I AM JUST SAYING THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE YOU CAN GO WITH ON A FERRIS WHEEL? PLUS YOU ALREADY TOOK JADE TO THE DANCE SO IT IS ONLY FAIR FOR YOU TO THINK OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
USING EXAMPLES FROM MY PAST IS A SHITTY MOVE. I HAVE CHANGED AND HAVE MATURED SINCE THOSE DAYS, DAVE, AND I FUCKING REFUSE TO LET YOU USE MY PREVIOUS MISTAKES AGAINST ME. TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS PIE, DAVE. ITS FLAVOR IS HUMBLE AND I AM THE MASTER CHEF.
john isnt here also i bet itd be fun ive never actually been on one and i doubt she has either maybe i can make rose go with me too after she goes with kanaya
dude literally one of those days was last week probably how much can you have "changed" and "matured" in one week did you go to adult boot camp was kanaya counselor did she make you a camp tshirt
[ the fact that they are sitting next to each other is a mistake because karkat is just getting more and more exasperated at the conversation goes on. ]
OH REALLY!!!! YEAH SURE!!! GO ON THE FERRIS WHEEL WITH THEM THEN I GUESS THAT'S FINE!!!!
OH MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW? WE ALSO HELD HANDS AND SANG SONGS. ONE OF THEM WAS TITLED, "HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT ADMIT THAT HE IS WRONG AND EMBARRASSING AND THAT HIS SHADES LOOK LAME." IT WAS PRETTY HEAVY STUFF.
[ it's totally a mistake and dave just kinda turns his head to whisper in karkat's ear because idk he doesn't feel like normal??? communication??? modes and volumes? apparently? dave fucking strider. ]
[ it's probably a mix of dave's breath on his ear and getting caught completely off guard since he was so. absorbed in texting. that makes him just freeze for a second there. ]
I guess I need to add delusional to the list then.
[ there's a pause before he leans away so that dave is no longer resting his chin on him. and then he leans back in again, so he can nibble on dave's ear and places a hand on his thigh.
yeah no there is still a challenge in the air here and he is mostly just hoping the element of surprise works in his favor??? lmao ]
finish ur paper before replying if you have not already
[ he doesn't blush? so it's not exactly an instawin, though nice try buddy. he does kind of laugh since it's. his ear and that's the first thing karkat went to do. dave reaches down to take karkat's hand off his thigh and like. hold it instead though. ]
I know it's super late but some people, like my brother? Do not sleep.
[ he makes a face at dave (although it is... probably difficult to see given their current sitting position...) before raising their joint hands up. he readjusts his hold so he can more easily just. start gently kissing a line across dave's wrist. ]
Who the fuck knows, because you're never going to.
So, what, you assume I'm just never gonna go hey sure let's do insert whatever explicitly sexual or vaguely sexual activity Karkat's usin' as an insult today? That seems a lil naive, darlin'.
[ actually. it's not like he can't go full on vulgarity? he's done it on other trolls to get them to leave him the eff alone? it's just semi different when it's someone he's dating (how, dave) so he edges around it.
but he doesn't have to.
also this is kind of putting his hand at an awkward angle oh my god ]
[ ugh ok he just drops his head back on the couch. ]
Iiiiiiiii don't wanna say that shit as part of a contest, the hell. But like, I have hormones and you're hot, please be advised I'm not a nun? Or whatever. I mean not that you're implying I am, but it's not like I wouldn't? So it's kinda like you're implying I wouldn't but mostly in a game of gay chicken which is pretty ridiculous since we're kinda obviously gay? Or well neither of us is gay. You're like pansexual or whatever the fuck it is trolls do that's everything and I am a bisexual even though yes I know you think it's a made-up human sexuality I can repeat the argument verbatim so let's just pretend we had it and move on with our lives. But like what is the point of gay chicken when you know you're gay or bisexual or whatever and really it's just like pushing the other person a little further each time to see if they flinch and it's like, holy shit, when am I gonna grow out of the pigtail pulling stage? Not that I was ever in that specifically but I sure fuckin' always have done the whole who'll budge first thing and it's possibly a little sad that I'm still doin' that but at least you're an immature asshole too?
[ oh it's that time of day where he just rambles ad nauseum again ]
I feel like this is probably ironic somehow but not even in the artform way just in the technical dictionary definition way where it's completely lesser irony and I oughtta be ashamed I'm even up to it because I should def be like five levels above this level of bullshit, y'know, like y'all gotta get with it and take it to another plane entirely, can't let 'em get a read on your shit?
[ that probably should not have been what stuck out the most to him out of that entire thing but also. what's gay chicken??
karkat actually laughs though, and for once it's not one of those mean "i'm making fun of you" laughs, but one of those genuine ones that happens once every blood red moon after doing some sort of overcomplicated summoning ritual. ]
Homosexual livestock aside, I wouldn't mind. Doing shit with you. I mean, besides kissing and-- stuff.
[ or...he lost? who lost. dave actually doesn't caaaaaaaaare, he brought it up because he says whatever the hell is on his mind when he rambles like that, and none of it has to be connected to anything else. ]
Also why the fuck are you assigning troll terminology to my very human game, bro. Why y'all always gotta do that. [ HOMOSEXUAL LIVESTOCK - wait ] Actually that sounds better carry on.
The order in which you listed the options in your letter.
[ dave strider's special move: remembering he forgot to actually specify what he wanted to do and deciding the perfect time to bring it up is in the middle of something completely unrelated.
We only do that if you're sure you won't go enemy of the state, and if you do I can like, ditch you at whatever we're doing and go do something else?
[ wait that sounded bad. he clarifies. ]
Like, not always and I don't mean dump you, I mean. But I think it'd be better if I could just, uh, leave instead of building shit up again? And Rose has pointed out I can like, ask people if they are ok with me leaving a situation I don't want to be in instead of just sticking around and making shit worse for everyone although she did not word it like that because she sounds like a goddamn dictionary with walking legs and pantyhose. Well I actually don't know if she wears pantyhose? Probably not. Or maybe? It's more a Kanaya thing but maybe Kanaya makes her wear them, idk. What's the difference between pantyhose and like tights anyway or are they the same thing?
Sure, ask me, because I am definitely the expert on intricate issues surrounding the world of pantyhose and tights? Let me start up a memo on this subject that I am the number one expert on. I will bring out a guest speaker, Kanaya, and she can fill us in on her methods of forcing your sister into these seemingly uncomfortable fancy socks.
[ karkat stop. focusing on the least important parts of dave's longwinded speeches. ]
But... I guess? I just don't want to force you into another situation that you don't want to be in.
[ he lifts their hands up to his mouth again, although this time he just gives dave's hand a normal kiss without. potentially detaching his wrist. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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PLUS YOU ALREADY TOOK JADE TO THE DANCE SO IT IS ONLY FAIR FOR YOU TO THINK OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
USING EXAMPLES FROM MY PAST IS A SHITTY MOVE.
I HAVE CHANGED AND HAVE MATURED SINCE THOSE DAYS, DAVE, AND I FUCKING REFUSE TO LET YOU USE MY PREVIOUS MISTAKES AGAINST ME.
TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS PIE, DAVE. ITS FLAVOR IS HUMBLE AND I AM THE MASTER CHEF.
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also i bet itd be fun ive never actually been on one and i doubt she has either
maybe i can make rose go with me too after she goes with kanaya
dude literally one of those days was last week probably
how much can you have "changed" and "matured" in one week
did you go to adult boot camp
was kanaya counselor
did she make you a camp tshirt
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OH REALLY!!!! YEAH SURE!!!
GO ON THE FERRIS WHEEL WITH THEM THEN I GUESS THAT'S FINE!!!!
OH MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
WE ALSO HELD HANDS AND SANG SONGS.
ONE OF THEM WAS TITLED, "HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT ADMIT THAT HE IS WRONG AND EMBARRASSING AND THAT HIS SHADES LOOK LAME."
IT WAS PRETTY HEAVY STUFF.
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You like my shades.
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I guess I need to add delusional to the list then.
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[ it's dave. he will just rest his chin on karkat's shoulder in a completely awkward position that he should give up what the hell. ]
Would you actually want me to stop wearing them all the time?
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I am pretty sure most people think they are permanently attached to your face.
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[ by karkat standards. ]
i fell asleep with this comment box open
[ there's a pause before he leans away so that dave is no longer resting his chin on him. and then he leans back in again, so he can nibble on dave's ear and places a hand on his thigh.
yeah no there is still a challenge in the air here and he is mostly just hoping the element of surprise works in his favor??? lmao ]
finish ur paper before replying if you have not already
I know it's super late but some people, like my brother? Do not sleep.
im on page 6 thats almost done
Shut the fuck up. I wasn't going to actually try anything.
[ he just wanted to win.... ]
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[ like. he probably wouldn't? but he could????? you never know????????? ]
One of these days I'll take you at your word and then what the fuck are you gonna do?
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Who the fuck knows, because you're never going to.
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[ actually. it's not like he can't go full on vulgarity? he's done it on other trolls to get them to leave him the eff alone? it's just semi different when it's someone he's dating (how, dave) so he edges around it.
but he doesn't have to.
also this is kind of putting his hand at an awkward angle oh my god ]
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nah karkat stops himself, mostly since he needs to properly look at dave now without getting distracted. their hands are now in karkat's lap. ]
Strider, just because you can say it doesn't mean you have the globes to act on it, babe.
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[ ugh ok he just drops his head back on the couch. ]
Iiiiiiiii don't wanna say that shit as part of a contest, the hell. But like, I have hormones and you're hot, please be advised I'm not a nun? Or whatever. I mean not that you're implying I am, but it's not like I wouldn't? So it's kinda like you're implying I wouldn't but mostly in a game of gay chicken which is pretty ridiculous since we're kinda obviously gay? Or well neither of us is gay. You're like pansexual or whatever the fuck it is trolls do that's everything and I am a bisexual even though yes I know you think it's a made-up human sexuality I can repeat the argument verbatim so let's just pretend we had it and move on with our lives. But like what is the point of gay chicken when you know you're gay or bisexual or whatever and really it's just like pushing the other person a little further each time to see if they flinch and it's like, holy shit, when am I gonna grow out of the pigtail pulling stage? Not that I was ever in that specifically but I sure fuckin' always have done the whole who'll budge first thing and it's possibly a little sad that I'm still doin' that but at least you're an immature asshole too?
[ oh it's that time of day where he just rambles ad nauseum again ]
I feel like this is probably ironic somehow but not even in the artform way just in the technical dictionary definition way where it's completely lesser irony and I oughtta be ashamed I'm even up to it because I should def be like five levels above this level of bullshit, y'know, like y'all gotta get with it and take it to another plane entirely, can't let 'em get a read on your shit?
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[ that probably should not have been what stuck out the most to him out of that entire thing but also. what's gay chicken??
karkat actually laughs though, and for once it's not one of those mean "i'm making fun of you" laughs, but one of those genuine ones that happens once every blood red moon after doing some sort of overcomplicated summoning ritual. ]
Homosexual livestock aside, I wouldn't mind. Doing shit with you. I mean, besides kissing and-- stuff.
[ #eloquence ]
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[ or...he lost? who lost. dave actually doesn't caaaaaaaaare, he brought it up because he says whatever the hell is on his mind when he rambles like that, and none of it has to be connected to anything else. ]
Also why the fuck are you assigning troll terminology to my very human game, bro. Why y'all always gotta do that. [ HOMOSEXUAL LIVESTOCK - wait ] Actually that sounds better carry on.
[ dave are you
gonna even respond to the other part
c'mon ]
Ok. Also, uh, option one.
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[ he repeats, because he has no idea what the fuck option one means.
be less vague????? ]
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[ no????????????????????????????????????????? ]
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[ WHAT??? ARE THE OPTIONS??? ]
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[ dave strider's special move: remembering he forgot to actually specify what he wanted to do and deciding the perfect time to bring it up is in the middle of something completely unrelated.
idk why people talk to him ]
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[ at least he is used to these abrupt topic changes by now. ]
What conditions?
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[ wait that sounded bad. he clarifies. ]
Like, not always and I don't mean dump you, I mean. But I think it'd be better if I could just, uh, leave instead of building shit up again? And Rose has pointed out I can like, ask people if they are ok with me leaving a situation I don't want to be in instead of just sticking around and making shit worse for everyone although she did not word it like that because she sounds like a goddamn dictionary with walking legs and pantyhose. Well I actually don't know if she wears pantyhose? Probably not. Or maybe? It's more a Kanaya thing but maybe Kanaya makes her wear them, idk. What's the difference between pantyhose and like tights anyway or are they the same thing?
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[ karkat stop. focusing on the least important parts of dave's longwinded speeches. ]
But... I guess? I just don't want to force you into another situation that you don't want to be in.
[ he lifts their hands up to his mouth again, although this time he just gives dave's hand a normal kiss without. potentially detaching his wrist. ]
So. What do you want to do?
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