alienates | ic inbox

[ cutter sure did just land on someone.

a very disgruntled someone, who seems a little less than pleased to have his walk interrupted by a teenage boy missing a trash can by a foot. not that he's aware cutter had been aiming for the trash can.

there's a moment of silence before, ]

Is walking a normal day to day challenge for you or do you just specifically fucking hate me?

Wow, that ended up being a lot softer than- oops? [He really shouldn't but he laughs at the revelation that he didn't twist his ankle or bruise his booty thanks to actually having landed on a person instead.]

Wow! If I'd planned on doing that that'd have never worked! Er, you aren't hurt with the way you can still rant, are ya? Sorry about the miss, or not-miss, more like! I was aiming for the trash can.

I could have a broken leg and I'd still be ranting. Don't underestimate me.

[ which means that he is, in fact, uninjured except for the usual soreness you may get from having a body land on top of you. ]

Should I ask what the fuck? Is there even a point?

Heh. Sounds like some awesome ranting powers you've got. [He huffs, trying not to laugh.

He also isn't moving to get off yet.]

No point! Or yes point, if you consider that I was just wanted to move and work out a little! Also coming back to your original question, of course I don't hate you! Why would I when I don't even know you yet!

[and since the roof's already on fire Cutter figures he might as well toss some final gasoline in in form of a smile and a wink]

Once we do I might.

[ oh my GOD

he huffs? and does not appreciate that smile and wink combo. ]

You are definitely working really hard to make sure that I hate you though. Your ass is murdering me right now. I am about to fucking die and on my autopsy report, it's literally going to read, "was crushed by this random asshole's ass."

[Aw, Karkat is no fun. Cutter considers staying put just a bit longer just to be annoying, but then he gets up figuring that'd be downright mean.]

That'd be something unique to put on your grave, at least.

[Bowing down he offers his hand to help him up. It's calloused in the way of somebody who works out a lot.]

Thanks for keeping me from breaking a leg, I guess. And sorry for the sudden 'attack'. Usually I don't jump people like that.

[ he'll stare at the offered hand for a second. it looks like he might reject it with how long it takes, but he will eventually grab it to get up. look it's easier than just getting back up on his own okay. ]

Whhhhy exactly are you jumping on trash cans anyway? That is generally low on the list of things that people would normally find enjoyable past the age of twelve.

[Cutter is patiently holding it out for however long it takes for it to be taken (or refused), not minding giving the other time to consider his reaction to the gesture. When his hand is finally taken he grins wide and pulls Karkat up with the ease of somebody who has helped people up multiple times before.]

Kids actually think that's fun? [He shrugs his shoulder and smiles again.] I've been learning parkour recently and I have, like, way too much energy at times so it seemed like a good idea. Especially with that stupid song's that's stuck in my head, I figured if I just vented it all out I'd be fine afterward.

[Tilting his head he frowns lightly, but then dismisses whatever idea crossed his mind with a shrug.]

It's the same with cats and dogs at times, right? Sometimes you're just itching to move to get rid of all that energy and it feels nice!

[ there are... a lot of things that cutter just said that kk finds questionable. he isn't even sure what to first address here. the parkour? the cats and dogs reference? some song? actually the parkour thing is the most ???? ]

Oh my god. I didn't know people who did parkour actually existed in real life. It seems like one of those dumb things that youtube made up. Also, what song?

That stupid one from the bingo challenge, "never lift you up, never let you down"?

And you bet they do! I'm learning it from a stuntman, so it's the real deal!

[ hm, so that means this guy is a retrospec user. ]

Okay well, first of all, never mention that song ever again because I have vicious caroling flashbacks from it and do not need to get reminded of them. Second, learn from the stuntman better.

I'm learning what to not to do, one mistake a time!

Caroling flashbacks? Pffft, don't tell me you did it for real! Though I don't know whether to call it good or bad luck to happen upon another retrospec-affected.

[He gives him a look.]

Those "memories" didn't make you think that you're some superhero, fantasy dragon or alien, did they? Cause if they did I'm out of here.

[ things they definitely did: make him think he's an alien. he even has horns now? but they're hidden under a beanie at the moment, so.

karkat makes a Face at the comment though. ]

Fuck off, of course I did it. Isn't it better to trigger the memory yourself than just sit around waiting for them to happen?

So you enjoy going insane? I wanna know what's up with people and actually wanting that shit. Did they book me into the wrong club or something?

[But there is something undeniable and even admirable to Karkat's logic, so Cutter's voice ends up sounding way more neutral than he usually is on the topic. Facing things head on and even taking the initiative is manly.]

I didn't say that I want it, just that if there's a choice of me having a choice in the matter versus me eating cereal in the morning and randomly remember the time someone attempted to murder me with a bowl or something, I would want to go with the former.

[ that is not an actual regain he has received but at this point he would not be surprised if it happened. ]

[There is a long pause as something in Cutter's eyes turns dark and distant.]

Trust me, that's not fun to remember no matter what you're doing and when.

It's not. That's why I'd still want it to be less of a surprise.

[ he opens up his bingo card on his phone. ]

I'm almost done with mine.

[He scrunches up his face in frustration.]

No. What I mean is ....death......!

[Wait, why is he trying to bring this up again to a stranger? It's Cutter's private problem and no matter how much it keeps bothering him whining about it won't help!]

No, you know what? Just forget it. Remembering in general sucks and messes with your sense of self, but that's just my two cents on it.

[Eager for a change in topic he pulls out his phone as well and flashes his own bingo card, which is mostly a mess.]

This 's mine.

[ he blinks when cutter stresses the death part. this seems like an actual conversation to have, and he would like to be nosy and keep prodding?? but he also wants to fill out this bingo card.

he makes a decision to deal with the bingo now, and then get back to the other topic later. ]

Sing to me right now.

....what.

I thought you don't want me to sing.

[Well, it'd been more of a general "stop doing this shit whatever you're doing" but the idea's the same.]

I don't, but I am about to do a killing two birds with one stone thing here, so you can either sing to me or you can shut up and I will sing to you, and then proceed to live the rest of my life in exile immediately after.

[ the fact that he truly does not seem happy about any of this should show that he doesn't want either of them to sing. he just really wants to complete bingo. ]

[He opens his mouth and then closes it again. Cutter crosses his arms in front of his chest.]

You're going to use me to fill out this bingo thing, aren't you?

[Everything inside of him screams no, but he does owe the guy something for using him as a mattress.]

Fine. What do you want me to sing?

It has to be a ballad.

[ ... cutter doesn't look like the kind of guy who would know ballads. ]

The Titanic song.

[ that one is well known enough so he figures cutter would know it? or at least know the chorus. ]

[That earns him a sputter and Cutter visibly drawing back.]

What the hell?! NO! You can sing that if you want, but I'm not gonna sing something that mushy- I don't even know the lyrics for that!!

[Taking a deep breath, he tries to calm down. Okay. Ballad. Ballad. What the heck even counts as a ballad?!]

Oh, goddamnit, don't you dare laughing!

[Giving him a glare he clears his throat and starts intoning "Hero". The lyrics come shaky at first, but Cutter gets quickly into it and even manages to show off a pretty strong soulful singing voice.]

I can be your hero
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

[ he is deeply offended that cutter doesn't know the lyrics to that iconic hit song? he's like, five seconds from ranting about how could anyone not know the lyrics to it (despite the fact that he didn't think cutter knew the lyrics for it before he even suggested it), but then the guy starts singing.

this... this is deeply embarrassing, holy shit. he knows that this is just for bingo, but getting serenaded is still a very "oh my GOD" moment regardless. ]

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