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[alienates]

For someone who likes to complain about shit being too melodramatic, you sure do love to talk out of your ass.

[ he knows dave is being serious there but like. come on.

also, karkat is nosy, so he tries to peek at what dave is typing. ]

Who are you talking to?

[parodeity]

[ okay but how else do you even put what dirk's doing. dave tilts the communicator away because he's a dick and he's doing a dick move kinda thing right now. ]

Trying to call in reinforcements and mostly failing.

[alienates]

[ no fuck you, karkat goes to grab dave's wrist so he can see what he's saying?? ]

Who the fuck are you talking to you pretentious douchebag? Let me see. You didn't go to Jake, did you? Oh my fuck, you went to Jake. Let me see!

[ karkat probably should not attempt to wrestle with someone who's sick but yolo..... ]

[parodeity]

[ karkat also should not attempt to wrestle with someone he has. yet to beat in a wrestle match? dave is distracted from his phone long enough to wrangle karkat into a headlock so he can keep typing. ]

No, it's a private conversation? [ it's a dick move cheating conversation but he's slightly desperate ] Just. I will go to the farm if you don't knock it off, watch me.

[alienates]

[ GODDAMMIT.... he struggles to get out of dave's hold. this is easier when dave is wearing the god tier pajamas because then karkat would just start annoyingly pulling at the cape. alas. ]

You say that as if I wouldn't just follow you there? I know where the farm is, Strider, it is not some mythical location that only you can access with the aid of Pupa dust.

[parodeity]

[ ok he won't make the threat of leaving the base entirely and flying off somewhere in storm season out loud but he definitely

thinks about it

like, if he has to abscond for real ]

Dude, you're the one who's always trying to sleep away from people and you pick now to decide you're sticking to me like glue? Also, what the fuck is pupa dust.

[alienates]

[ full offense but if dave attempted that then karkat would punt him into the volcano ]

It's exactly what it sounds like. What's not to get? Also maybe I like sleeping alone? Except right now. Now it is very important that I sleep with you which means that you are not leaving my side until I say it's okay.

[ he seriously does not trust dave to not attempt to get the fuck out. ]

[parodeity]

[ which is fair because he 100% should not trust dave not to do that although if. dave tries. karkat sticking to his side wouldn't stop him tbh. ]

So it's ground up bugs?

[alienates]

Wha-- oh my fuck, I mean Pupa Pan and not dead wrigglers. Just because you have some fucked up thing for corpses doesn't mean the rest of us do.

[ karkat stops struggling so he can switch tactics. ]

If you don't let me see that conversation I'm going to message Dirk.

[parodeity]

So, Peter Pan. Ok then.

[ he files that away in his troll cultural notes memories and shakes his head. ]

I'm not showin' you, but don't do that. Jake stopped replyin'.

[ so something's up ]

[alienates]

I bet he shared the conversation with Dirk. Since he's not a secretive asshole.

[ since karkat assumes that... dirk went to jake... the striders may have their differences, but they're also alike in a lot of ways. so if dave's immediate reaction was to find karkat, then. well. ]

[parodeity]

[ who else could he even go to? he's never, ever giving rose and john the context of bro even vaguely. they don't need to know. ever. ]

Maybe. [ it doesn't matter, does it? dave doesn't care if dirk reads about him. not wanting dirk to fuck himself over. ] So tell me about your day. Why the origami?

[alienates]

[ karkat scowls at the not even subtle attempt at a topic change. AT LEAST LET HIM GO FIRST YOU DICK. ]

You've probably been too busy dying of the disease you forgot to mention you have to notice, but someone covered a lot of the base with it.

[ that doesn't explain why he specifically has decided to try it out because he's grumpy right now thanks to a certain someone in this room??? ]

[parodeity]

[ he did not actually Intend to piss karkat off but he knew it was gonna happen because

yeah ]

I'm not dying, I've been way sicker than this and worked through it. Y'all worry too much. And I noticed, I just wanted to know what you were doin' playing with it?

[alienates]

Yeah, but you don't have to do this on your own anymore, dipshit. When the fuck will you get this simple fact through your think pan? Literally all you accomplished by hiding this from me is making me worry even more than I would have if I'd known all along, so congratu-fucking-lations there.

[ karkat's hand goes to grab dave's and squeezes it though. ]

Anyway. I don't know. It looked relaxing so I wanted to give it a try.

[ as one of the few people who hasn't gotten sick karkat has basically been running around all over the base. between taking care of the ill and dealing with the hurricane damage and running into all these random new people it's. been a month. ]

[parodeity]

Dirk was super sick, dude. He'd have worried himself even more sick if he knew I was sick before now.

[ so clearly the answer was to tell fucking no one? but he squeezes karkat's hand back automatically. ]

I can teach you to fold 'em proper sometime if you want. Like. I know a few?

[ also plz hold while he starts getting messages from dirk

the easy smile that started to build is gonna fade pretty fast ]

[alienates]

[ karkat opens his mouth to respond to dave's offer to teach him to do origami, except then dave suddenly looks Upset? ]

What? What the flying fuck is happening now?

[ at this point he knows dave won't show him the conversation but like?give him some context?? ]

[parodeity]

Dirk attempted to presumably lure me into a trap, we're arguin', he's probably still attempting to lure me into somethin'.

[ dave why

do you assume your brother is trying to lure you into a trap? beyond. bro being your longest experience.

you know what no that makes sense ]

[alienates]

[ tbf dave did cheat first. ]

You all make me so grateful that I'm not related to anyone, jegus. It's gambit after ridiculous gambit with you people.

[ he kisses dave's hand. there there, you nerd. ] So what are you doing then.

[parodeity]

[ yeah no he 100% did ]

I'm considering if I'm gonna do something or not.

[ way to be ominous ]

[alienates]

I am beginning to think your title is actually Knight of Vague because you never explain shit.

[ like, that is annoying on a good day but right now it is straight up infuriating. ]

Tell me what this something is you dick.

[parodeity]

I'm not set on what I'm gonna do, ok, but if I have to do a thing it's not gonna be anything you like, probably?

[ "probably" more like "absolutely" ]

[alienates]

[ karkat snorts. ] What? Dave Strider, doing something I don't like? What a goddamn shock! No one could have seen this plot twist coming.

[ he just reaches out so he can cup dave's dumb face between his hands. ]

Listen here you apple fucking turd, tell me these hypothetical plans.

[parodeity]

[ dave. shrugs. ]

I don't want to be here? Right now. Not here with you, I mean - that's fine, I just - I don't think I want to be here right now.

[ so basically he is two seconds away from pulling one of those disappearing acts he does when they argue sometimes

while sick

in the middle of storm season

this is gonna end well ]

[alienates]

[ oh

fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

karkat is fully aware that he cannot physically stop dave from running. dave is faster than him and can cheat and karkat had never beaten him in a wrestling match but he will probably scream if dave fucks off like this. ]

No. Don't you fucking dare. You will probably get eaten by a horrorterror or something out there, you're sick. No?