alienates | ic inbox

they wont care i hang out with them all the time
cmon vantas what did you think they were gonna get up to in there

also
its completely not bullshit on either account
that sounds like a challenge

I AM JUST SAYING THAT MAYBE THEY WOULD ENJOY A NICE LITTLE FERRIS WHEEL RIDE WITH THE COMPANY OF EACH OTHER.
WITH NO OTHER ADDITIONAL TAGALONGS.
GO WITH SOMEONE ELSE ON IT!!

IS IT REALLY A CHALLENGE WHEN I ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M RIGHT?

oh my god fine ill take jade

yeah except youre wrong
but if i prove you wrong youre not gonna watch the movie with me

WHAT
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE JADE??

A) I AM NOT A SORE LOSER.
B) I AM NOT WRONG SO THIS IS A SCENARIO THAT WON'T EVER HAPPEN.

because i am apparently not allowed to go with rose and dirk probably falls under the same clause
jade isnt dating anyone therefore you cannot throw a fit about me interrupting someones date

how do you not get struck by lightning every five seconds
serious life questions
youre like the worst loser i know hands down
you win at losing badly
which vintage vantas shitfit should we direct our memories to at this point

I AM JUST SAYING THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE YOU CAN GO WITH ON A FERRIS WHEEL?
PLUS YOU ALREADY TOOK JADE TO THE DANCE SO IT IS ONLY FAIR FOR YOU TO THINK OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

USING EXAMPLES FROM MY PAST IS A SHITTY MOVE.
I HAVE CHANGED AND HAVE MATURED SINCE THOSE DAYS, DAVE, AND I FUCKING REFUSE TO LET YOU USE MY PREVIOUS MISTAKES AGAINST ME.
TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS PIE, DAVE. ITS FLAVOR IS HUMBLE AND I AM THE MASTER CHEF.

john isnt here
also i bet itd be fun ive never actually been on one and i doubt she has either
maybe i can make rose go with me too after she goes with kanaya

dude literally one of those days was last week probably
how much can you have "changed" and "matured" in one week
did you go to adult boot camp
was kanaya counselor
did she make you a camp tshirt

[ the fact that they are sitting next to each other is a mistake because karkat is just getting more and more exasperated at the conversation goes on. ]

OH REALLY!!!! YEAH SURE!!!
GO ON THE FERRIS WHEEL WITH THEM THEN I GUESS THAT'S FINE!!!!

OH MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
WE ALSO HELD HANDS AND SANG SONGS.
ONE OF THEM WAS TITLED, "HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT ADMIT THAT HE IS WRONG AND EMBARRASSING AND THAT HIS SHADES LOOK LAME."
IT WAS PRETTY HEAVY STUFF.

[ it's totally a mistake and dave just kinda turns his head to whisper in karkat's ear because idk he doesn't feel like normal??? communication??? modes and volumes? apparently? dave fucking strider. ]

You like my shades.

[ it's probably a mix of dave's breath on his ear and getting caught completely off guard since he was so. absorbed in texting. that makes him just freeze for a second there. ]

I guess I need to add delusional to the list then.

No, you actually do. 'Cause you like it when I take them off, right? Which as a rule I do not for most people.

[ it's dave. he will just rest his chin on karkat's shoulder in a completely awkward position that he should give up what the hell. ]

Would you actually want me to stop wearing them all the time?

[ they're already sitting on the goddamn floor, might as well go all the way in awkward positions ]

I am pretty sure most people think they are permanently attached to your face.

That didn't answer my question, except by you dodging answering it which I guess counts?

[ by karkat standards. ]

It does not count.

[ there's a pause before he leans away so that dave is no longer resting his chin on him. and then he leans back in again, so he can nibble on dave's ear and places a hand on his thigh.

yeah no there is still a challenge in the air here and he is mostly just hoping the element of surprise works in his favor??? lmao ]

[ he doesn't blush? so it's not exactly an instawin, though nice try buddy. he does kind of laugh since it's. his ear and that's the first thing karkat went to do. dave reaches down to take karkat's hand off his thigh and like. hold it instead though. ]

I know it's super late but some people, like my brother? Do not sleep.

[ karkat just. HUFFS because dave is right, he is a terrible sore loser. however, he does kiss dave on the cheek before leaning on him. ]

Shut the fuck up. I wasn't going to actually try anything.

[ he just wanted to win.... ]

Yeah, doesn't mean I wouldn't if you started something up, though.

[ like. he probably wouldn't? but he could????? you never know????????? ]

One of these days I'll take you at your word and then what the fuck are you gonna do?

[ he makes a face at dave (although it is... probably difficult to see given their current sitting position...) before raising their joint hands up. he readjusts his hold so he can more easily just. start gently kissing a line across dave's wrist. ]

Who the fuck knows, because you're never going to.

So, what, you assume I'm just never gonna go hey sure let's do insert whatever explicitly sexual or vaguely sexual activity Karkat's usin' as an insult today? That seems a lil naive, darlin'.

[ actually. it's not like he can't go full on vulgarity? he's done it on other trolls to get them to leave him the eff alone? it's just semi different when it's someone he's dating (how, dave) so he edges around it.

but he doesn't have to.

also this is kind of putting his hand at an awkward angle oh my god ]

[ it's fine your hand is fine??? YOU COULD JUST STOP HIM, DAVE.

nah karkat stops himself, mostly since he needs to properly look at dave now without getting distracted. their hands are now in karkat's lap. ]

Strider, just because you can say it doesn't mean you have the globes to act on it, babe.

Actually, I -

[ ugh ok he just drops his head back on the couch. ]

Iiiiiiiii don't wanna say that shit as part of a contest, the hell. But like, I have hormones and you're hot, please be advised I'm not a nun? Or whatever. I mean not that you're implying I am, but it's not like I wouldn't? So it's kinda like you're implying I wouldn't but mostly in a game of gay chicken which is pretty ridiculous since we're kinda obviously gay? Or well neither of us is gay. You're like pansexual or whatever the fuck it is trolls do that's everything and I am a bisexual even though yes I know you think it's a made-up human sexuality I can repeat the argument verbatim so let's just pretend we had it and move on with our lives. But like what is the point of gay chicken when you know you're gay or bisexual or whatever and really it's just like pushing the other person a little further each time to see if they flinch and it's like, holy shit, when am I gonna grow out of the pigtail pulling stage? Not that I was ever in that specifically but I sure fuckin' always have done the whole who'll budge first thing and it's possibly a little sad that I'm still doin' that but at least you're an immature asshole too?

[ oh it's that time of day where he just rambles ad nauseum again ]

I feel like this is probably ironic somehow but not even in the artform way just in the technical dictionary definition way where it's completely lesser irony and I oughtta be ashamed I'm even up to it because I should def be like five levels above this level of bullshit, y'know, like y'all gotta get with it and take it to another plane entirely, can't let 'em get a read on your shit?

Wait what's gay chicken.

[ that probably should not have been what stuck out the most to him out of that entire thing but also. what's gay chicken??

karkat actually laughs though, and for once it's not one of those mean "i'm making fun of you" laughs, but one of those genuine ones that happens once every blood red moon after doing some sort of overcomplicated summoning ritual. ]

Homosexual livestock aside, I wouldn't mind. Doing shit with you. I mean, besides kissing and-- stuff.

[ #eloquence ]

We both lost like sweeps ago so it's irrelevant.

[ or...he lost? who lost. dave actually doesn't caaaaaaaaare, he brought it up because he says whatever the hell is on his mind when he rambles like that, and none of it has to be connected to anything else. ]

Also why the fuck are you assigning troll terminology to my very human game, bro. Why y'all always gotta do that. [ HOMOSEXUAL LIVESTOCK - wait ] Actually that sounds better carry on.

[ dave are you

gonna even respond to the other part

c'mon ]

Ok. Also, uh, option one.

Option one.

[ he repeats, because he has no idea what the fuck option one means.

be less vague????? ]

Or option two with conditions.

[ no????????????????????????????????????????? ]

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i fell asleep with this comment box open

finish ur paper before replying if you have not already

im on page 6 thats almost done

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