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[alienates]

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[parodeity]

fuck off i am not
clearly it would depend on the r rated thing which i could totally handle
ive been to the deepest bowels of the human internet karkat
ive seen things

[ he literally blushed and flipped out at finding a playboy with dirk earlier this month. ]

[alienates]

[ dave u fucking loser ]

DID YOU HAVE YOUR EYES CLOSED THE ENTIRE TIME?
YOU CANNOT LIE TO ME, DAVE.
I HAVE SEEN THE WAY YOUR EYES SHIFT NERVOUSLY ANY TIME A HUMAN MATING SCENE HAPPENS IN A MOVIE THAT YOU HAVEN'T FALLEN ASLEEP DURING YET.
THE WAY YOU ARE SUDDENLY INTERESTED IN YOUR COMMUNICATOR INSTEAD OF WHATEVER IS GOING ON.

NOT THAT ANY OF THIS MATTERS BECAUSE NOTHING IS HAPPENING WITH THE FERRIS WHEEL.

[parodeity]

you get *way* more flustered than me and also maybe
i only react that way when im watching them with you
maybe i dont even flinch when watching them with other people
who are not rose
addendum
i hate watching that kinda shit with rose she always gets so
rose
honestly the english language has failed me here theres nothing that better sums up how rose gets than her name and literally nothing else
lame

wow so youre not going to ride in a ferris wheel with me
fine ill go with rose and kanaya

[alienates]

OK YOU GOT ME WITH ROSE.
BUT NO YOU GET MORE EMBARRASSED THAN I DO.
ANYTHING SAID OTHERWISE IS A BLATANT LIE?

WHOA
WHOA WHOA GODDAMN WHOA.
DON'T GO WITH ROSE AND KANAYA YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN THEIR DATE.

[parodeity]

dude i can make you get red in like 2 seconds flat
youd require more effort for me
therefore you are more easily embarrassed

what no im not
rose likes hanging out with me
id only go up in the ferris wheel with them not like around the entire place

[alienates]

THAT IS BULLSHIT ON BOTH ACCOUNTS

AND OH MY FUCK
DO NOT GO WITH THEM ON THE FERRIS WHEEL!!!!

[parodeity]

they wont care i hang out with them all the time
cmon vantas what did you think they were gonna get up to in there

also
its completely not bullshit on either account
that sounds like a challenge

[alienates]

I AM JUST SAYING THAT MAYBE THEY WOULD ENJOY A NICE LITTLE FERRIS WHEEL RIDE WITH THE COMPANY OF EACH OTHER.
WITH NO OTHER ADDITIONAL TAGALONGS.
GO WITH SOMEONE ELSE ON IT!!

IS IT REALLY A CHALLENGE WHEN I ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M RIGHT?

[parodeity]

oh my god fine ill take jade

yeah except youre wrong
but if i prove you wrong youre not gonna watch the movie with me

[alienates]

WHAT
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE JADE??

A) I AM NOT A SORE LOSER.
B) I AM NOT WRONG SO THIS IS A SCENARIO THAT WON'T EVER HAPPEN.

[parodeity]

because i am apparently not allowed to go with rose and dirk probably falls under the same clause
jade isnt dating anyone therefore you cannot throw a fit about me interrupting someones date

how do you not get struck by lightning every five seconds
serious life questions
youre like the worst loser i know hands down
you win at losing badly
which vintage vantas shitfit should we direct our memories to at this point

[alienates]

I AM JUST SAYING THAT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE YOU CAN GO WITH ON A FERRIS WHEEL?
PLUS YOU ALREADY TOOK JADE TO THE DANCE SO IT IS ONLY FAIR FOR YOU TO THINK OF THE OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

USING EXAMPLES FROM MY PAST IS A SHITTY MOVE.
I HAVE CHANGED AND HAVE MATURED SINCE THOSE DAYS, DAVE, AND I FUCKING REFUSE TO LET YOU USE MY PREVIOUS MISTAKES AGAINST ME.
TAKE A WHIFF OF THIS PIE, DAVE. ITS FLAVOR IS HUMBLE AND I AM THE MASTER CHEF.

[parodeity]

john isnt here
also i bet itd be fun ive never actually been on one and i doubt she has either
maybe i can make rose go with me too after she goes with kanaya

dude literally one of those days was last week probably
how much can you have "changed" and "matured" in one week
did you go to adult boot camp
was kanaya counselor
did she make you a camp tshirt

[alienates]

[ the fact that they are sitting next to each other is a mistake because karkat is just getting more and more exasperated at the conversation goes on. ]

OH REALLY!!!! YEAH SURE!!!
GO ON THE FERRIS WHEEL WITH THEM THEN I GUESS THAT'S FINE!!!!

OH MAN, HOW DID YOU KNOW?
WE ALSO HELD HANDS AND SANG SONGS.
ONE OF THEM WAS TITLED, "HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FACT THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND CANNOT ADMIT THAT HE IS WRONG AND EMBARRASSING AND THAT HIS SHADES LOOK LAME."
IT WAS PRETTY HEAVY STUFF.

[parodeity]

[ it's totally a mistake and dave just kinda turns his head to whisper in karkat's ear because idk he doesn't feel like normal??? communication??? modes and volumes? apparently? dave fucking strider. ]

You like my shades.

[alienates]

[ it's probably a mix of dave's breath on his ear and getting caught completely off guard since he was so. absorbed in texting. that makes him just freeze for a second there. ]

I guess I need to add delusional to the list then.

[parodeity]

No, you actually do. 'Cause you like it when I take them off, right? Which as a rule I do not for most people.

[ it's dave. he will just rest his chin on karkat's shoulder in a completely awkward position that he should give up what the hell. ]

Would you actually want me to stop wearing them all the time?

[alienates]

[ they're already sitting on the goddamn floor, might as well go all the way in awkward positions ]

I am pretty sure most people think they are permanently attached to your face.

[parodeity]

That didn't answer my question, except by you dodging answering it which I guess counts?

[ by karkat standards. ]

i fell asleep with this comment box open

[alienates]

It does not count.

[ there's a pause before he leans away so that dave is no longer resting his chin on him. and then he leans back in again, so he can nibble on dave's ear and places a hand on his thigh.

yeah no there is still a challenge in the air here and he is mostly just hoping the element of surprise works in his favor??? lmao ]

finish ur paper before replying if you have not already

[parodeity]

[ he doesn't blush? so it's not exactly an instawin, though nice try buddy. he does kind of laugh since it's. his ear and that's the first thing karkat went to do. dave reaches down to take karkat's hand off his thigh and like. hold it instead though. ]

I know it's super late but some people, like my brother? Do not sleep.

im on page 6 thats almost done

[alienates]

[ karkat just. HUFFS because dave is right, he is a terrible sore loser. however, he does kiss dave on the cheek before leaning on him. ]

Shut the fuck up. I wasn't going to actually try anything.

[ he just wanted to win.... ]

[parodeity]

Yeah, doesn't mean I wouldn't if you started something up, though.

[ like. he probably wouldn't? but he could????? you never know????????? ]

One of these days I'll take you at your word and then what the fuck are you gonna do?

[alienates]

[ he makes a face at dave (although it is... probably difficult to see given their current sitting position...) before raising their joint hands up. he readjusts his hold so he can more easily just. start gently kissing a line across dave's wrist. ]

Who the fuck knows, because you're never going to.

[parodeity]

So, what, you assume I'm just never gonna go hey sure let's do insert whatever explicitly sexual or vaguely sexual activity Karkat's usin' as an insult today? That seems a lil naive, darlin'.

[ actually. it's not like he can't go full on vulgarity? he's done it on other trolls to get them to leave him the eff alone? it's just semi different when it's someone he's dating (how, dave) so he edges around it.

but he doesn't have to.

also this is kind of putting his hand at an awkward angle oh my god ]