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[alienates]

KARKAT VANTAS

I probably do not give a fuck.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

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[alienates]

[ HE HAS... a lot of questions here. he doesn't lean down right away, and instead looks around because??? does aki have a little sister, or something, because this small child looks just like her.

when he sees no one else though, he'll lean down. ]

I'm just going to repeat what I said. What the fuck.

[notbunaga]

[She does have a little sister but you'd be surprised how pure she is compared to Aki.

In any case, he's within range. She slaps him in the face.

There's a little ding, like a twitter notif, and she looks at her phone to see--]

Well, that worked. You made yourself useful for once.

[alienates]

Did you just use me for bingo?!

[ okay yeah that confirms that it's aki. ]

[notbunaga]

Yep.

[What were you expecting.]

I guess Jim wants everyone who broke into retrospec to get their comeuppance.

[alienates]

Oh man, I have that same square. What a coincidence!

[ he raises his hand




and then immediately drops it. ]

[notbunaga]

[Didn't even fucking flinch.]

Thought so. I considered that, but...I considered the fact you wouldn't hit a kid, either.

[Because neither would she and she's worse than he is.]

[alienates]

[ this... is goddamn horrible. he just kind of stares at her in disbelief because of course she would be the kind of person to take advantage of something like this. ]

Why are you tinier than usual anyway?

[notbunaga]

...I don't know.

[By this stage she wishes she could give an answer when people ask, but it's still a mystery.]

I've been like this since Sunday. Dunno why.

...I'm hoping it isn't one of those permanent changes that happen sometimes, like my eyes or your head nubs.

[alienates]

They're not nubs, shut up.

[ more seriously though ] Well, in your memory shit, are you a kid in them or something?

[notbunaga]

No, I'm not.

[She shakes her head.]

My memories are weird though. Sometimes I'm in feudal japan, sometimes I'm on a train or in a low rent apartment.

So ...[She shrugs.] I dunno.

[alienates]

Maybe you're like, immortal or something. Time traveler? I know people who are apparently are, I think.

[ he hates that this is a conversation that he can have without lying. fucking retrospec. ]

[notbunaga]

...mm. time travelling could've messed up my age at some point...i saw a movie like that once.

[Because they can't compare it to real time travel.

Because time travel isn't real!!]

In any case I'm hoping it won't last. I got my friend to get me a week's worth of sick leave...I didn't want to have to quit my job, but people who aren't on the network treat me like an actual kid now. They won't listen when I tell them otherwise.

...though I guess if some kid insisted they were an adult I knew, I wouldn't have either...at least before retrospec.

[alienates]

Yeah, it sounds like an obvious lie. If your personality wasn't so terrible I probably wouldn't have figured out it was really you so fast.

[ he's actually genuinely curious about this though. it doesn't seem like one of those weird city-wide events that retrospec does since so far, she's the only person he has seen who's like this? maybe it's powers? if it is a real, permanent physical change then it's the most... drastic one that he has seen. ]

[notbunaga]

[KARKAT YOU HAVE HORNS.]

Yeah, well. I only came here to slap you in the face, not talk about stuff.

Stop trying to make me stick around just because you can't ask like a normal person.

[alienates]

[ THE HORNS ARE EASIER TO HIDE THAN SUDDENLY BECOMING A KID!! ]

Who said anything about wanting you to stick around!? I just don't want to wake up tomorrow and suddenly be half my size.

[notbunaga]

It's fine. I doubt anyone would notice.

[She really doesn't have the high ground to make jokes like this but honestly.

Honestly.]

[alienates]

[ he suddenly raises his voice. ]

Hey, there's a lost child here. We should probably call the cops so they can find her mommy.

[notbunaga]

Shut up!

[Someone does actually...notice...so she ends up rushing towards him, past him, and into his apartment.

She is not getting dragged off by some well meaning adult.]

[alienates]

[ he snorts, and looks towards the person. ]

I'll take care of it.

[ and he will follow her in. ]

You sound like someone who has been dragged to police stations often the last few days.

[notbunaga]

No, but I've gotten enough "oh where're your parents sweetie" or "oh do you need me to bring you home" from enough people to know it'd happen.

[If Karkat was within strangling distance she'd strangle him.]

[alienates]

[ thankfully, karkat is a kind and caring individual who sympathizes with her plight.

lmao just kidding, he's laughing. ]

[notbunaga]

[well, it's a good thing aki is the type of person to see the bright side of things and find humour in life. She's not afraid to laugh at herself from time to time.

Just kidding she kicks in him the shin, hard.]

[alienates]

Ow! You fucking gremlin, do you want to be punted?

[ UNFORTUNATELY he cannot retaliate as long as she's a kid, even if she's a fake kid. it'll still feel too weird. ]

[notbunaga]

...look, just let me hang out here a little bit. I'm going to meet up with my girlfriend once she finishes work and I'll be out of here for good.

[Hell of a thing to say after she kicked him in the shin.]

Everyone else I know is at work so this is my last resort.

[alienates]

The most surprising thing out of everything you just said was the fact that someone is actually willing to date you.

[ but fine he won't kick her out. primarily because he knows she'll find some other way to get even with him and that is a hassle to deal with as long as she's small. ]