ic inbox

[alienates]

KARKAT VANTAS

I probably do not give a fuck.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

i am so thankful this is the first comment in my inbox

[alienates]

[ karkat is not naked, unfortunately, so he and yuri will not be having a naked bonding moment while in two completely different buildings. ]

Wow.
Are you the book?

i'm still laughing, or crying

[catsudon]

( wow, what a -- completely normal thing, tbh )

In spite of the times I've told you to bite me, I have yet to mean it literally.

[alienates]

I don't know. I heard that if you say something enough times then there's some kind of hidden meaning to it.
And I can already see the resemblance?
You are totally the book.

[catsudon]

So what I'm hearing is that you low-key want to sink your teeth into me.
Very flattering.
Very no.

[alienates]

I am going to write out a nice list of shit that I want to do less than what you just said.
1. Light a firecracker up my asshole.
2. Sign up for literally any mailing list.
3. Nothing else. There is nothing else I want to do less than sink my teeth into you.

[catsudon]

Thank fuck
Then I'm not the book and that's that

( #logic )

[alienates]

I don't know, dude.
It looks just like you!
Empty of any relevant information.
(Get it? Because it's blank.)

[catsudon]

Dude
Seriously
That's pretty obviously a colouring book
The only blank thing here is the look I just gave my phone

[alienates]

Fuck you.
The page the cat is chewing on is blank.

[catsudon]

Pages have two sides
It's amazing I know but it's also true
Try flipping through sometime I'm sure you'll be astounded

[alienates]

[catsudon]

[alienates]

[catsudon]

( i will, however, point out by now Yuri has managed to achieve clothing, a shower that no longer runs, and has started mopping up the floor with a rag and lazy coasting around with his foot.

for completion's sake )

[alienates]

[ if only karkat could know the full dedication that went into that cat meme, especially considering how now this entire conversation is just. cats. ]

1/2

[catsudon]

( but that would be catching him up on the context; who does that? )

2/2

[catsudon]

( grumpy cat reminds him of certain things he's... done lately. and it's out of curiosity knowing that he doesn't actually care if this gets a response or not that he sends a second text soon after the first: )

sidenote, but have you ever heard of an app called retrospec?

[alienates]

That thing just suddenly appeared on my phone earlier today.
Is it a virus or a scam or something??

[catsudon]

Dunno. It won't let itself stay deleted, it installs across platforms, it comes pre-loaded with our names and all that shit. What kind of virus goes that far?

[alienates]

One programmed by someone in it for the long haul?
I don't fucking know.
But it can't be just a normal app.

[catsudon]

Normal apps don't log you in on whatever technology you happen to be sitting at, so yeah, agreed. At least nothing else does without syncing first.

[alienates]

Wouldn't you already need the program on whatever the fuck else for it to even sync to?
So this is just downloading itself onto whatever you use.

[catsudon]

Yes, and yes. I mean my phone wifi wasn't even on, then bam! It's on my laptop. And Vitya — anyway, this guy I know was using a disconnected phone that wasn't hooked up to anything. I don't know if it even had battery power, but as soon as he was holding it? He was texting on Retrospec.

[alienates]

Have you heard of technology like this?
I mean shit, you'd think this kind of thing would be in a sci-fi or spy movie, not real life.

[catsudon]

Before now? No. I guess things could be on the cloud, but that doesn't explain powering dead batteries or connecting to networks when it shouldn't be possible.
Sci-fi is fine in movies, but I swear, if we wake up covered in goo in tiny pods surrounded by hundreds of thousands of the same thing

( #matrixlives )