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[alienates]

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[alienates]

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU ACTUALLY KNOW IF WE HAD FERRIS WHEELS OR NOT
SO YOU ONLY HAVE MY WORD TO GO ON WITH THIS.
AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I SAY... FUCK YOU IT HAS BEEN A LIFELONG DREAM.

[ a minute later though he will be showing up in the rec room. he is wrapped up in a big blanket that hajime or someone probably made and he took because like. free blanket. ]

[parodeity]

[ dave is in the jeans and shirt combo he wore that day because tbh he didn't even bother to try sleeping. he. DOESN'T SWAP TO VOICE BUT JUST KEEPS TEXTING, LIKE A REASONABLE HUMAN BEING WOULD DO, YOU KNOW anyway he's sitting next to a couch instead of on it, and does actually have the snacks he mentioned. ]

i can ask kanaya
easily

[alienates]

WHAT
NO DON'T ASK KANAYA, WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER HERE WHEN I'M HERE?
SHE'S A VERY BUSY LADY, DAVE. DON'T WASTE HER TIME.

[ .... why is he enabling the texting while in the same room

either way he. sits down next to dave instead of sitting on the fucking couch like a loser. ]

i got distracted by bad twilight fanfic

[parodeity]

and by dont ask her you mean it wasnt lifelong
so this has to be a thing in one of the many romcoms i have had to endure
which is it
i have to watch and study up dude

[ oh my god karkat you could have sat on the couch like a normal person ]

its ok i am getting distracted by everything

[alienates]

FIRST OF ALL, YOU WOULD JUST END UP FALLING ASLEEP OR START TEXTING DIRK HALFWAY THROUGH.
DON'T EVEN PRETEND AS IF YOU PAY ANY ATTENTION TO MY MOVIES
SECOND, I NEVER SAID IT WAS A ROMCOM.

[ MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE SAT ON THE COUCH THEN!!! ]

[parodeity]

dude you watch like nothing but romcoms
do i need to text dirk and ask him what romcoms have ferris wheels
also you basically confirmed it more or less

[ YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO SIT ON THE GROUND WITH HIM ]

[alienates]

EXFUCKINGCUSE YOU. I HAVE WATCHED WILL SMITH'S ENTIRE FILMOGRAPHY.
BOTH WILL SMITHS, BTW. AND HE HAS STARRED IN NON-ROMCOMS.
AND I CONFIRMED NOTHING?

[ HE'S TOO DISTRACTED BY THE TEXTING ]

[parodeity]

your blatant crush on will smith is the only reason you did that and we both know it
name one non will smith non romcom you have willingly watched on your own of your own free will

[alienates]

FUCK YOU
ALL OF THEM?
HE IS A SUPERB ACTOR, DAVE. YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS THAT HE IS A BETTER RAPPER THAN YOU ARE.

[parodeity]

id mind you saying that if you had like
any sort of taste in rap at all
dirk knows whats up and he has taste so thats enough for me
also i meant what are all these supposed nonroms you have seen *without* will smith
fuck i have to stop doing that

[alienates]

FUCK YOU I HAVE SEEN THE 2005 VERSION OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE
WHICH IS A MASTERPIECE BTW.
AND THAT ISN'T A ROMCOM.

[parodeity]

[ let's acknowledge they're still in the same room and are just sitting together in front of the couch texting one another? dave like shifts to lean against karkat but keeps. texting. god ]

its a romance
same diff

[alienates]

WELL I AM WILLINGLY WATCHING THIS MOVIE WITH YOU
THIS MOVIE THAT WE ARE NOT ACTUALLY WATCHING YET, I MAY ADD.

[ look is anyone really surprised that they are this dumb. ]

[parodeity]

do you want to do something embarrassing in a ferris wheel karkat
is it r rated embarrassing or pg13
or pg
at least give me a reference frame here

[alienates]

I AM GOING TO DROP KICK YOU OUT OF THE GODDAMN FERRIS WHEEL.
ALSO BTW WHAT WOULD YOU EVEN DO IF I WAS LIKE
"OH YEAH IT'S TOTALLY R RATED, YOUR FACE PADS WILL GO COMPLETELY RED AT THE IDEA."
YOU TALK BIG BUT YOU ARE EASILY EMBARRASSED SO FUCK YOU.

[parodeity]

fuck off i am not
clearly it would depend on the r rated thing which i could totally handle
ive been to the deepest bowels of the human internet karkat
ive seen things

[ he literally blushed and flipped out at finding a playboy with dirk earlier this month. ]

[alienates]

[ dave u fucking loser ]

DID YOU HAVE YOUR EYES CLOSED THE ENTIRE TIME?
YOU CANNOT LIE TO ME, DAVE.
I HAVE SEEN THE WAY YOUR EYES SHIFT NERVOUSLY ANY TIME A HUMAN MATING SCENE HAPPENS IN A MOVIE THAT YOU HAVEN'T FALLEN ASLEEP DURING YET.
THE WAY YOU ARE SUDDENLY INTERESTED IN YOUR COMMUNICATOR INSTEAD OF WHATEVER IS GOING ON.

NOT THAT ANY OF THIS MATTERS BECAUSE NOTHING IS HAPPENING WITH THE FERRIS WHEEL.

[parodeity]

you get *way* more flustered than me and also maybe
i only react that way when im watching them with you
maybe i dont even flinch when watching them with other people
who are not rose
addendum
i hate watching that kinda shit with rose she always gets so
rose
honestly the english language has failed me here theres nothing that better sums up how rose gets than her name and literally nothing else
lame

wow so youre not going to ride in a ferris wheel with me
fine ill go with rose and kanaya

[alienates]

OK YOU GOT ME WITH ROSE.
BUT NO YOU GET MORE EMBARRASSED THAN I DO.
ANYTHING SAID OTHERWISE IS A BLATANT LIE?

WHOA
WHOA WHOA GODDAMN WHOA.
DON'T GO WITH ROSE AND KANAYA YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN THEIR DATE.

[parodeity]

dude i can make you get red in like 2 seconds flat
youd require more effort for me
therefore you are more easily embarrassed

what no im not
rose likes hanging out with me
id only go up in the ferris wheel with them not like around the entire place

[alienates]

THAT IS BULLSHIT ON BOTH ACCOUNTS

AND OH MY FUCK
DO NOT GO WITH THEM ON THE FERRIS WHEEL!!!!

[parodeity]

they wont care i hang out with them all the time
cmon vantas what did you think they were gonna get up to in there

also
its completely not bullshit on either account
that sounds like a challenge

[alienates]

I AM JUST SAYING THAT MAYBE THEY WOULD ENJOY A NICE LITTLE FERRIS WHEEL RIDE WITH THE COMPANY OF EACH OTHER.
WITH NO OTHER ADDITIONAL TAGALONGS.
GO WITH SOMEONE ELSE ON IT!!

IS IT REALLY A CHALLENGE WHEN I ALREADY KNOW THAT I'M RIGHT?

[parodeity]

oh my god fine ill take jade

yeah except youre wrong
but if i prove you wrong youre not gonna watch the movie with me

[alienates]

WHAT
WHY WOULD YOU TAKE JADE??

A) I AM NOT A SORE LOSER.
B) I AM NOT WRONG SO THIS IS A SCENARIO THAT WON'T EVER HAPPEN.