knows, this might be a real thing. goddammit. ]

This sounds very wrong but I don't care enough to argue with you about it, but just know that I am onto you and your lies.

[ he points at his eyes and then he points at kashuu's. dramatically. ]

[At which point Kashuu just smiles like the BRAT HE IS, which is probably enough of a sign that he's definitely bullshitting.]

Eh? So you're an anti-ghost hunter and a detective?

[His tone is light and teasing, though, even as he brings up their trainwreck shitpost. Incredible.]

[ can you believe that was their first meeting ]

I'm a man of many talents. Do you think I can make a living just by thwarting exorcists in this economy? Fuck no.

[ he'd probably be a terrible detective. ]

[It's a suitable first meeting after that first conversation, honestly. They both just go turbo...]

Hm... I guess even the ghost economy's got its ups and downs then, huh? That's too bad, scraping by on commissions must be hard.

It's why I was forced to take the convenience store job too. Sometimes you have to work three extremely different and fucking absurd jobs to make a living.

[ wait. ]

How much money do you think exorcists actually make?

[Is he actually giving this some serious thought? He might actually be giving this some serious thought.]

Well, it's not like there's a flood of exorcists out there, right? You'd totally have a monopoly on the market! In that kinda situation, you could charge however much you wanted and really boost your reputation up until people just think that's what your services are really worth.

Hm, you think so? But once people see my success, copycats would start turning up to steal my business.

[ this a completely fake hypothetical situation and yet karkat sounds like this is an actual, viable career choice for them. ]

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