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[alienates]

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[parodeity]

You're not gonna give him a hard time, right?

[ oh ok we're back to the topic of dirk.

sorry karkat ]

[alienates]

[ UGH karkat doesn't want to talk about dirk!! well, he does, but he wants to talk about dave's relationship with dirk. not his own?? he just wants to hold a grudge forever at the guy and be mad, why won't dave let this be a thing. ]

As hard of a time as I usually give to him.

[ no he's probably gonna continue to be an asshole ]

[parodeity]

[ an eyebrow raises

and

that's it. try again?????? ]

[alienates]

Don't give me that look, you knockoff Tim Lake. [ karkat doesn't think dave will even catch that reference because the dude probably fell asleep when karkat forced him to watch that particular romcom. since, you know, dave always falls asleep. ]

I'm an immature and unlikable asshole, remember? Of course I'm going to be a dick to him. But it'll just be my normal level of dickness.

[ nah ]

[parodeity]

You're not unlikable.

[ dave isn't going to argue the immature or asshole parts i guess???????????

romance ]

[alienates]

I mean, literally everyone else on the base would disagree with you there, but sure let's go with your opinion that is clearly the correct one.

[ ugh anyway ] You can stop worrying about it since I'm not going to attempt to steal his fucking lunch money or anything.

[parodeity]

You say that, but I know for a fact people're takin' to you. Like, sure, you piss people off a lot, but I bet a lot of people are comin' around talkin' to you and friending it up despite your best attempt at being a cactus.

[ ... ]

I love you and all but you'd totally fail an attempt to steal Dirk's hypothetical lunch money.

[alienates]

[ he makes a face. no dave everyone hates him!!!

karkat, at least, does not say that and just focuses on the second thing. ]

And fuck you, I would steal it as well as his carefully written homework. And then, to put icing on the absurdly sweet baked good, I would stick his head down a waste tube and flush it so many times his hair will finally learn how to follow the laws of gravity, something you all ignore on a regular basis. I will then use his lunch money to wipe away the salty tears that will leak from his vision balls and I will use the tears and money to season my dinner. A dinner known as my overflowing cruelty.

[parodeity]

[ all right, dave just. laughs. he half expected a spiteful yes i could but it's hard to predict the shit karkat will say. ]

His hair stays like that in water so I don't think that'd work? But anyway. Is it ok if I keep crashing with you for a bit?

[ at night, he means. ]

[alienates]

Ugh I guess? You say that as if you wouldn't just show up even if I told you no.

[ probably because they both know if karkat said no to it he wouldn't actually mean it. ]

[parodeity]

If you told me no and meant it I wouldn't come around.

[ karkat is so tsundere? it's terrible ]

You rarely mean any of your demands people fuck off, admit it. You like being involved.

[alienates]

[ well he 100% meant it when he told dirk to fuck off but he took that back because dave would be Upset over it lmao

karkat does not point that out. ]

I don't like "being involved," I am just always thrust into situations without my consent and then am forced to become involved. They're completely different.

[parodeity]

Dude, sometimes you literally do the throwing yourself into situations part. You meddle.

[ admit it ]

[alienates]

I don't meddle! Dave, this is slander? I don't care what anyone else gets up to so why would I attempt to meddle?

[ NO REFUSES TO ADMIT IT? ]

[parodeity]

And what exactly do you call that one memo you dragged John and me into where you like, obsessed over my lips.

[ that was meddling

and also being weirdly fixated on dave's lips, dave is not sure how to classify that one still ]

[alienates]

[ NOOOOO karkat is just going to. sit down and cover his face because he regrets that memo so much (he regrets like all the memos actually) yet people keep bringing it up?? it's so embarrassing in hindsight? ]

I have no fucking clue what memo you're even talking about! I never said anything about your plump lips.

[ for someone who supposedly has no idea what dave is talking about he sure did react to it. ]

[parodeity]

That'd be way more easy to believe if you didn't add "plump" in yourself.

[ like

he's just saying. as he sticks his hands in his pockets and smiles down at karkat in genuine amusement. ]

[alienates]

[ fuck you dave?

karkat kicks him?? except it's an awkward kick considering he's sitting on the ground but still. ]

[parodeity]

[ normally dave would like, dodge, but he feels like if people want to beat him up at this point in time it's ok? he doesn't dodge the kick just like he didn't dodge dirk's punch, and he doesn't retaliate. he does drop down to sit next to karkat, though. ]

Feel better?

[alienates]

Not particularly, no.

[ whether he means dave bringing up something embarrassing or like

in general

who knows ]

[parodeity]

You can punch me if you want?

[ dave

??? stop ]

[alienates]

I always want to punch you, you're always saying the stupidest shit and then you go and pull these dick moves. All the time. Fuck you, asswipe.

[ he does not move to punch him though. ]

[parodeity]

Yeah, I know. [ he just sort of leans over to drop his head on karkat's shoulder. he's tired? he's really tired. ] I love you, though.

[alienates]

[ karkat shifts slightly so the position is more comfortable. for someone who sure did go on a rant about wanting to punch dave he is. definitely doing the opposite of that. ]

I love you too, I guess.

[ yeah he is still physically incapable of not saying it back. ]

Stop being an idiot.

[parodeity]

In what specific way am I bein' told to stop bein' an idiot?

[ like

what do you want him to knock off in particular here, babe ]