ic inbox

[alienates]

KARKAT VANTAS

I probably do not give a fuck.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

text | i promised

[catsudon]

( the context is relatively ridiculous. Yuri is standing there, showering, as people who enjoy cleanliness and possess hot running water at no extra cost to their monthly bills might do. there, under the stream of blessedly warm water, a thought occurs.

an inspiration.

a remembrance.

he jolts forward, pulling back on the shower curtain and racing across linoleum and swept (but not recently polished) wood floor to the counter, dripping water as he goes. this is fine. he probably needs to mop anyway, and he just remembered what the hell he'd been planning to send to this guy earlier that day.

which is how it comes to be that Yuri Plisetsky is idly thankful he doesn't have a roommate at the moment, considering he's standing buck naked in his kitchen dripping all over the place and frowning as his phone half fails to recognise his finger tapping on the surface when he's texting Karkat the following: )



found you

i am so thankful this is the first comment in my inbox

[alienates]

[ karkat is not naked, unfortunately, so he and yuri will not be having a naked bonding moment while in two completely different buildings. ]

Wow.
Are you the book?

i'm still laughing, or crying

[catsudon]

( wow, what a -- completely normal thing, tbh )

In spite of the times I've told you to bite me, I have yet to mean it literally.

[alienates]

I don't know. I heard that if you say something enough times then there's some kind of hidden meaning to it.
And I can already see the resemblance?
You are totally the book.

[catsudon]

So what I'm hearing is that you low-key want to sink your teeth into me.
Very flattering.
Very no.

[alienates]

I am going to write out a nice list of shit that I want to do less than what you just said.
1. Light a firecracker up my asshole.
2. Sign up for literally any mailing list.
3. Nothing else. There is nothing else I want to do less than sink my teeth into you.

[catsudon]

Thank fuck
Then I'm not the book and that's that

( #logic )

[alienates]

I don't know, dude.
It looks just like you!
Empty of any relevant information.
(Get it? Because it's blank.)

[catsudon]

Dude
Seriously
That's pretty obviously a colouring book
The only blank thing here is the look I just gave my phone

[alienates]

Fuck you.
The page the cat is chewing on is blank.

[catsudon]

Pages have two sides
It's amazing I know but it's also true
Try flipping through sometime I'm sure you'll be astounded

[alienates]

[catsudon]

[alienates]

[catsudon]

( i will, however, point out by now Yuri has managed to achieve clothing, a shower that no longer runs, and has started mopping up the floor with a rag and lazy coasting around with his foot.

for completion's sake )

[alienates]

[ if only karkat could know the full dedication that went into that cat meme, especially considering how now this entire conversation is just. cats. ]

1/2

[catsudon]

( but that would be catching him up on the context; who does that? )

2/2

[catsudon]

( grumpy cat reminds him of certain things he's... done lately. and it's out of curiosity knowing that he doesn't actually care if this gets a response or not that he sends a second text soon after the first: )

sidenote, but have you ever heard of an app called retrospec?

[alienates]

That thing just suddenly appeared on my phone earlier today.
Is it a virus or a scam or something??

[catsudon]

Dunno. It won't let itself stay deleted, it installs across platforms, it comes pre-loaded with our names and all that shit. What kind of virus goes that far?

[alienates]

One programmed by someone in it for the long haul?
I don't fucking know.
But it can't be just a normal app.

[catsudon]

Normal apps don't log you in on whatever technology you happen to be sitting at, so yeah, agreed. At least nothing else does without syncing first.

[alienates]

Wouldn't you already need the program on whatever the fuck else for it to even sync to?
So this is just downloading itself onto whatever you use.

[catsudon]

Yes, and yes. I mean my phone wifi wasn't even on, then bam! It's on my laptop. And Vitya — anyway, this guy I know was using a disconnected phone that wasn't hooked up to anything. I don't know if it even had battery power, but as soon as he was holding it? He was texting on Retrospec.

[alienates]

Have you heard of technology like this?
I mean shit, you'd think this kind of thing would be in a sci-fi or spy movie, not real life.